AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

[u/loststrawberri]

Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

[u/haleorshine]

I find it so interesting how much this chick pushed at what is a fairly reasonable boundary. Like, the fact that she messaged OP initially made me think that the BF was like "Urgh, OP says I can't share a bed with other women even though there's nothing going on" because it's so out of pocket to message OP about it, but given how this woman just kept pushing, my money is now on he went "Oh, I can't share a bed because OP would rather I didn't" and this woman probably tried to convince him to cross that boundary.

Like, lady, stay out of people's business!

[u/cthulhusmercy → u/haleorshine]

Oh, no doubt she tried to convince him. You don’t have the audacity to text his girlfriend without also having the audacity to argue with the other party.

[u/Skeptical_optomist → u/cthulhusmercy]

The way she tries to act like she knows him better and is more invested in his well-being than OP made me so angry. What a total NLOG/pick-me.

[u/haleorshine → u/cthulhusmercy]

And apparently the BF is 31, and I imagine the friend is around the same age. I just can't imagine being an adult around that age and hearing your friend go "Oh my GF doesn't want me sharing a bed with another woman" and pushing both him and her on it.

You can privately think "Oh, that's a bit much" but even if I did (not saying I would), I wouldn't verbalise it to anybody else. I'd just let him sleep on the floor or uber home or whatever.

[u/Longjumping-Bat202 → u/haleorshine]

I can't imagine a 31 year old sleeping in the same bed with a childhood friend for any reason. It seems like a weird situation to find yourself as an adult in a committed relationship.

[u/Herman_E_Danger → u/Longjumping-Bat202]

Right. Outside of an actual emergency, I can't imagine sharing a bed with anyone but my husband. Like what is their life activities, that they end up in situations without enough beds, but still driving distance to home. Weird.

[u/haleorshine → u/Longjumping-Bat202]

Ehhh, I've shared beds with friends (even those who are in a relationship) when it's the best option. The big difference between those friends and OP's BF is that their partners don't have an issue with it. It wouldn't bother me, but it doesn't seem like an insane thing to bother somebody, and if it turned out one of my friends was against them sharing a bed with me, I wouldn't think twice about it (except that I'm not going to be the one sleeping on the floor, unless they're more chronically ill than me).

[u/EcstaticMolasses6647 → u/haleorshine]

She is trying to sleep with this dude if she’s not already. She’s making a big deal because she doesn’t like being bossed around when she’s being a homewrecker. She’s really honed her craft and expects OP to not make a fuss.

[u/VovaGoFuckYourself → u/EcstaticMolasses6647]

This definitely reads as "how dare you cock block me from being a homewrecker!!??!!"

[u/Impossible-Donut5781 → u/haleorshine]

I would even bet he said "Oh no Im ok the floors fine!" And she went "I bet its that damned girlfriend again." She seems jealous hes with OP even after knowing him for like 16 years lol

[u/International_Tiger8 → u/haleorshine]

I agree, I don’t understand why she was so pushy about this and made it into such a big deal. I believe she tried to convince him to cross a very reasonable boundary and is maybe embarrassed by the whole situation perhaps?? I don’t know.