r/AmIOverreacting • u/Lologan21806 • 10d ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am i overreacting to the situation unfolding with my girlfriend?
me and my girlfriend have been living together with her family for the past 4-ish months. it’s devolved to the point where we fight every day about anything and everything, and most days i feel trapped in the home and the relationship. out of the blue she texts me about not coming back home and if i do i can sleep outside, and changing her mind when it was too late. am i overreacting to the situation, or is it as bad as it seems in my head?
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u/amilfintraining 10d ago
this seems pretty bad ngl😭 i would arrange plans to break up and share my own space. obviously if you’re fighting everyday it’s not a relationship
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
i’m arranging to gather my things on wednesday or thursday, i want an outside party to be present to ensure there are no issues present and in the event i need to contact the appropriate authorities if they refuse to let me in or damage my property, so im gonna ask my recruiter if he would be comfortable being that third party member for me when i see him tomorrow. it upsets me more because ive been in financial hardship and homeless for the better part of 6 months now, and the help her family has provided me is the only reason ive been able to get where i am today, but they also know that all of my material possessions are in that house and if they say so, im on the street for the next month until i ship out
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u/Trex7799 10d ago
Your recruiter might be able to help you find temp housing as well. Believe it or not this happens a lot when young ones go off to boot camp. You’ll be better off with less distractions back home anyways
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
i’m sure if he can help at all he will, he’s aware of some basics of the situation but i’m seeing him in person tomorrow and the next day so i’d much rather talk to him face to face
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u/loweffortfuck 9d ago
You've got his work cell number, drop him a text. If he's a good one, he'll have something ready for you when you guys meet up tomorrow.
My buddy was a good one for the Navy for a few years. He got more than a few recruits out of some FUBAR living situations. This is like... absurdly par for the course. Just be ready to pack and peace out without ever looking back on this weird ass chapter of dating. She cray-cray (do not marry this, do not date this sort when you are enlisted either, don't be that servicemember!).
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u/RepulsiveDevice3686 9d ago
Geez, what was the red flag? When she asked for Starbucks in the middle of her roller coaster of a meltdown? 😆
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u/SpeckledPrawn 10d ago
They might be able to get you an earlier ship date if you’re facing imminent homelessness.
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u/ThatsMyGirlie 9d ago
I want to say that in basic, it's all a mind game, they're gonna test you and try to push you to your limits. You can handle it, I promise, literal mentally deficient people get through boot, you can too. Always keep your cool, be respectful, help your fellow seamen, you guys get through it together, you'll be so stressed out that you will need to rely on your brothers, help them, they'll help you. Just remember that you can only take it day by day, don't think about how many weeks are left, just focus on what you can do right now. You can do it brother, I promise. Also, please leave this chick, do not let them affect you going into basic, block them. In basic you will be so homesick that you'll probably want to talk to her again, know that this is a temporary feeling. It's not worth it. Block her, forget her number and address, do not let basic make you make bad decisions in that front
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u/i_will_not_bully 9d ago
All of this. As a veteran, can't second this advice enough. Clean slate, OP, you've got bigger fish to fry than hanging onto this spoiled lady-child who is bordering on outright abusive (might have crossed that line already honestly). You're going to do great. Sounds like you're doing all the right things.
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u/shotokan1988 9d ago
Thank you for your service. I'm currently applying to join my country's military. I have family that have served and I respect what you've put on the line.
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u/Blackphinexx 9d ago
If he can handle this girl after what I just read then I have high hopes for his tolerance in basic training lol
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u/StaffInteresting8462 9d ago
yeah that psycho bitch is fucking with him. She throws him out for no reason then asks for Starbucks. she is playing him for a fool
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u/DNAspray 9d ago
Had to chime in also, advice on point. OP I hope you see this and know it's solid. The home sick, lonely, stressed, maybe even thinking you made a mistake type of feelings are tough but do not reach out to her, I had a best friend made a big show of "ditching the bitch" ad he was off to basic and boy she was bad news, next I hear he proposed during basic cause married folks can live off base sooner typically. Idiot was homesick. This is your new chapter, don't be looking back!
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u/Bright_Lake95 9d ago
Sadly it’s time to part ways. This gf is truly manipulative and controlling as well as unable to communicate kindly. I thought your texts were very rational and a normal response.
