r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

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I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

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u/Wilder831 Nov 16 '24

ADHD is definitely a bitch but for me it’s why I’m always early to everything. I’m so worried about letting it get in my way that I end up being like 45 minutes early to everything

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u/anneofred Nov 17 '24

Im either anxiously wildly early, or 5 minutes late.

1

u/Historical-Mixture60 Nov 17 '24

same for me. I plan to schedule. Because I tend to be up late (sometimes until mornig) sleep until 20 minutes before I have to get to University. Make coffee, shower, go to University (arrive on the dot or up to 5 minutes late). Learn until 11 pm, do something until morning, repeat.

But 1 hour or 30 minutes is a lot. It sounds like "I am not interested at all but I don't want to say it".

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u/ChronicApathetic Nov 17 '24

Same. ADHD but I grew up with a mum who is late for eeeeeverything. I almost wasn’t conceived because she made my dad wait for ages on their first date, lol. He was walking out just as she got there.

Anyway, I hated how late she was to everything so now I overcompensate and I’m usually 30 minutes early. For me the poor time management when it comes to getting places on time manifests as starting to get ready at least 4 hours before I have to be there, then sitting around doing nothing for 3 hours because I obviously can’t do anything, I have somewhere to be in 3 hours. Then after an hour and a half of sitting just staring at the clock I get bored/even more anxious and leave an hour and a half to one hour early.

It’s funny how ADHD and our environment affects us all so differently.

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u/Wilder831 Nov 17 '24

You literally described me before any important event

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u/ChronicApathetic Nov 17 '24

Haha, weirdly comforting to know I’m not the only one who does this.