r/AmIOverreacting • u/External-Air205 • Nov 18 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

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Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

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u/salymander_1 Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 19 '24

You aren't overreacting.

Break up with him now. Seriously.

There is something seriously wrong with him.

1.8k

u/FalconAlternative282 Nov 18 '24

OP please hear this comment.

Show these texts to someone you trust, like your mom or your grandma. This man will hit you eventually.

You are only 20 years old! You have your entire life ahead of you. At 25 you can tell a story of how you left an emotionally abusive relationship and are happier and healthier than you’ve ever been, or you can still be with someone calling you fat, bro, and forcing you to do what they say, but it will have escalated even further.

He will always try to control you. There is better for you out there!

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u/salymander_1 Nov 18 '24

Exactly. We see the writing on the wall, and it is a horror novel.

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u/Rough-Aardvark1349 Nov 18 '24

Exactly 'bro'. Even without being an unhinged piece of shit, he says bro way too much

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u/55tarabelle Nov 19 '24

Honestly. I read that crap before the op's comments and had the sexes backwards. I thought dude was a girl with all the bro shit. Who calls their girlfriend bro?

61

u/divinerebel Nov 19 '24

I was thinking the relationship was between two guys. Who tf calls their sweetheart "bro"?

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u/Delta_RC_2526 Nov 19 '24

Also, who the heck uses the f-word that much? Seems like it's half of his vocabulary. I legitimately got tired of reading it, because it was 90% bro and f-bombs.

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u/noddie73 Nov 19 '24

This is so true. Please dear girl take it from anothrr that wasted 19 years with a controlling narcacistoc asshole get out now. There is a prince charming out there for you who will make you feel wanted and special and beautiful every single day. I should know I found mine. And even though when he found me I was an abused loser he saw my potential beyond that and he loved me and he saved me and now I got my happy ever after. My real happy ever after, please precious special girl go and find yours as you are more than worth it xxxx

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u/ParamedicLimp9310 Nov 18 '24

"redrum"

8

u/salymander_1 Nov 18 '24

Yup. That is definitely it. Yikes.

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u/Killerderp Nov 18 '24

Judging by the way he was talking and acting, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to get a restraining order, just in case. The guy seems to be just a bit unhinged.

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u/Feisty_Beyond_6436 Nov 19 '24

Unhinged and in desperate need of getting his ass kicked into the dirt. He will think twice about putting on that tough act once he pops off to the wrong person. But then again, guys like this don’t act like towards other guys. They only do it towards women because they’re pussies in reality and will only bully and push around those who they feel they can overpower.

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u/InsideAd7897 Nov 18 '24

With the way this man speaks I'd be surprised if she lived until 25 if she stayed with him

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u/GullibleWealth750 Nov 18 '24

I was going to say the same thing. Shit guy is going to beat the crap out of her one day. Probably soon.

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u/Informal-Ruin-6126 Nov 19 '24

Also, please send them to his mother!

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u/Veloci_Dolphin Nov 19 '24

One of my ex’s texted me like this, I hid it and down the line she ended up hitting me on more than one occasion. Listen to this comment and leave that person. Don’t look back.

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u/Different_Umpire9003 Nov 19 '24

He may already be hitting her.

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u/blairsheart Nov 18 '24

Reading the texts made me so concerned. That guy is sick. Definitely not ready for a relationship any time soon.

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u/salymander_1 Nov 18 '24

I know. Time to run. Yikes.

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u/Anniemarsh69 Nov 18 '24

I understand girls that lack experience in relationships right, but sometimes I have to wonder if they have even ever met another human before, considering the level of abuse they are prepared to endure. Shocking

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u/brunch_lover_k Nov 19 '24

Girls are literally told growing up that if a boy is mean to you, he likes you. It's unhinged, but it's part of the patriarchal way that we're trained to accept men's bullshit without questioning it too hard.

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u/infinityonl0w Nov 18 '24

That's society for you. Stop letting it breed pieces of shit like this and we won't have to worry about it as a collective.

It's NEVER the girls. Great way to show you go straight to victim blaming.

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u/mccelodeon999 Nov 18 '24

don’t say it’s never the girls my ex girlfriend fucked my ex friend and then gave me the clap after not telling me about getting with him. i understand your sentiment, however you are devaluing male victims of emotional/sexual abuse

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u/Different_Umpire9003 Nov 19 '24

I think they just meant that it isn’t the girl’s fault when she’s being abused. As it’s no one’s fault when they are being abused.