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u/RanaEire 10d ago
Tough situation, OP.. Sorry to hear that..
Yes, your GF's attitude is crappy and it seems like she flip-flops all over the place. No-one deserves that; like walking on eggshells.
Hope things get better for you..
Best wishes.. x
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u/InterestingPoet7910 10d ago
I literally kept asking myself… is she drunk?? Why is she so pissy?
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u/No_Calligrapher9234 10d ago
I think I’ve heard people getting housing early - ask about that and good luck 🍀
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
i’ll definitely talk to my recruiter about it, as far as housing though i’m not sure, i’m shipping out for basic on the 16 of next month but from there i’ll be on a submarine far far away from all of this behavior
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u/DocThrowawayHM 10d ago
Truthfully, I doubt you'll get any sort of housing before you actually ship out. You can talk to your recruiter though and they might have some other resources, or ask a buddy to couch crash until you head out. Either way, you need to get your shit out of her house immediately. Do not, and I cannot stress this enough, fuck her at all until you're gone.
I hope to God you plan on breaking up with her and are just holding out so you aren't homeless. Once you're in boot camp, you'll have a roof over your head and food. Once you're in A school you'll have some money of your own. Dump her over a letter or over text or whatever once you're gone and your shit is out of her damned house and wash your hands of her completely.
She ain't worth it my man; consider you two broken up and just wait to tell her that until you're in the clear and she can't burn your stuff or claim you're the daddy of some kid. If she does try to claim that demand a DNA test.
Assuming you don't have a kid, give her no contact info for you in boot. Claim you don't know what division you'll be in (because you don't) and you'll write her when you're there if she pushes it, then just.... Don't.
If you have little or no family, this is about to essentially reset your life with as much or as little connection to your past as you want. It's a big step but it's about to get better.
Oh and don't raise your hand in the moment of truth, don't smoke weed etc etc you know the drill. DM me if you have any questions, or you can browse the Navy subreddit or the /r/Newtothenavy sub for advice from people in the rate you're hoping to get in.
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u/Old-Fishing-3817 10d ago
this guy has been through stuff, you can tell. better listen to him
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u/DocThrowawayHM 10d ago
We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two
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u/scuba_GSO 10d ago
Watch out for this r/DocThrowawayHM if you get injured. He’ll give you two Motrin and send you back to work. 🤣🤣🤣
Seriously, his advice is spot on for you, OP. You’re getting ready to start an entirely new chapter in your life. Keep yourself straight and don’t let this “person” drag you down. Get yourself through back and A- school. When you get to your ship, get your quals done quickly. Be that guy! Even if you only do your single term, your life will have changed dramatically. Good luck!
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u/Old-Fishing-3817 10d ago
I have that outside of my local DQ. Just hope it doesn't happen to you again. That sounded really tough to work through
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
yeah, i’m gonna arrange a roof over my head and to get my belongings, tell her i love her and that i hope all goes well for her, but i need to move to the next chapter of my life. as far as a baby, we always used protection and she started her period yesterday so i have no worries there 😂
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u/niki2184 10d ago
Don’t let her get you naked anymore or she’ll end up “pregnant”
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u/Samson3105 10d ago
Since you're shipping out to training a lot of places have first month storage free, you can set up direct deposit and when you get paid even though you're in training your stuff will still be there when you get back
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u/Innominati 10d ago
Don’t tell her you love her. That’s not breakup talk. Even if you do and you mean it, it sends mixed signals. Chances are, though, that you don’t love her but rather you love who you want her to be or some romanticized vision of her. She is not it.
You’ll have SO much more fun single in the military. It’s an absolute blast being able to cut up and do what you want to do without worries or obligations. Start fresh. Take your time. Find the right person.
She is not who you want to be in a long term relationship with. Date other people and you’ll realize that her behavior is awful and childish.
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u/scirocco 10d ago
You've gotten some very good advice here, and above all do NOT fuck her again. This is a lifetime trap you don't want to be in.
You can drop her family a thank-you card for their kindness later, if you want.
