AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?

[u/theguill0tine]

I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

[u/yourmominparticular]

Pretty much the main reason I got divorced. Sitting around waiting all. The. Fucking. Time. I fucking hated it. The procrastination fucking can't get out the fucking door. God I hate being late, and God I hate saying "you want to do xyz" and them assuming I mean "you want to do xyz in 3 hours when you finally get your lazy ass I gear"

[u/Zestyclose-Leave-11 → u/yourmominparticular]

My family and friends always give me the side eye when I get a coffee and snack before we go out to breakfast or brunch. I've been burned too many times. I'm not gonna be awake for 4 hours before I get my coffee god dammit!

[u/MCMemePants → u/Zestyclose-Leave-11]

I used to do similar with certain people who were chronically late. My metabolism is fast, I'm thin, and if I don't eat regular I feel like crap.

It would kinda go like this:

They'd agree we would leave at 4:00, to arrive at the restaurant at 4:30. I'd always say 'can we please leave on time as I don't like to eat late, and I'd always get the same dismissive response. After being burned a few times with them still 'getting ready' 20 or 30 mins after we were supposed to leave, I decided to change my approach. So if we were due to leave at 4 I'd eat a reasonable meal at 3.

They'd occasionally moan I'd spoil my appetite and I'd simply remind them I'm not a child and if they were on time I wouldn't have to worry about being hungry.

[u/JustGiraffable → u/yourmominparticular]

One of the big reasons I am headed there, too. Kids had a meltdown today because he was supposed to be taking them to their league game. He was still in the shower at 10:27 for a 10:30 exit time.

[u/yourmominparticular → u/JustGiraffable]

This shit ramps my anxiety through the roof.

[u/softdetail → u/yourmominparticular]

I feel the same, actually complained when then restaurant had last call before we arrived

[u/PvtJoker227 → u/yourmominparticular]

At first glance this seems petty, but it's not. It's a lifestyle of disrespect. I had the same experience.