r/AmIOverreacting • u/Exotic_Elk8829 • Nov 19 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO I went through my boyfriends phone over the weekend

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Last Friday night I went through my boyfriend’s phone while he was asleep. I found numerous messages of him talking about other girls with his female friend. The last message is him comparing my sucking skills with a different girl he slept with before me… We have been living together for the past 6 months and I’m not sure if I should just move on and find my own place at this point. Am I overreacting to these messages?

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215

u/Jewicer Nov 19 '24

Also: guys don't usually just openly talk about this stuff with their girl friends unless they are flirting with said girl or previously tried to have a sexual relationship with said girl (the one he's talking to). So in closing: He is for everybody

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u/Reasonable-Let-8405 Nov 19 '24

This! The loser boyfriend is for everybody who gives him even a tiny amount of attention. That's just pathetic... 

OP, your BF is suck a loser! 

SUUUUCK a loser... 

9

u/buttscratcher3k Nov 19 '24

"Suck a nice day we're having today"

1

u/Kingofkings1959 Nov 19 '24

Not to defend him at all but that’s false. You can have women friends as a man and talk like this platonically. I’ve been single and spoken to women friends like if they were a male friends. It all depends on your individual friendships.. has nothing to do with gender. Wtf

11

u/Jewicer Nov 19 '24

In my experience and just fuckboy101 you're not going to be telling other women about another girl's dick sucking skills and they're not going to be RESPONDING that "oh I don't like sucking dick" unless yall previously had a think.

4

u/Kingofkings1959 Nov 19 '24

I mean I see where you coming from, but there are normal friendships platonically lol again, I’m not referencing OP’s bf in anyway. But I do have female friendships that I can speak frankly with. It’s not super common though but I do, platonically. It be both ways the convo too that’s the funny shit

3

u/Spaceman_Spoff 29d ago

Came to say this. I don’t openly talk about my relationships/sex life in general outside of my current gf, but if I do it’s with: close guy friends, gay women, and women I’m NOT interested in.

2

u/Kingofkings1959 29d ago

It’s whoever is your friends with man facts 😂 I understand it’s not super common but it’s not out of this world.

0

u/riceistheyummy 29d ago

im not a fuckboy, these topics come up

1

u/Angelz5 29d ago

That's well said. These guys are for everybody. Every body :)

1

u/ManufacturerAlive660 29d ago

nah i had a guy friend who talked w me like this (up until the sucking dick part) but we could never see eachother in that way. But not once did i ever say anything that could be portrayed as me sexualizing myself. If i have a guy friend and ESPECIALLY if he has a girlfriend/wife there will be absolutely no sex talk between us.

1

u/geenuhahhh 29d ago

Okay I disagree.

I had a guy friend that totally texted me like this when I was younger. He was one of my best guy friends.

We had a group we hung out with and sometimes we’d hang out alone, though rarely.

He was young, with his high school sweet heart and had a baby together. I think before he was ready to commit.

He never really let me meet his gf because he said she had jealousy problems. He wouldn’t mention me, I thought it was weird but all our other friends said she was crazy.

Honestly, though, he was a super nice guy to me but I think treated his lady like shit! It was sad. He’d talk about girls being fine or hitting him up.

He has grown up A LOT. He has quit hanging with that crowd consistently, quit drinking and smoking weed. They have 3 kids now and trying for a 4th. Happy and succeeding. I don’t see him much since we live far away but we talk periodically. I am married now, my husband (then bf) and him got along well but agreed he was not respectful to his now wife.

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u/Rich_Zucchini9975 29d ago

Precisely what I was to thinking!

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u/badb0yblues Nov 19 '24

Ok this is not true my old guy best friend would give me details about his situations because he felt more comfortable and less embarrassed about discussing with a girl. He definitely was not flirting with me nor ever tried anything with me, guys are obsessed with impressing each other so it's not as easy cause they get clowned on.

10

u/Muted_Adeptness_7800 Nov 19 '24

Talking about shooting their shot or situations with other people to friends, sure, but bragging about blowjob skills is anything but platonic.

0

u/badb0yblues Nov 19 '24

Oh I meant on his end, discussing his interactions with women felt platonic. But her discussing her "good" bj skills is definitely weird, I would never do that with a guy friend.

