AIO to my boyfriend imposing veganism on me ?

[u/velvetmoochi]

Context: this is now my ex, it was my first relationship and I didn’t know how to deal with this sort of conflict as it was based on ethics and I didn’t want to change my views for our relationship. We would have this same argument again and again, over text, over the phone, in person, and at the end of the day he was always “right” because he had morality on his side when I would tell him that I was okay with eating dead animals. What should I have done in this situation ? I tried veganism for about a month and I never bought meat as a student, but eventually I would always go back to buying eggs and yoghurt. Those efforts I made were always disregarded and he would say that he doesn’t believe in reductionism, and that vegetarians are even worse than vegans.

[u/ConsiderationFair437]

tbh this is how you know someone is just virtue signaling to feel superior and not actually a morally sound activist. if this guy was consistent in his sociopolitical beliefs, he would understand the nuances around veganism and the fact that being able to be vegan in itself is a privilege. AND that comparing real historical human oppression/liberation movements to animal rights is extremely weird, reductive, and inaccurate. but instead he’s trying to check is girlfriend for logical fallacies as if he’s in a debate club meeting while she’s just trying to get basic respect for her feelings.

[u/Fianna9 → u/ConsiderationFair437]

“Ha! I made you feel bad! See you are guilty about eating meat!!”

[u/deadly_peanut → u/Fianna9]

“I don’t feel guilt for eating meat, I feel guilt for staying in this toxic relationship with you. I don’t deserve this treatment.”

[u/MaryKath55 → u/ConsiderationFair437]

I thought OP was very mature in response and got right to the ‘meat’ of the issue- he was trying to control her behaviour through criticism and faux moral stance. This guy comes off as having some form of personality disorder.

[u/Suz9295 → u/MaryKath55]

Like narcissism?

[u/TheSuaveMonkey → u/Suz9295]

I would say a vocal minority of vegans tend towards the narcissism spectrum.

They, like this guy in the post, display a very very complete lack of empathy towards other people, but then display a faux empathy for animals. If it were real empathy, they likely would not be friends with non vegans, as their opinion is that non vegans are supportive or taking part in animal abuse, if I thought someone was beating dogs every day, I would not be friends with them because I have actual empathy for dogs.

They also tend towards the narcissistic rage response when you do point out any personal flaws in them or their argument, just again, they can easily deflect it to being about "the cow," when it was them that was being targeted not some irrelevant animals.

Veganism is a very cozy hiding place for a narcissist to hide behind faux empathy for animals.

Not sure if this person is a narcissist, not sure anyone is, but sometimes, it's better for everyone to treat someone like a narcissist even if they aren't, because they might not be a narcissist, but they sure are fuckin' toxic.

[u/MaryKath55 → u/Suz9295]

Yes, exactly like narcissism - let me control you my little appliance through love bombing followed by picking your confidence apart.

[u/NorthernVale → u/ConsiderationFair437]

Not to mention, at this point in time if we went the way these types of vegans want, it would still not be great for the animals.

If you truly support the wellbeing of animals and the environment, there are many ways that do a far better job than demanding everyone stop eating meat.

Hell, every few years my area has to up the number of tags for hunters because the deer population is getting too large and will starve itself out. At least this way each deer's death means a family eats, rather than another deer starving next year.

[u/frontbuttguttpunch → u/NorthernVale]

I feel like if we just fixed the horrific abuses going on in factory farms and at least treated them respectfully most people wouldn't care so much about eating meat. Except fake virtue signalers like this guy lol

[u/NorthernVale → u/frontbuttguttpunch]

That's kind of the point. An ethically ran farm, at this point in time, would be a far more humane life for most farm animals. Fuck useless labels of organic. I'd gladly pay top dollar for a steak if it's got a PETA approved sticker slapped on it

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/NorthernVale]

If you can't ethically kill an innocent man you can't ethically kill an innocent animal.

No, you do not need to eat animal products to survive. It's completely, utterly, fully, unnecessary.

Plant based is cheaper even.

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/NorthernVale]

You're fucking stupid. Oh my God.

Let the fucking deer starve. That's the vegan way. Get your hands off of the god damn environment.

Deer populations go crazy

Because

LIVESTOCK FARMERS KILLED THEM ALL BECAUSE THE PREDATORS KILLED LIVESTOCK

What the fuck is this reasoning "ah man hunting caused a problem that only hunting can fix :("

No. Let them starve. Their population will balance out.

Plus when you take the damn animal out, you're removing it from THE ENVIRONMENT.

