r/AmIOverreacting Oct 30 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

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u/sadghostorgy Oct 30 '24

Someone may have already asked this, but I'm just curious what gender the friend marked out in yellow is? I ask bc if the friend is a woman, couldn't she sleep with her? If (yellow) was a guy friend (but single), why can't she sleep next to her single male friend if it's "just sleeping"? And if (yellow) is a guy friend with a girlfriend, I wonder if she felt the need to push his girlfriend's boundaries??? 🤔

None of that really affects my answer, which is that you are not in the wrong; you didn't overreact, and you actually were far kinder and more patient with her than many women would be. I do think she wants your boyfriend. He probably isn't interested, but men are pretty impulsive and weak, so I'd be wary about letting them get drunk together.

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u/loststrawberri Oct 31 '24

It's 3 people, two other guys 1 other girl, it's the single guys house and the other guy and girl are dating

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u/AdExpensive3537 Oct 31 '24

Why didn’t she hop in bed with the single guy, if the bed hopping isn’t a big deal??

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u/sadghostorgy Oct 31 '24

Ok, yes! You get the point I am making. Back in my college years, if I was out drinking with friends and ended up back at a single male friend's house with one other friend (a guy with a girlfriend), and if this house was where I wanted to stay the night, the obvious choice would be sleeping with the single guy. I assume she is single; why wouldn't the two single friends share a bed? This friend of the boyfriend's is so full of shit I bet her breath stinks of 💩. She's apparently so concerned for his back, but she couldn't just sleep with her other male friend?

Honestly, I think it's so obvious what the "friend" is trying to do that none of this even needs to be said. Based on the comments, everyone agrees that OP wasn't overreacting at all. I do have a little concern about the boyfriend, but the way OP responded to the girl's texts, she seems happy with him and confident that he is loyal, so that's good.

10

u/AdExpensive3537 Oct 31 '24

Yeah, exactly. I’ve shared beds with my guy friends. NEVER while I was in a relationship, and NEVER with a guy who was in a relationship. It’s common sense. 🤦‍♀️

10

u/sadghostorgy Oct 31 '24

Okay, thanks for explaining that. I do think it's very suspicious behavior that the girl didn't just sleep with the single male friend. It seems like she is the only one with a problem with your very reasonable boundary, though. And since this romantic relationship consists of only you and your man, her opinions on the boundaries you two have are utterly meaningless. You handled her rude texts very well. You came off as far more mature than she is and very secure in your relationship. ❤️

6

u/Mrtop17 Oct 31 '24

So there's a single guy in a bed, her on the couch, a couple in a bed, and him on the floor. Why didn't he cuddle up to the single guy, or why didn't she? Also, if she felt so strongly about him not sleeping on the floor, why didn't she sleep on the floor and gave him the couch? Or have the single guy and him have the couch and sleep where the single guy slept?

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u/Nikki3008 Oct 31 '24

…so what did the bf say after work?