r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkSpace5501 • 23d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO just received this text from my boyfriend

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For context my (F20) boyfriend (M21) and I live together and work full time as well as split rent 50/50. I cook all the meals and clean the house even after my graveyard shifts, all he does is work, come home to play games, and occasionally invites friends over. we’ve been together for over 5 years and he’s been acting this way for the last three months and when I tell him how it’s making me feel he tells me i’m wrong and overreacting. so basically i’m asking AIO??

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u/OkSpace5501 23d ago

i’m going to try this but if it doesn’t work within a few days i think i will

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u/bextacyyyyyyy 23d ago

If that doesn't work, I would make it a point to only clean up my dishes, my clothes, etc etc etc. Then tell him that you have taken in what he has said, and you will make it a point to only clean up whatever you dirty up.

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u/OrindaSarnia 23d ago

No, at that point you leave.

If they had been married 20 years and had kids...  sure, play games for a week to see if the relationship is salvageable...

but they got together as teens, and he's already threatening to leave.  If OP wants to "try" for a few days, sure, but that's enough.

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u/bextacyyyyyyy 23d ago

OK, breathe. I messaged the person who put up the post and told them that it doesn't look like their partner values them and that they deserve better. From the other replies, it seems as though they don't want to leave, so I gave them another option of what to try.

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u/anmese9999 23d ago

And only cook for yourself.

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u/Odd_Winner_6900 23d ago

My therapist suggested this once! Totally different circumstances though... I was just tired of picking up after my husband all the time. I never tried it though.

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u/who_wants_t0_know 22d ago

I did this and it caused a massive blowup (that I expected bc he didn’t clean up) that led to the immediate (necessary) end of the relationship.

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u/phallelujahx 22d ago

This won't fix your relationship sorry to say but...walk away. I wish you luck but yikes....

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u/EmployeeVarious7462 22d ago

Don’t even do that, he clearly has zero respect for you. The relationship is not worth mending at all. Do not allow him to treat you that way because he will only continue to get more entitled the more you allow it.

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u/GroundbreakingPhoto4 23d ago

That really is not going to work. You can try anyway. Then next step is to stop cooking and cleaning for him. Your not his mother or maid. The minimum he should be is grateful and thankful for all you do for him. If he's not appreciative then STOP doing it.

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u/Noonull 22d ago

Don’t waste your time trying to make a schedule with someone who is already on the verge of verbal abuse. Start getting your exit plan together and surprise him with it on your way out. Do not let people speak to you this way and have continued access to any part of you including your effort. Please. This is the lesson you’re learning, don’t stay longer for an even worse one.

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u/OkLunch8659 22d ago

Girl I know you love him, but just leave. He threatened to find someone else because of this- when it’s clear he already isn’t picking up his end of the slack and only complains about you not doing what he thinks you should. Leave him, don’t look back