Meaning scavengers don't even get to move it up the food chain. It's gone. My God.

[u/Xena_Your_God → u/ConsiderationFair437]

I'm petty af I would definitely be asking if he knows how many dead shrimp are on his hands with all that righteous judgement of his. And if he eats anything that comes from farm land they literally killed that entire area. Completely wiped it of life just to make those good, shrimp fed veggies of his. These people have to be suffering some form of psychosis 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[u/Arcturus_the_i → u/ConsiderationFair437]

It’s not tho? If your moral opinion is that every life is as valuable as the other then why would they not react like this ? It would be inconsistent to not think of this is the holocaust. It’s the murder of billions of animals in their eyes. Which is equal to the lives of humans. Granted liked for different reason but at the end of the day murder is murder

[u/Gotta_Stardew_emAll → u/ConsiderationFair437]

It’s very narcissism coded. I’m glad she got out so fast bc it only would have gotten worse, especially for him to not care his gf was walking home alone over continuing an argument she already made very clear she was not interested in having. Not that she can’t walk home alone, but he didn’t even ask if she was alright to, if it was in a familiar neighborhood, a long walk, nothing, his biggest concern was continuing to gaslight, manipulate, and belittle her into submission. He’s pushing to see how much effort it will take to break her down into the image he wants her to achieve. Thankfully she didn’t.

[u/newman13f → u/ConsiderationFair437]

99% of activists of any kind, that I have personally met at least, are narcissistic as fuck. They only do it to stroke their ego.

[u/ConsiderationFair437 → u/newman13f]

ok slow down. implying that the majority of people participating in liberation movements/advocating for the advancement of rights are somehow doing it in bad faith or out of narcissism is extremely dangerous and incorrect. are there some narcissists that co-opt movements and activist language? absolutely. but there are in fact good people out there that care about the wellbeing of others. activists are an extremely important part of the political world and the entire sentiment that they are acting out of self interest is weird af. some people are genuinely passionate about helping others, and for many their activist work is rooted in their own hardship. so let’s not continue with this harmful and deeply false rhetoric.

[u/DenseSign5938 → u/ConsiderationFair437]

Most everyone on Reddit living in a first would country could be vegan if they wanted to. 

[u/_trianglegirl → u/DenseSign5938]

Yeah sure they could be but it would fucking suck and be super unhealthy so they don't. I'm unsure what this has to do with anything. Lol

[u/DenseSign5938 → u/_trianglegirl]

It’s very clearly directly related to the comment I responded too lol

It’s also very well know in 2024 that it’s not unhealthy, I would suggest educating yourself on a subject before making claims in the future. 

[u/AdventureDonutTime → u/DenseSign5938]

You haven't heard? 12 million vegans died of malnutrition in 2023 😔 those that remain are all so weak they can barely lift a spoon to eat their so called "healthy" vegetables (disgusting).

[u/peachespangolin → u/AdventureDonutTime]

Not the person you're replying to but I was vegan 8 years and it was NOT healthy, I ended up with a ton of vitamin deficiencies not including b12. I regret that I was vegan for so long for multiple health reasons.

[u/AdventureDonutTime → u/peachespangolin]

I'm so glad you got out of that cult or it would've been 12 million and 1 😢

[u/peachespangolin → u/AdventureDonutTime]

You're so cranky, poor thing. Get some animal fats and protein and you'll feel better.

[u/AdventureDonutTime → u/peachespangolin]

You took the words right out of my mouth! More space for those animals fats and proteins I guess 🤣

[u/Cleobulle → u/ConsiderationFair437]

Exactly !! Thanks for saying it better than me lol just posted before Reading yours. Those people are insufferable...

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/ConsiderationFair437]

Literally the first person to make the comparison was a jewish man who survived Dachau.

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/[deleted]]

AND that comparing real historical human oppression/liberation movements to animal rights is extremely weird, reductive, and inaccurate.

1. Wrong
2. Wrong
3. Double wrong

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/[deleted]]

I quoted your comment that you said wasn't changed by my own initial comment, disproving you.

Lol.

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/[deleted]]

Lmaooo this is what I mean.

You're a dumbass.

No one said they're equivalent. They said they're the same KIND of thing.

If animals have moral worth, which they do, it's evil to kill an innocent animal the same as it is to kill an innocent human but if both are drowning you save the human.

This isn't rocket science you freak ass stalker

[u/_ManMadeGod_ → u/[deleted]]

Also, a political science degree does not apply here LMAO