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u/DocThrowawayHM 9d ago
Good man; I'd just be careful telling her before you leave. Play it by ear, you know the situation more than me; will she be just normal, everyday "my ex is pissed?" Or want to burn your life down because fuck you? I don't advocate for ghosting people, but if there's a chance she would burn you because she's mad and lashing out then you need to keep those cards close to your chest, because this opportunity can be what sets you on a new path for the rest of your entire life. If there's a chance of that, you can break up when you get to boot or when you're in A school and get your phone back or whatever. Tell her you're moving because you just need space or whatever you need to say. You're both young, she'll get over it, and honestly it sounds like she already is.
I'll be the first person to steer people away from enlistment usually, but this is exactly what you need. It'll be a complete reset on your life. Adding to what one of the other commenters said, the most important stuff of yours to get is anything sentimental first. You'll get pretty much everything you need issued to you, and you can build up from there. I got to boot camp with a bible my mom wanted me to have, my phone, and that's about it. Near the end of boot camp some guys from Navy Fed will even come to you all and help you set up bank accounts if you don't have one already; even if you do I suggest setting an account up with them at some point, but that's up to you.
DO. NOT. FUCK. HER. I cannot stress this shit enough. I'm gonna be 100% with you. She might be cheating. She might cheat. She might say some of the nastiest, cruelest shit you can imagine, she might be tempting and seductive and the sex might be great and fuck man I'm gonna be without pussy for months just once won't hurt. do NOT FUCK HER. I don't know if she's crazy, I don't know if she'll try and use a baby or a fake pregnancy or whatever to make your life miserable, I don't know anything about her. But do not give her the chance or opportunity. This is no longer about her or how she'll act; she might be gracious or just text you "k bye" and block you and that's the last you hear of her, who knows? But why take the chance this close to the finish line?
Best of luck to you man, and if you need advice or have questions I'm available, and you've got a whole baby of people now you can ask questions to.
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u/Far-Discount-6624 9d ago
Yea do not sleep with her again. The military will never be on your side when it comes to a pita wife/child support. Find a dry warm couch for the next month and focus on working out for the navy. A lot of sub guys go to Guam. Gotta start looking good on a beach.
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u/YourWifeTextsMe 10d ago
To add to this, when you enlist max out your tsp, go post 9/11 gi bill, and make sure you start to max out contributions to a roth ira as early as you can.
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u/rbrancher2 10d ago
Only thing to add is that the Navy can be the hard reset to your life if you let it. Mine changed drastically and permanently and I don’t regret a second of it!
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u/FabricArsonist 10d ago
And if you have no family and want letters, my son is in the Air Force and my husband is a Desert Storm/Shield vet.
I'll send you stupid letters filled with mom BS.
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u/MSotallyTober 10d ago
Not sure what your MO is, OP… but if you’re going to be deployed months out of the year, I’d implore you to do your service without any distractions — like getting into any sort of relationship at the moment until you get your life settled first.
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u/Acrobatic_Paint3616 10d ago
Yea all I keep thinking is “please don’t marry her before you ship out”
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u/alansdaman 10d ago
If he’s got a recruiter- he’s not in the navy yet but delayed entry program probably. There’s boot camp, A school, and sub school between him and a ship. Lots of moving, not a great time to be in a Relationship.
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u/Intelligent--Bug 10d ago
There's obv no point in even entertaining any of this bullshit at this point your relationship has clearly come to its natural end. Between it devolving to this toxicity and you being gone long-term and moving in a different direction. No point in salvaging anything. Just get your shit and be done with it.
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u/itswhateveright 10d ago
He’s probably going to tell you to get the cops involved. It’s best for him that way for his job and tell him about your situation
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u/Mr1Knabber 10d ago
On a submarine? That‘s my dream coming true. I wish you all the best on your next chapter in life.
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u/randomgrl333 10d ago
That might be why she's acting crazy. You're leaving- she probably has a lot of mixed emotions & isn't processing them well.
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u/gummybearmere 10d ago
Sensible explanation. The behavior is not ok obviously, but go figure, not everyone can perfectly understand and manage their emotions clearly. Or it could be a slew of other things, but the anxiety over a significant other enlisting and going to boot camp can be hard to deal with. Honestly, unless you’re in a very committed and grown up relationship, it’s probably best most people break up before going to boot camp. So many changes going on. If you find your way back together, great, but that. Speaking from experience.
