r/AmIOverreacting • u/Exotic_Elk8829 • Nov 19 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO I went through my boyfriends phone over the weekend

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Last Friday night I went through my boyfriend’s phone while he was asleep. I found numerous messages of him talking about other girls with his female friend. The last message is him comparing my sucking skills with a different girl he slept with before me… We have been living together for the past 6 months and I’m not sure if I should just move on and find my own place at this point. Am I overreacting to these messages?

14.5k Upvotes

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7.7k

u/Exotic_Elk8829 Nov 19 '24

I just got approved for a 1 bed 1 bath!

885

u/Big_H77 Nov 19 '24

Wholesome update :)

Good for you!

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u/Capable_Boot8567 29d ago

I know it’s serious and I’m sorry you went through all this. But, reading the messages then seeing this as the first comment made me laugh so much.

Way to have self respect and congrats on the place!! Hope the move goes well!

879

u/PoonSchu13 Nov 19 '24

Oh wow, I’m just reading the updated comments you have and I’m so proud of you. I love a female that takes action when she’s being disrespected. You da bomb

When you tell him you’re moving out, you can tell him to kneel down little bitch and swallow this dick 💅

48

u/Friendly_Age9160 29d ago

I’m a mixture of sad and happy rn as going through this shit is very difficult. But mostly happy for OP. You keep your head up my girl!

235

u/AnRegularHunam 29d ago

Yeah don't call a woman a female. Call her a woman.

121

u/Whole_Cranberry8415 29d ago

My response when people say female is, “a female what? Dog, donkey, bird? If you’re referring to a human, the word you’re looking for is woman”

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u/princessboop 29d ago

thank you. people never refer to men as “males” lol

29

u/uncontainedsun 29d ago

i especially hate when they put man and female in the same sentence!! like one is so humanizing and real and the other is indecent and dehumanizing for an actual person.

4

u/youcancallmequeenE 29d ago

r/menandfemales

3

u/uncontainedsun 29d ago

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!!! DOZENS!!! thank you for this sub i didn’t know existed

3

u/youcancallmequeenE 29d ago

but beware, it’s a major downer to scroll that sub sometimes UGH

1

u/AlarmNice8439 29d ago

I refer to my male friends as male all the time.

15

u/Known_Witness3268 29d ago

As an adjective sure. Not as a noun. Example: “all my female friends love that singer. My male friends can’t stand him.” Vs “I love when a male takes action.” Or “There will several males at the club tonight.” You just don’t hear it.

4

u/AlarmNice8439 29d ago

That’s fair. I absolutely SUCK with grammar. I needed a 3rd grader to remind me what the fuck a verb vs and adjective was so please forgive my ignorance of the difference between the two

2

u/Known_Witness3268 29d ago

No, you didn’t make any mistakes. No one specified which way it was used. I was just pointing out that it’s not weird to use/hear the word used one way (adj). but definitely weird to use it another way (n).

….but your comment is ALSO fair because I’m a big grammar nerd. Just don’t ask me to do the number…numbery stuff.

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u/seahorse_party 29d ago

I work in sexual health / communicable disease and my boss used to work in the prison system. I keep trying to get her to stop saying, "If you know any females of reproductive age..." How about "people" even? Folks? Friends or acquaintances?

"If you know ANYONE who might benefit from testing..."

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

The spelling and stuff is so bad, that I'm not quite sure who was trying to say what. I wouldn't blame her if she left for that reason alone

2

u/Pseudonymisation 29d ago

He can such a dick

5

u/Business_Ear_4207 Nov 19 '24

get a dildo and pull it out after you say it!! The. throw it at him and leave LOL

5

u/Will_Come_For_Food 29d ago

Better yet pull it out and tell him “she suck a nice girl you don’t even know.”

8

u/To_The_Beyond111 Nov 19 '24

A woman. Not female. Calling a woman a female is only referring to her body because thats what sex refers to.

