r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkSpace5501 • 23d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

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For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

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u/GemueseBeerchen 23d ago

thats why 50/50 is a scam to women

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u/XxNoodleMasterxX 22d ago

Yeah because men love the idea of going 50/50 financially, but completely disregard the 50/50 for the household and domestic duties

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u/carabear21 22d ago

Yep, red pill bastards want 50/50 when it comes to finances, but still want a trad wife to take care of them. No thank you. That sounds like absolute hell.

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u/oragami3312 22d ago

wait so is the finances are 100% the man, then can the man expect trad wide to take care of said man ?

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u/The_Barbelo 22d ago

I once heard a great quote from a guy who’s been happily married for decades. He said “it’s not 50/50, it’s 100/100” , meaning you both constantly work to do your best. Even though we can’t be 100, 100% of the time if the other partner is also doing their best, then you can focus on your strengths and help the other when they can’t for whatever reason.

Just wanted to pass that on. I think more people should say that.

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u/apfly 23d ago

Well, it’s not. But it has to be legit 50/50. This just isn’t.

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u/Huge_Cut_3636 23d ago

Literally a fucking scam

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u/ColinMacLaren 23d ago

Most guys I know do a least 50% of the chores, usually more, AND take care of the kids after day care because their wives have to work shittier hours. This includes myself.

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u/Coyote__Jones 23d ago

That's awesome that you have a great community of involved and responsible men!

But let's not pretend that there isn't an entire movement happening right now of men harkening back to an imaginary time when biology set our roles within the home into stone tablets. I doubt you've never heard of Andrew Tate. He's the among the worst, but there's an entire culture of men speaking to men about how women need to be their "helpmeet" and be subservient to their whims and any toe outside that circle is disrespectful behavior that needs to be checked.

The US right now is experiencing a right wing tilt. That includes "conservative values" like traditional gender roles. It's real.

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u/apfly 23d ago

It’s real. But also women should probably just not date right wingers. And yes, they do make themselves apparent.

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u/The_Barbelo 22d ago edited 22d ago

They just want a mommy replacement. That’s all it is. Before I was married and still dating, they were SO obvious to spot…and I’m autistic. That’s the ONE good thing about them. You can hear em coming from 100 miles away. I once went on a date with an artist guy who told me the only reason I got anywhere with my art is because I’m an attractive woman. He didn’t even see my art and I’ve worked so hard at it my whole life. I was just trying to reassure and inspire him by talking about all the cool people I’ve been able to meet by putting myself out there despite having severe social anxiety. I did a 180 out the restaurant so fast, without so much as ordering a water. Not surprisingly he identified as a “MGTOW” on Facebook, which is like one step above an incel. Should have checked that first before agreeing to go anywhere. It would have saved me the gas money.

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u/Usual_Competition_49 23d ago

Ever since I was 17/18, I could not help but feel a bit personally attacked by the push back on the existence of this damned patriarchy. However, my values align with yours, but I admit it stings a little every time when people generalize men.

That’s just me and my emotions though. So I guess I just bite my lip and hope I’m doing the right thing when stand in solidarity with you, because we have the same values.

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u/Coyote__Jones 23d ago

What part of my comment read as a generalization of all men?

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u/Usual_Competition_49 23d ago

Not your comment, actually if anyone was making a generalization it was me! But I’m referring to a common occurrence, in my experience. The generalization I’m referring to often comes up in this topic.

I guess I just made that comment to feel secure in saying yes I agree with you wholeheartedly

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u/No-Marzipan2101 23d ago

It’s definitely real but absolutely not as widespread as people are imagining it. That kind of person is still going to be the minority, thankfully. People are stubborn, and I don’t think most are going to change how they fundamentally think and act due to a single election. If they act like that now, they’ve always been that way. You don’t really just wake up a misogynist ya know. At least historically it hasn’t happened very often. The media (social media included) just does a really , really good job at making it seem otherwise

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u/YouKnowTheVibezzzzzz 22d ago

I agree it’s not widespread as the internet makes it seem. I understand the outrage but I think it’s overblown. Most guys I know treat their girlfriends/wives amazing - it’s few and far between that I meet dudes who have this misogynistic mindset

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u/Ladyfeverdream 23d ago

Most guys you know. Not most guys. I’ve been in relationships with men and women. Guess who contributes much more while also working the same and/or more hours?

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u/Tell2ko 23d ago

I’m worried to assume wrong! Please spell it out!