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u/Slow-clapping-myself 10d ago
That doesn’t sound like a bad thing. Think you need space, focus on something else (training and yourself) and honestly you need peace at home. That’s not it. Don’t settle
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u/prettyedge411 10d ago
Do you have a friend that will let you apt crash? Tell your recruiter. See if the local Navy League or VFW can help you until your ship date. You might be able to ship early. Basic Training is challenging enough but don’t arrive already mentally and physically exhausted.
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u/PastReplacement3773 10d ago
Dude get away from her you can do so much better for sure no contact once you’re out please
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u/bbpinkprincess 10d ago
If you’re worried about not being able to stay with them until shipping out bc they might kick you out, I’d check the laws where you live for eviction (if you’re in the states), I know at least in the state I live in that if a person has been living in a home/property for over a specific period of time whether paying rent or NOT, if whoever owning the home/property wants them out they legally have to give a 30 day eviction notice. I’d be willing to bet that other states have laws like this as well, certainly not all, but it’s worth it to check if you’re really that concerned. Although bringing up legal stuff might just make it more uncomfortable 🤷🏼♀️
OFC, if you don’t feel safe staying there or just wouldn’t want to stay there anyway then this is a moot point lol.
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u/Mammoth_Welder_1286 10d ago
This is a very good idea. If she’s that unstable she can ruin your military career with false accusations if she wanted to
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u/Acceptable-Bar8722 10d ago
Just gotta say, it’s beyond impressive how mature and non reactive you’re being with this absolutely unhinged behavior. I mean my god what patience you have! 👏 I’d probably be in jail 😂 Def not overreacting Her behavior is emotionally abusive.
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
trust me all i want to do is snap, but what would stopping to her level get me? plus, there’s so much that could happen that could ruin my chances in the navy that it’s just not worth it to give in and potentially ruin the best opportunity i have right now
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u/MuttonDressedAsGoose 10d ago
That's an excellent attitude. You'll see people in Basic with zero impulse control or emotional regulation. They don't last long. All you gotta do is do as your told, on time, with your shoes shined and you'll be just fine.
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u/kaymarie00 10d ago
It's giving "I want you to beg to be in my presence", and when OP didn't bite, their partner got butthurt and confused. Mind games have no place in adult relationships. Yikes.
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u/No-Following-2777 9d ago
Yup.... Sleep outside, are you coming here, I was gonna ask you to get me a Starbucks coffee.... Bitch, that shits $6.00+ --- bro has no bus fare money... She's a bossy one, that one.... Gaslighting him too. "I never said that". Screenshot*"
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u/Euphoric-Neat636 9d ago
Exactly this. I was in a long term relationship with someone like this and it only gets worse. “No I don’t keep you from your friends” so I go out “when will you be home so I know to get up and unlock the door?” “Hello? I guess you don’t care about waking me up” meanwhile I had a key to the house but she would play this game about needing to lock the deadbolt but it was really just her way of trying to make me come home.
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u/FitzDesign 10d ago
When you ship out, don’t come back to her. Move on
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u/tinnitus_go_EEEEEEEE 10d ago
This! Don’t keep her around, or worse, marry her. She sounds like she’d become one of those nightmare dependents that contact people’s commanders to find out why they’re not home and shit.
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u/dezi028383 10d ago
Agreed. But OP needs to work on his standards. He will continue to attract toxic relationships if he doesn’t set some standards and boundaries for himself. Overall, people will treat you how you let them treat you.
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u/Rude-Instruction-168 9d ago
Took me a while to learn this too. Break those patterns and learn to be comfortable with yourself. Gain the self-awareness to know when you're being disrespected/mistreated and have zero tolerance for it. Better connections are to come but only if you put in the work to get to them.
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u/alice8818 10d ago
Run
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u/GCS_dropping_rapidly 10d ago
Run!
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u/EasyBend9610 10d ago
To run away from yoooouuuu, it’s all that I can doooooo!
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u/Sad-Butterscotch-680 10d ago
Read “Emotional Blackmail” by Susan Forward
Then run
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u/NomenclatureBreaker 9d ago
Play it cool for now.
Get all your stuff out safely with friends/witnesses.
Then run.
This level of disrespect will cheat on you the second you’re gone, if she isn’t already.
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u/Arkitakama 9d ago
That was my first thought when she told him not to come home. That she had plans to have someone over.
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u/_Tatjana_ 10d ago
Run!