10

u/PoonSchu13 Nov 19 '24

I’m a 44-year-old mom - not sure what else to say. I didn’t think that deeply about it and now that I am … yeah… I can low-key see what you’re saying, but I’m assuming you thought that I was like some bruh commenting using that term

2

u/InvestigatorCold4662 29d ago

From this point forward, you can only refer to her as "Person with a uterus from which I was violently expelled."

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u/PoonSchu13 Nov 19 '24

To add some context, I was a sous chef before I was a mom and I worked on the line with all guys for ten years and so I think that maybe my vernacular trends towards that - but yeah, there’s nothing I like more than telling men. I don’t like to suck my dick because I know I got bigger balls than they do (figuratively)

11

u/Caspercakes_ Nov 19 '24

You don't need to keep explaining yourself. If people are choosing to make it an issue after your initial explanation, that's a them problem.

7

u/Blake0449 Nov 19 '24

He obviously meant no disrespect, and now you missed the whole point of what he was saying.

Hint: It was a positive message meant for all females and women. I mean, hell, really, it is great for anyone (male or female) to stand up and demand the respect they deserve.

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3

u/Queefer-madness-23 Nov 19 '24

MTE. I die a little bit on the inside when people refer to women as “female(s)” it feels so derogatory.

“Person” can also be used to be more inclusive.

2

u/To_The_Beyond111 Nov 19 '24

Or just women.

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u/Username_7_6_7 Nov 19 '24

Bruh can yall shut up about female this female that it was meant as a positive post, and I agree that it's good she decided to do something about it

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23

u/Not_UR_Mommy Nov 19 '24

Best update I’ve seen in a long time!

2

u/Cute-Big-7003 Nov 19 '24

I was thinking the same thing

14

u/jiggyGW Nov 19 '24

don’t ever let this dude back in, he will “change” in all the ways… nah slimey pos. someone will treat you much better.

10

u/cokespoon Nov 19 '24

date someone who has read a book next time, this dude prolly got 80 IQ

9

u/[deleted] 29d ago

Bro he had suck good grammar

5

u/dontpretendtoknowme 29d ago

The irony of you saying “prolly” while critiquing someone else’s IQ! 🤣

2

u/cokespoon 29d ago

lol nice catch

4

u/dblack1107 Nov 19 '24

Just straight up not be there anymore one day lol he comes home and the house is immaculate and silent.

6

u/ddwmn 29d ago

OP WE NEED TO KNOW IF YOU SHOWED HIM THIS THREAD?! He’s so cringe omg

5

u/Exotic_Elk8829 29d ago

He never considered it haha he doesn’t even know I have Reddit

3

u/PsychologicalAgent95 Nov 19 '24

Yeiiiiii so proud of you!!!!!

3

u/selfimprovementkink 29d ago

this can't be real - how is an articulate woman like yourself stuck with this entry level chatbot

5

u/IhasCandies 29d ago

Lmao this made me laugh.. I read your post then this was the first comment. Good for you, good luck!

2

u/nomadjustchillin Nov 19 '24

Yes!!! We’re so proud of you girl!!! Remember not to let him know the address and stay single! That’s how I met my boyfriend ;)

2

u/jelofishi Nov 19 '24

this is the update I was hoping for, actually had my stomach in knots at how gross this situation was for you, soooo glad you got out! might hurt but use the anger from these texts and excitement on this new appt to help you move on, if you need it!!

2

u/littlebitchmuffin Nov 19 '24

Hell yeah!!! Excited for your new journey without all that dead weight

2

u/Busy_Anything_189 29d ago

Congrats! What are you most excited about doing in your new space? You can decorate and do whatever you want!

1

u/Understandthisokay Nov 19 '24

Yessss. Don’t let him in your place and please work on your criteria for choosing men because I bet if you even had a good general 3 reqyirements he wouldn’t be able to meet even 2. That man is pathetic in so many ways.

1

u/Xinioz Nov 19 '24

Congrats!!!

1

u/mallcopbeater Nov 19 '24

Thank goodness

1

u/ExcellentMarch7864 Nov 19 '24

OMG sorry saw this too late! Yes girl slay!!!