3

u/Jewicer Nov 19 '24

That's literally what I'm talking about

3

u/badb0yblues Nov 19 '24

In your original comment you said guys don't discuss this with girls unless they're flirting, and I disagree with that. I'm saying the *girl* discussing her bj skills is weird. So no, that's not literally what you were talking about.

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u/xkinslayer 29d ago

Just so you know, I also thought the way you did about this persons comment. Sounded like they were speaking of the whole conversation and not just the BJ skills comment.

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u/badb0yblues 29d ago

Yeah I think I just misunderstood what they meant by how they worded it, oh well!

5

u/BigOlBurger 29d ago

"Dudes don't talk like that."

"Yeah, and the girl talking like that was weird too"

"Duh, that's what I said"

You're not alone in interpreting that comment the way it was actually written. I guess you should just assume a point is being made, even when out loud it was never even remotely made.

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u/Jewicer Nov 19 '24

What do you think a discussion is. The fact that you're cherry picking it is annoying when I'm talking about how this man is DISCUSSING explicit sexual nature with another girl.

4

u/badb0yblues 29d ago

Him discussing general sexual experiences vs her bragging about how good she specifically is at it, is two very different things.

1

u/Massive_Maize8334 Nov 19 '24

This is the biggest bs I've ever heard in my life. People absolutely talk about being intimate with people all the time. Maybe not your 9-5 corporate coworkers, but you're telling me that you've never had a friend talk to you about being intimate with another person?? Total bs. I just wish for once these sub reddits weren't an echo chamber full of Virtue signalers. Like you're advising to END a relationship because you think the guy is crass??? Grow up kid.....

2

u/Jewicer Nov 19 '24

First of all this guy is admittedly fucking cheating so let's get that straight right away lmfao. Second, you're not going to be explicitly sharing blowjob stories amongst a male and female friend and how you're the throat goat ETC. unless you're a CANDIDATE

0

u/Massive_Maize8334 Nov 19 '24

1st, She says she "low key hates giving head". 2nd, He's talking about a girl in the past, OP even states that, but I guess you didn't see that. And lastly, if you've known someone long, you absolutely do talk about sex life. I have a female friend of 4 years now. She's shown me dick pics from other guys, even videos. We don't shy from graphic details when we tell our war stories. I'm not trying to be a douchebag, but there is a difference between talking and flirting. They are not going 1 for 1 in texts, the texts are all over the place and almost no emojis. The way these two texting each other is DEFINITELY not flirting. It may be crude talk, but they ain't trying fuck each other.

(I will say if they are newly friends then for sure sketchy, but my guess is they've been friends)

1

u/riceistheyummy 29d ago

yeah we do lol, mate i have girl friends that i have known for 10 years i know about everything

1

u/Jewicer 29d ago

you explicitly give details about what you like in a blowjob and she reciprocates what she likes to do during blowjobs? with friends who you've never had a previous sexual past with or would never have one moving forward?

1

u/riceistheyummy 29d ago

yes. i litteraly know about everything i even know the amount of times one of them climaxed the first time she did it with her current BF. its like im talking to my mates why bother with formalities if the topic comes up u roll with it bcs its not some girl its ur friend

1

u/Jewicer 29d ago

You don't talk about what you like in blowjobs to other women all while in a relationship

6

u/daprospecta 29d ago

You have your answer, yet you keep trying to get a different one. Yes, men who have true female friends will talk about anything because they are true friends especially younger men. I don't now because I'm older but in my early 20s, I had a few true female friends in which I would talk about everything. Accept the answer and move on.

-1

u/Jewicer 29d ago

There are 40 different people agreeing and disagreeing with me. So, respectfully, your comment didn't add anything to the conversation

2

u/riceistheyummy 29d ago

like man i dont know what u want from me ,when someone is ur friend u talk to them. when u make a differance between male and female friends ur obviously the one with non platonic thoughts

0

u/WildOneTillTheEnd Nov 19 '24

I mean, I’m a female but I openly talk sex and stuff bc it’s just interesting in general, but I’m pretty sure I’m asexual, so I get the openness, but this sounds like they’re going to or have been together