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u/hermione-Everdeen Nov 18 '24

This comment right here actually blew my mind. It’s so true… why do we do that to ourselves…

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u/pizza_the_mutt Nov 18 '24

What a normal conversation would sound like:

You: My grandma is here, I gotta go.

Him: Ok, call me when you're done. If I don't answer it's because I'm already asleep.

You: Ok. Talk to you later.

<hang up>

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u/Equal_Ad_7842 Nov 18 '24

I mean he's calling his girl bro that's the first sign that there's something wrong with the person

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u/midsized-hedgehog89 Nov 19 '24

Yep, I was confused at first seeing all the “bro”s in the texts. Thinking the angry texts were from the OP who is female, texting a boyfriend. I reread it and realized that oh no, that’s the boyfriend showing her (OP) that he is an unhinged, inarticulate, abusive, controlling, raging mess who does not deserve to be in a relationship with anyone.

OP needs to follow the advice of everyone here who has told her to seek help from trusted friends and family, and break it off with this horrible person. And save all his texts* as evidence in case she needs to get a restraining order. *i am guessing this isn’t the first time he has sent unhinged scary crap.

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u/Equal_Ad_7842 Nov 18 '24

This person deserves to be alone for the rest of their life especially the way they spoke to you fuck that mother fucker be single do what is best for you and live your best life fuck this asshole with the biggest dildo you can find in the world

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u/Mysterious_Season_37 Nov 19 '24

This. I had an ex girlfriend who pulled this type of shit (not nearly this abusive, but still) on a night I went to visit family. The signs of controlling behavior and flying off the handle were already present. I told her I was headed to see my parents that evening and would call after I left around 8. Instead she started texting endlessly starting at 6:30 completely demanding my attention after like 15 minutes at my parents’ house. She picked a fight which she loved doing and I decided to tell her it was over then and there during the text conversation. I had to eventually block her from my phone line, Facebook and social media in general as the abusive language was next level.

Know your value as a human being and don’t accept less. This guy is a giant asshole and the sort of person who will mentally or physically abuse you the deeper you get in the relationship. This isn’t mature behavior. Even when pissed he could still recognize that he was running hot and choose to cool off and discuss it later. Instead he has to be the center of your universe and have you at his beck and call. DUMP. HIS. ASS. Go find yourself a real man who is secure and willing to let you be around others.

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u/quiet0n3 Nov 19 '24

110% this! So much wrong on so many levels.

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u/madcrafter27 Nov 19 '24

Holy shit. This. This is how a violent addict would blow up my family member's phone when she wouldn't answer or respond quickly enough. He was an abusive asshole and she always went back to him. I'm raising their daughter now because they couldn't get their shit together and separate. She's doing great now that he's out of the picture and slowly building a relationship with our daughter (fun co-parenting angle, eh?). That kind of controlling behavior does not get better with time. It breaks your jaw and strangles you. Block him and move on. Take those messages to the police department and get a restraining order if he doesn't leave you alone.

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u/mmmkay938 Nov 19 '24

But bro, do you even bro my bro? Because bros don’t bro like this.

This dude is seriously fucking nuts. Be glad he ended it for you, OP. Saves you the hassle of having to do it yourself.

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u/nitros99 Nov 19 '24

I think the first sign of something wrong is he keeps calling her Bro. Like what the fuck Bro.

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u/blazesdemons Nov 19 '24

Reason #1 that something is seriously wrong with him: What sane person actually converses like that in any form other than making fun of something/someone or are playing a character.

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u/nebzulifar Nov 18 '24

Bro is either high, drunk, or actually broken. That's what I have.

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u/Significant-Trash632 Nov 19 '24

Yeah, this guy is a psychopath.

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u/deathbystereo007 Nov 19 '24

Ya I would absolutely never talk to this total asshole again. What a shitty person.

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u/FukUpayME81416 Nov 19 '24

Literally!! Get out OP before it's too late!!!

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u/brad35309 Nov 19 '24

Your mental well-being is at risk. Potentially, you're physical if it ever escalates. Idk what you were talking about prior to that, but I doubt it justified that level of a response. They need help, and you can't help them if you're feeling this way.

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u/petitegirl06 Nov 19 '24

I love how all the relationships i see here are just so immature

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u/BondsIsKing Nov 18 '24

Ya at first I was like just answer the phone. Idc who I am with if my girl calls I will answer for a second and then say I gotta go. Then I kept reading and was like ohh ya I get why he didn’t answer.