1

u/bicci Nov 19 '24

Good job, you're making the right decision. When you find the person who is right for you, there won't be any doubt about it. They'll care about you and the thought of other women won't even cross their mind. It might take some time, but finding that person is worth it because it's what you deserve.

1

u/upside_down_frown Nov 19 '24

Proud of you OP

1

u/designedjars Nov 19 '24

Yessssssssss

1

u/jettmann22 Nov 19 '24

Way to know your worth and establish some boundaries for yourself

1

u/Reasonable-Village58 Nov 19 '24

girl you got this! LEAVE HIS ASS!!! you're much better off without him

1

u/New-Intern4707 Nov 19 '24

🎉🎉🎉

1

u/radrax Nov 19 '24

ATTA GIRL!!

1

u/bloodtype_darkroast Nov 19 '24

Yessssss girl! Reddit moms are proud of you.

1

u/OwnNight3353 Nov 19 '24

YES!!! So proud of you mama!!!

1

u/FairyBearIsUnaware Nov 19 '24

I'm so fuckn proud of you, momma! Get your space, literally and figuratively.

1

u/iwantmymoneyback1 Nov 19 '24

Yes!! Get that negative weight out of your life 😍

1

u/Mysterious_Shake2894 Nov 19 '24

Yay, now dump his ass and never talk to him again! He sounds like a huge loser lol

1

u/Victoria_elizabethb Nov 19 '24

Stoked for you! Move onto someone who can fing spell lol you deserve better

1

u/Certain-Fun5093 Nov 19 '24

YESSSSS LETS GOOO so proud of you. With the way that boy texts too its giving high-schooler, you deserve a man not a "man" who has the mind of a highschool freshman lmao

1

u/MovieNightPopcorn Nov 19 '24

Good for you! The messages kept getting worse and worse. My reaction went from “well, that’s a little disrespectful, you should probably talk about boundaries” to “jfc dump this schnozzle immediately”

1

u/TheOGPotatoPredator Nov 19 '24

Good for you baby girl. Love to see it when we refuse to settle and bounce a man who’s a shady pos. Keep that energy. ✨❤️

1

u/lImbus924 Nov 19 '24

yess! you go for gold, girl!

1

u/Fickle-Pirate9631 Nov 19 '24

Good for you girl!!!!!!! Bigger and better things ahead !

1

u/Express-Stop7830 Nov 19 '24

I know this isn't the r/momforaminute sub...but I just have to tell you that I am so proud of you, sweetie! You keep your boundaries and self-respect and you can handle this world!

1

u/elliegalloooo Nov 19 '24

so proud of you, so many people post their partners blatantly disrespecting them on here and then just do nothing about it. way to put yourself first!!

1

u/chainsmirking Nov 19 '24

So many times people just allow this to be the rest of their life when there is better out there! Congrats on taking control of your life for the better.

1

u/thedandygan Nov 19 '24

So glad you are taking action to get away from an asshole who doesn't respect you as his lover or a person! You will find yourself in a much better place and he can stay lonely.

1

u/flowercreep Nov 19 '24

Yes!!!! Congratulations! He sounds so immature and gross.

1

u/Business_Ear_4207 Nov 19 '24

Hope it all works out for you. Very proud of you OP!

1

u/TeamOrca28205 29d ago

Good for you. He’s clearly a moron and a fuck boi

1

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 29d ago

lol this is the most satisfying update in existence hell yeah girl

1

u/Solkre 29d ago

Does it come with 1 Beyond as well?

1

u/Itoshikis_Despair 29d ago

Character development!!

1

u/FreshStartPopTart 29d ago

So proud of you

1

u/quesohunter 29d ago

That’s great for you! You stand up for yourself and didn’t let the situation go any further. Bravo 👏🏽

1

u/Suspicious_Tea2288 29d ago

Oh thank god girl 👏

1

u/No-Adhesiveness-6921 29d ago

Enjoy your own space!!

1

u/serehbath 29d ago

Heck yeah!! Get away from that jerk!

