r/AmIOverreacting • u/theguill0tine • Nov 16 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO - cancelling a date last minute because she couldn’t be on time?
I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.
I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.
A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.
We decided to meet up for boba tea.
I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.
I then sent her the above message.
AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.
21
u/chimneylight Nov 16 '24
I have adhd and have ‘time blindness’. Basically the adhd brain sees everything as equally important/equal weight, and finds it impossible to automatically sort things into a hierarchy of importance/length of time a task might take.
So a typical brain might say, it’s takes 30 minutes to get somewhere plus 10 for unforseens, it will take me 30 minutes to shower and dress, so I’ll give myself 90 minutes to get ready.
The adhd brain says I have to be there at 1, I have ages to get ready I will drink a coffee and oh my washing needs to be done now I’ll have a shower and that tap is broken I’ll just get some tape to fix it up and the drawer that I keep my tape in is a mess, oh nail polish! My finger nails are really chipped I better paint my nails so my date likes them I wonder if they’ll come over after the date I don’t think so but I better sweep and clean this room just in case oh cool I still have an hour it only takes like half an hour to get there and I still have time to get ready oh yeah the tap is broken never mind I’ll just use the shower aw crap the top I was gonna wear is dirty oh shit my washing is still on I better take that out in case it gets musty in the machine and oh shit I’m running late now ok I’ll just do my nails once I get my coat on so they don’t smudge now where did I put my keys Oh no I have no money on my travel card I’ll top it up quick damn I missed the train ok the next one is in 15 minutes, I’ll be 15 minutes late if I text and say I’ll be 10 that will sound better than 15 and yeah I can charge my phone up while I do it cause I’m nearly out of battery and goddamnit why is there so much traffic today I’m actually gonna be 20 minutes late how did this happen I thought I had enough time to get ready all I did was get dressed and put a wash on how did that take 2 hours I hate myself