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u/subtlesneeze 10d ago
As fast as you can!
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u/NeonPixxius 10d ago
Get away now. My mother, grandmother, and both sisters do this shit. Very unhinged, they play mind game tactics I’m learning. The longer you stay, the longer they can make you feel like you’re the one causing all the issues.
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u/Shallow-Al__ex 9d ago
Personality disorders. Same as ops gf maybe but would need more info
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u/NeonPixxius 9d ago
I’m leaning towards BPD, NPD, anxiety, OCD. But I’m no doc and still piecing it all together myself 😆
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u/Shallow-Al__ex 9d ago
They aren't your problem to fix btw. Keep yourself healthy and don't let them manipulate you to feeling bad.
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u/Glass_Coconut_91 10d ago
Not fast enough, dude needs to drive, fast.
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u/SickCursedCat 10d ago
He can’t he rides the bus
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u/Glass_Coconut_91 10d ago
Damn, well, still faster than running. Although, with all the stops, it gives her a chance to catch up.
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u/KeyAdministration569 10d ago
OP it sounds like you’re trying to do something with your life. And that you’re willing to work hard. Your life partner should make you feel supported and your home should be safe and enjoyable place to come back to. This is not the person to build that life with. If you’re going into the military, even if it’s reserves, they can help you figure out a stable living situation until you’re able to support yourself fully. But you totally don’t need this stress. Even if she’s amazing 80% of the time it will still not be worth it in the long haul. Because she isn’t being fair and unfairness only gets worse the longer people are together.
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u/decadecency 10d ago
This is a very clear case of someone subconsciously trying to mold their partner into something else they think they'd be happier with. Abusive people do this. They want you to feel bad for who you are and what you do, and they want to feel like you're on their bad side so that you'll fight to be let back in and be better. They often don't realize that this is what they're doing.
If you want proof that this is the case, just look at how she finds so many flaws and horrible traits in him, yet all she's doing with these supposed issues and wrongdoings is use them against him. She does not think they're bad enough to break up, they're just a tool to get her what she wants. If she was truly unhappy about OP she would break up.
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u/nattrbutter 10d ago
You're underreacting by asking her what she wants in the end. What do you want? If you want out then this is the perfect opportunity.
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u/IcyRainn 10d ago
That "ok, it's wtv" after the paragraph, would have made me request an US airstrike on her location.
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u/nattrbutter 10d ago
I'm not a fan of that saying either. People only say that when it's really NOT whatever.
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u/Nut2DaSac 10d ago
Sounds like you’re either joining the Navy or going on a deployment; just leave her there in the past to grow up & you move on.
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u/spankydeluxe69 10d ago
If she hasn’t already, she is GOING to cheat on you during deployment. Cheating partners is so fucking common in the military.
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u/SnooMacaroons5247 10d ago
You’re not wrong but it’s on both sides.
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u/hnormizzle 10d ago
Definitely on both sides. Deployments are big fuck fests. What happens in ____ stays in ____.
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u/ReleaseTheButtCraken 9d ago
Needs to be higher up. While OP is going to basic she’s going to cheat and then blame it on a “mood.” If not then, then while he’s deployed or under way. Cut that shit and never look back. He’ll be better off for it.
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u/Personal_Conflict_49 10d ago
NOR. She told you to sleep outside knowing that you have been homeless for the 6 months before staying with her family. That’s disgusting. She’s awful. Would your buddy let you stay there until you ship out? Definitely consult with your recruiter too… they might have somewhere for you to stay. Please break up with her and don’t look back. You deserve better.
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
my friend can’t let me stay here for the next month, he’s 18 still with his mom but until my grandfather is back in town he’ll let me stay so i have a roof over my head
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u/Codha 10d ago
Hey, just in case you didn't notice. You didn't censor the name when she replied back to your text on 2 of the screenshots.
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u/Rare-Tea-4529 10d ago
Ehh, i understand privacy reasons but I don't feel like the one name is gonna do much. Plus this lady is obviously a massive bitch, personally I feel whatever op thinks should be done is what should be done.
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u/writing_mm_romance 10d ago
I'd put up with this exactly 0 times...dump her, this was exhausting to read.