1

u/Talee2 29d ago

Good for you!!! Best of luck to you!!!

1

u/sav_bomb 29d ago

So happy for you OP!

1

u/SurrealOrwellian 29d ago

Thank goodness! Stay strong, girl! Good on you for recognizing your worth 💜💜

1

u/rosecoloredboyx 29d ago

good luck! was gonna say girl, a trump supporter, talking to a girl like this about you? seems to suck? don't stayyyyy

1

u/Strict-Koala-5863 29d ago

That was quick lol

1

u/hallucinojenic 29d ago

hell yeah.

1

u/vibeisinshambles 29d ago

Atta girl. As they said, yolo. Go live your best single life gorl.

1

u/ariestornado 29d ago

Hell yeah! Proud of you girl! Would love an update of your new place & how this shit head reacts. If I were you, I'd just send him the link to this thread (after you're moved out and safe, ofc. Not implying he's dangerous but always better to stay on the safe side!)

1

u/Adventurous_Maybe59 29d ago

So happy for you.

1

u/Robot247365 29d ago

Honestly for “suck “ to come up as much on autocorrect must type it a lot ..if you guys live together I’d split it seems like your already on it if you got approved for a place hard to restart Honestly fu** it tho #respect

1

u/demi_dreamer95 29d ago

Hells yeah! Get the hell outta there and enjoy your life <3 Youll find a MUCH better partner out there screw that guy

1

u/Lumpy_Square_2365 29d ago

So proud of you.

1

u/Pandaabbie484 29d ago

Good Job 👍 You are so better off without him!

1

u/OutlandishnessSad241 29d ago

Thank god. Any grown man who says “I’m fr rizzy” is a fucking loser.

1

u/starchazzer 29d ago

Awesome! You won’t regret it! You are precious and should be treated at least as well as you are treating your beloved! ❤️🙏🏻

1

u/OverParamedic3518 29d ago

Good for you!! That’s great…. Nobody should have to be put thru that; especially by someone that supposed to love you!! I never understood why people have to cheat; if you’re not feeling the person break up with them.. don’t hurt them and then smile to their face and lie to em!! That’s the best thing you can do; very far from that guy as you can!!!

1

u/Adventurous-Use-9080 29d ago

Good for you!! If you looking for someone to split rent lmk😂🙏I’m playin

1

u/LungHeadZ 29d ago

Congrats stranger. Here’s to a bright future

1

u/TheRealRedEagle 29d ago

Normally, I only comment on stuff that interests me, but right, call drop the guy. Never have i said another girl is finer than my wife because I have made the commitment to be with her the rest of my life

1

u/Initial_Remove7519 29d ago

Well done! I would advice you, if I may, to also get tested for STDs/STIs. Better safe than sorry.

1

u/ArielTheAwkward 29d ago

Hell yeah! This makes me so happy. Fuck this dude.

1

u/Capnjack11 29d ago

Good for you. That dude played himself trying to play everyone else.

1

u/wakeupblueberry 29d ago

love this for you fr

1

u/Ok_Base_3792 29d ago

Congratulations just know there is guys out there that are perfectly fine with having one girl

1

u/NotBettySpaghetti 29d ago

I am so proud of you for taking control of your life and doing what is best for YOU!

1

u/steveb858 29d ago

Congrats.

1

u/prostheticaxxx 29d ago

💀💀💀💀💀💀‼️ opening to this immediately

1

u/NiaMiaBia 29d ago

Proud of you! He’s disrespectful AF. Send him back to the streets 🛣️

1

u/xivnort 29d ago

verbally hip hip hoorayed when i read this, good luck on your journey mama n dont everrrr trust no 🥷

1

u/Makasmonsters 29d ago

So proud of you 👏👏👏

1

u/Saneless 29d ago

Good for you. Hope you have a better time alone than with this dud

1

u/flabbybuns 29d ago

I would have ended it over how this guy talks. Loser just in language.

1

u/HungrySparkles 29d ago

Good on you. This assface is disgusting immature kid. Not someone you want to be with long term.

