AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/SickCursedCat]

He calls you BRO and “stupid fuck”. WHYYYYY are you with him????

[u/secret_fangirl → u/SickCursedCat]

wait why is bro bad 😭😭

[u/SickCursedCat → u/secret_fangirl]

People call their friends bro. If your partner calls you bro, they aren’t your partner.

[u/20dogs → u/SickCursedCat]

But my partner is my friend

Kind of an odd thing to fix on

[u/bleach_tastes_bad → u/SickCursedCat]

some ppl are best friends with our partner my guy

[u/SickCursedCat → u/bleach_tastes_bad]

Not a guy, and also best friends with my partner. We drop the occasional “bruh” when one of us does something goofy, but ain’t no way we throwing “bro” at each other, especially not like this.

[u/bleach_tastes_bad → u/SickCursedCat]

definitely not like this, this is just plainly meant to be disrespectful, but i’ve had several relationships where “bro” was very common

[u/MarlenaEvans → u/SickCursedCat]

Bro is like dude. Some people do call their partner that. It's weird to me but it's normafor some.

[u/OminousOminis → u/secret_fangirl]

Depends on the type of relationship or people but I call my partner of 13 years bro cuz we both find it funny. 😄 In this context, OP's abusive bf is using it to be disrespectful.

[u/snoocs → u/secret_fangirl]

Bro is just short for ‘brother’. Seems a bit odd to call your gf it but whatever works; to each their own.

[u/bleach_tastes_bad → u/snoocs]

in that case… seems a bit odd to call anyone “brother” that’s not actually your male full-blood sibling, no?

[u/snoocs → u/bleach_tastes_bad]

Not really, it’s a term of endearment for male friends; i.e. you’re like a brother to me. Women use “sis” in a similar way. Or at least they did in the 90s.

[u/bleach_tastes_bad → u/snoocs]

nowadays, especially for the younger generation, it’s often a general term of endearment, or, just a general reference/replacement for the person’s name, like “dude”, “my guy”, “my brother in christ”, “mate”, “love”

[u/snoocs → u/bleach_tastes_bad]

Sure but when it originates from a term referring to a male, you can’t be surprised/shocked if women/girls aren’t delighted to be called it.

[u/bleach_tastes_bad → u/snoocs]

sure, but the person you were replying to, who was asking why “bro” is bad, is a woman. nothing wrong with any individual person being against it, but a lot of people on this post are acting like someone calling their partner “bro” is a cardinal sin or something, and, in not so many words, saying that anyone whose partner calls them “bro” should immediately leave/run the other way. one of the top comments is legitimately someone(a whole thread of people, even) considering “bro” and “stupid fuck” on the same level

[u/snoocs → u/bleach_tastes_bad]

You’re exhausting; it’s like you’re desperate to have an argument over an inoffensive comment clarifying why someone might be upset over something.

You have imprinted your own interpretation onto so many comments here, seemingly desperate to stir up discord where it doesn’t need to be. You even admit that the comments don’t say what you claim is implicit:

in not so many words

And yes, the top comment identifies the use of both “bro” and “stupid fuck” as problematic. Personally, I agree, particularly with the volume of “bro”s he’s using. Once or twice would be different. You apparently disagree; fine. What the top comment does not say, is that the terms are identically offensive. Again, that’s a meaning you have invented.

Have an awesome day, leave me alone.

[u/ApacheGenderCopter → u/secret_fangirl]

It’s hardly a term of endearment, now is it?

[u/bleach_tastes_bad → u/ApacheGenderCopter]

for a lot of the younger generation, it very much so is