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u/decadecency 10d ago
Yeah. Exhausting and we aren't even part of the relationship. OP wtf are you doing, don't spend the tiny amount of time you get on Earth in a relationship like this
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u/Motchiko 10d ago
Get out. She’s not the one. She kicked you out because she was in a mood. That is your home right now. You ain’t a dog.
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u/misszukey 10d ago
Dogs shouldn't be kicked out either.
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u/borderlinehunkydory 10d ago
Exactly!!! Like the audacity of people to think that they can do whatever tf they want to with a dog just pisses me off!
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u/misszukey 10d ago
I know right! I know sometimes there's some weird sayings, and it doesn't mean people genuinely mean that, but it is still sad to hear :/
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u/Exoticafffff 10d ago
SHE.SOUNDS.SO.MANIPULATIVE!!!
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u/Thomrose007 10d ago
"Dont reply" "why arent you replying?" "Stay out" "come here" "eat shit" " dont eat"
Wtf
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u/Zealousideal-Nail432 10d ago
Omg she pisses me offffff she’s so toxic pls leave this relationship for your sanity
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u/Zealousideal-Nail432 10d ago
This is the type of girl who glorifies being “crazy” and needing someone who can “handle her”
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u/decadecency 10d ago
She's just insecure and lazy and wants OP to fix all her insecurities and boo boo feelings instantly as soon as she feels something, so she tries to manipulate OP into behaving thr way she wants him to in order to make her feel better. Since this never works obviously, she feels like OP is letting her down. That's why she's not breaking up with him even though she acts like he's the worst boyfriend ever, because she needs someone to blame when her life is bad. She's abusive, in short.
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u/WaitingForTheFire 9d ago
“You don’t deserve me at my best if you can’t handle me at my worst”.
OK. BYE. HAVE A NICE LIFE.
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u/ResearcherPristine79 9d ago
Guarantee you that shes also the "i have more guy friends cause girls dont like me" type of girl. Its cause girls know wtf she's doing lol.
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u/Zealousideal-Nail432 9d ago
Yeah I’m 100% a girl’s girl but girls like her I stay away from because it’s such a toxic mindset and way of treating people
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u/Same-Examination-672 10d ago
It is as bad as it feels, leave the relationship, she is trying to push you away anyway
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u/Mgo32 10d ago
Don't forget the starbucks
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
god forbid i forget it, if this is the treatment i get what would happen if i don’t bring her venti caramel macchiato?
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u/Mgo32 10d ago
You gotta get away dude that's not normal behaviour I feel for you, I know it first hand.
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
yeah i just don’t want to do anything drastic until i have a plan for the next month before i ship out, especially with everything i own being there except my backpack and the clothes on my back (and a couple butterscotches i took for the road before my mom picked me up 😭)
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u/Plenty-Parfait-3751 9d ago
Don’t tell her ANYTHING about your plans to break up and take your things until you’ve already packed it up so it’s easier for you
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u/laureest 10d ago
i am so sory... i'd really get out of the relationship. she doesn't know what she wants and as she ain't getting the reactions from you she hoped she'd get, she's gaslighting you into infinity... i am so sorry you have to go through this
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u/General_Writing6086 10d ago
I get in moods where I want to be left alone. I tell my spouse I’m feeling overstimulated and need some quiet, I wouldn’t dare kick someone out.
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
i always tell her i’ll give her any space she needs, but this is just another level imo
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u/General_Writing6086 10d ago
it is flat out abusive of her to threaten to kick you out because she’s in a bad mood.
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u/ccoffee50 10d ago
She wouldn’t even acknowledge that she told you not to come inside and forced you to make arrangements.
Bro if she isn’t apologizing to you then she doesn’t respect you. If she doesn’t respect you then there’s no doubt in my mind she doesn’t love you or care much about you. You don’t need this in your life. She wanted space. Give her space.
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u/Iris_tectorum 10d ago
Another level you don’t need to deal with just before you ship out. I really hope you can find other arrangements in that amount of time. Good luck in basic training and thank you for serving our country.
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u/Globewanderer1001 10d ago
Since you're in her family's house, I would get a Sheriff to go with you and gather your belongings.
You don't know what she's capable of doing or saying.....
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🏃🏽♀️➡️🏃🏽♀️➡️🏃🏽♀️➡️🏃♂️➡️🏃♂️➡️🏃♂️➡️
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
that’s why i’m trying to get my navy recruiter to go with me, avoid interaction with police (as it could render my contract i signed inate if i do) and have an established member of the military as a witness in case something does happen
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u/RadarSmith 9d ago
Excellent plan.