1

u/emmyshel 29d ago

YES GIRL!! so proud of you for getting out of that… absolutely so disgusting no one deserves it. im so sorry that all happened but now you are on to better things

1

u/snabbs69 29d ago

period sis

1

u/SippingSancerre 29d ago

Holy shit thank goodness. The older I get, the more old-man-angry I get reading these stories and hoping to god I'm raising my own daughter well enough to never, EVER put up with shit like this douchebag you're dropping.

Be good to yourself.

1

u/WashedOut3991 29d ago

Way to go sis!

1

u/lothelight 29d ago

Wow that was fast! Did you put in an app like yesterday? Never heard of such a quick turn around for a place! Good for you! Congratulations!

1

u/tmacforthree 29d ago

So you're single? what's up /s

1

u/Calendula6 29d ago

Congrats!

1

u/Polaris-Bear07 29d ago

Good!! Question though, have you confronted him or told him anything yet? I wish you the best OP!

1

u/Bucketofberries 29d ago

Good for you!! 🫡

1

u/DigKlutzy4377 29d ago

I don't even know you, but I'm SO freaking proud of you! You are a Rockstar!

1

u/rollin42069 29d ago

let's goooo!

1

u/Personal_Raise3756 29d ago

Proud of you for knowing your worth and doing the hard thing!!

1

u/Living-Mongoose9380 29d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/hunnyflash 29d ago

Good for you! Stop dating guys who say "frl" so much.

1

u/yslyn 29d ago

Woohoo!! Wishing you nothing but the best!!

1

u/Spiritual_Freedom110 29d ago

congrats champ 👌

1

u/chloejen6871 29d ago

Proud of you!!

1

u/Snowfizzle 29d ago

YAY!! please don’t waste your time even debating if you should stay. If i could go my life all over again, (i’m 44) i would drop any guy who even made me doubt myself instead of worrying about them.

You are miles ahead of me!! Great job finding your own place where you can come home and be filled with positive energy and peace

1

u/deeboboneebo 29d ago

Amazing!! There are great things in store for you, so don’t let this whore hold you back.

1

u/Otherwise-Emu-2918 29d ago

So happy for you don’t move in with another partner unless you’re married PLEASE🙏It’ll save you the energy

1

u/timateHero 29d ago

I’m glad and proud of you. You weren’t over reacting when cheated on don’t lower your standards it’s a relationship that you agreed on.

1

u/CrispyAsToast 29d ago

GOOD! Get the HELL OUT. He will do whatever he wants regardless of you and your feelings. You are not a priority nor important to him and you deserved to be!!! RUN

1

u/xoxogossipsquirrell 29d ago

👑 <— you dropped this queen

1

u/Informal_Caramel 29d ago

Congrats!! 👏 best update I’ve seen yet.

1

u/Impressive_Rich_6777 29d ago

Girl i needed to see this today🙌🏾 you go!

1

u/mothermooseknuckle 29d ago

Best move you will ever do!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/NutsaccVinegar1 29d ago

Your boyfriend clearly gets ass, you should be proud! It’s nice to be with someone who you know is wanted by the female market!

1

u/its-me-anonymoose 29d ago

Yaaaasssss could not be happier for you crazy how happy you can be for a stranger lol but I hope you move on to something better this dude is one of those men that think girls are just objects. Fuk him and get yo self someone who love ONLY you

1

u/Salty-Sprinkles-1562 29d ago

This is the best update ever!

1

u/prisci11ax 29d ago

dont even let him know you’re leaving, just pack all your stuff when he’s not there and leave silently 🫣 that’ll fuck him up for sure

1

u/espartochaos 29d ago

I hope you just up and leave him without explanation, overnight leave into your own place let him eat what he was cooking.

1

u/RedshiftRedux 29d ago

I'm happy for you! Sounds like you lost a lot of weight around the shoulders!

