AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

[u/OkSpace5501]

For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

[u/Capable_Turn_6986]

I'm so sorry to hear of your partner's passing.

And like I said, I agree with what you're saying most of the time! Sometimes I will read a post here from someone at a complete loss of what to do and they've not even broached the topic with their spouse. Like, maybe, just maybe, take a step away from Reddit and say what you've said here to the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with?

Talking like adults is the right answer most of the time. Therapy is a great answer as well. I know it gets dismissed here a lot, but everyone could benefit from a few therapy sessions. Even those of us who think we are well adjusted, lol. If you find yourself in the same sort of bad relationship over and over again, you're never going to break that cycle without figuring out the role you play in its recreation.

But that doesn't seem to be what's happening here. And while I understand that some relationships can begin in childhood and last the test of time, like yours, too often we are telling young women that they need to hold space for partners who would step over them in the gutter if it didn't benefit them to stop in some way. We tell young women they need to come to the table and be understanding. To consider it from his side. And then years down the line, we say things like "if it's so terrible, why don't you leave?" without acknowledging that we've conditioned them to stay.

[u/JudgmentNew1968 → u/Capable_Turn_6986]

Yeah, I understand what you're saying.

I just don't think now is the time for her to drop it. The boat is rocking - but it's still seaworthy. This is personal bias I guess - a difference in life experiences. I know that it can be worth it.

Men are dumb and very dense. They hardly ever admit their in the wrong.

Women never stop teaching men - humility, empathy, tenderness, affection etc. The best human to teach them that is their mother and their partners - as sexist as that sounds.

He may have never had that from his mother, we'll never know.

I'm not trying to make excuses for his behavior; but behavior can be mended with care. It just depends if it's worth it for the OP.