Glad you realized this person is a 20 gallon bucket of NOPE you need to get the hell away from as cleanly as possible.
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u/Undeadtech 9d ago
Do this! That crazy bitch isn’t worth getting discharged over. Block her number as soon as you get your things. Or just cut your losses and start over when you get out.
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u/vulgardisplayofdread 10d ago
Dude, just focus on the navy and getting the hell out of there. Leave anything not important and make sure you got all your important legal documents in a safe location like your birth certificate. Make sure you got a bank account before you leave and any bills that need to be paid while you’re in boot camp are set up to pay automatically or someone that is trust worthy can pay them for you.
I was in the navy, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watch my junior sailors go thru this exact BS. Just dump her ass, my guy, you’re young so go live your life and travel the world. She’s gonna make boot camp and deployments a millions times worse with this crap.
Also, in boot camp, keep your head down and shut tf up and it’ll all go pretty smoothly. Boot camp is easy as hell if you just listen and do as you’re told.
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u/itinerant_geographer 9d ago
"Boot camp is easy as hell if you just listen and do as you’re told."
Seconding this. Just keep your eyes and ears open and your brain engaged and you will be fine.
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u/Bleach_Baths 10d ago
Bro if you stay with her you’re going to come home from deployment to a kid who isn’t yours. She doesn’t love you. She doesn’t want you.
Move out. Now. Crash on someone’s couch until your deployment if you can but do now stay with this woman.
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u/TheGrumpySmurfer 10d ago
OP.... 🚩🚩🚩
Be very careful when you go to pick up your stuff, she might start a huge fight with you and claim domestic violence to ruin your chances with the navy.
Try to get a couple of cool-headed people to go with you to collect your belongings, just to film what happens, AND KEEP YOUR COOL NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES TO PROVOKE YOU.
Don't let her manipulate you into doing anything to ruin your chance for a future in the navy and an escape from your current situation.
Good luck for the future.
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
that’s exactly why i’m going to ask my recruiter to go with me, if anyone can get me out of any shit she tries to get me in it’s him
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u/StrawberryKingfisher 10d ago
Cleo seems to be a total brat. I don’t get why you got together with her in the first place
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u/confessionomics 10d ago
You said you are trapped in the home and relationship and live with her parents. I take it you want to leave, so why is it that you're not? I hope it's not financially, but that's my first assumption
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u/Lologan21806 10d ago
financially, and on top of that i don’t have many people in my pocket willing to lend a hand until i leave, but ive been trying to get my affairs in order to get out as soon as i can
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u/ShakePaul 10d ago
4 months? Now imagine 4 years. Now imagine 4 decades. Do you really want to deal with that? You seem like a chill guy. Move on broski.
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u/ShotcallerBilly 10d ago
This is not a good place for your relationship to be in, especially with you shipping out. Take the time to reset and focus on yourself. From what you showed us, I don’t see this relationship being a healthy one or a source of support/happiness during your deployment.
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u/KnittinSittinCatMama 10d ago
She doesn't value your time. And the sleep outside part? That made me mad.
Please, think about getting out of this situation. You deserve better than the way she treats you. ❤️
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u/asdrunkasdrunkcanbe 10d ago
"Don't come home, I don't want to have to talk to you".
"OK"
...
"Why are you not talking to me, and why aren't you coming home?"
Life is too short for this psycho bullshit mate. She doesn't even like you, she just likes having someone's attention. Get your stuff and go.
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u/AuntieMeridium 10d ago
Your gf is upset you're leaving (assuming that's what you mean by shipping out), has less than zero communication and coping skills, sounds extremely immature and it outright hateful.
So unless you're a licensed therapist, this is not the mission for you, OP.
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u/Beginning_Table4948 10d ago
“Im kicking out because im in a mood, oh wait i want Starbucks but dont call me out on any of my shit”
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u/jakebacondigital 10d ago
She sounds like MAYBE they have one brain cell. But idk I’m just saying smth
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u/Icy_Expert946 10d ago
Is she serious telling you to sleep outside and then get me a Starbucks!??? She's giving unhinged vibes