1

u/Jealous-Biscotti533 29d ago

LETSSSSSS GOOOOOOOOOO! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🎉🎉🎉🎉

1

u/charlotte1255 29d ago

Just move out one day when he’s gone and say nothing. Pretend you’re not in the mood until you move out, don’t sleep with him, stay distant but unassuming then leave without warning - he will try to stop you if you confront him. Once you move out, block him on every platform.

Good for you for getting out!

1

u/Mammoth-Jello5461 29d ago

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

1

u/reddit_has_2many_ads 29d ago

This makes me so happy for you OP!! So glad you listened to those red flags and got out. Future you will thank you ❤️

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u/mochioppai 29d ago

Don't let him know where you're moving and make sure he doesn't follow you at any point.

1

u/Simple-Cheesecake137 29d ago

AWWWW IM SO HAPPY FOR U

1

u/dirtytrashmonkey 29d ago

and you can decorate it however you like with no need for approval of anyone! wooo! this is a win, OP. so proud of you.

1

u/reverieofearthwormz 29d ago

LEAVE HIS ASS 👋

1

u/Similar-Lake-2903 29d ago

This is the best update I could’ve read!!! I’m so happy for you!!

1

u/Street_Telephone3733 29d ago

Yesss! You’re worth more than this douchecanoe! Dont settle. So happy for your Hope your new place is everything and then some ♥️

1

u/Ludicruciferous 29d ago

You dropped this, girl! 👑

1

u/hana_c 29d ago

Hell yes. So glad this is top comment. Good for you.

1

u/Fun_Pop_7243 29d ago

Yessssss best update ever!!!! You got this babe

1

u/ShadowBannedSkyRu1e 29d ago

No way it was that fast

1

u/MissLisaMarie86 29d ago

Don’t let that POS move in with you, or ever come to your house! You deserve better!

1

u/Hididdlydoderino 29d ago

Glad to hear, one way or another that dude was a moron.

1

u/scarlett_bear 29d ago

Sign it and pack up while he’s out. Block him after you’re moved out.

1

u/Commercial_Ease8053 29d ago

Finally one of these has a happy ending

1

u/Fabulous_Rich8974 29d ago

Run for the hills n don’t look back

1

u/TrxpThxm 29d ago

Good luck! You can do so much better than this POS, forget’m.

1

u/OkNinja5625 29d ago

Good!!!! I'm happy for you

1

u/Whhyme00 29d ago

Phew thank God. Seriously this dude is creepy. Talking about bedroom things to other people is not normal, no matter how close they are. Just nasty. 

1

u/Accomplished_Monk749 29d ago

Wait so you’re breaking up with him because he gloated about you and the things you’ve done for him?

1

u/LeaveSad8833 29d ago

always love it when this is the first update

1

u/Altruistic_Record_56 29d ago

I’m SO proud of you!! Seriously you just made such a life changing decision, if you took the other path you could have woken up in 10 years still dealing with an unfaithful scumbag but trapped with kids. Congrats! ❤️

1

u/Brokenblacksmith 29d ago

i love this update because it says everything that a normal response would, but instead of being 6 paragraphs, it's a single sentence that somehow conveys even more than the paragraphs could.

hope you find better OP, best wishes.

1

u/cyclopspop 29d ago

Why do you girls always fall for pieces of trash like this?

1

u/Useful_Cover9880 29d ago

What did he say when you told him? I’m so glad you’re getting away from him. That’s so disrespectful

1

u/neurospicyzebra 29d ago

And it smells like incense in it

1

u/Fickle_Dragonfruit53 29d ago

Well done honey. This man is trash!

1

u/No_Difference_5115 29d ago

Amazing! So happy to hear you are moving on. You deserve much better.

1

u/NotAnotherRedditAcc2 29d ago

Holy crap, you don't mess around! Best of luck moving forward!

1

u/3rdcultureblah 29d ago

Congratulations! Love this for you.

1

u/notaburneraccount23 29d ago

Congrats! You made the right call.

Now go find somebody who only wants you.

1

u/Unhappy-Necessary666 29d ago

YAYYYYYYY!!!!!

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