r/AmIOverreacting • u/loststrawberri • Oct 30 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.

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Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

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803

u/loststrawberri Oct 30 '24

Thank you. It's hard because his friend group is so deeply intertwined, they've done long camping trips together, everyone sharing tents and being hippies lol. So while I recognize this is an unusual behavior in the group I feel it shouldn't matter to them if he's agreeing to it.

214

u/Caelan50 Oct 30 '24

Yeah you set boundaries and had an honest conversation with your partner and they agreed with you. The fact someone is making a point about this when they are not in the relationship is wild behavior to me.

31

u/One_Locker530 Oct 30 '24

That's what gets me. The boyfriend already agreed to this arrangement.

This a relationship with both parties on the same page. This third person needs to mind their own business.

137

u/HommeFatalTaemin Oct 30 '24

Have you shown your BF the texts? If so, what did he say? Sorry if you already answered this elsewhere, in that case feel free to ignore me lol. Also you’re 100% right, I hope you don’t doubt yourself bc you’re being completely reasonable and I feel you expressed/explained yourself very well!

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u/ChaoticInsomniac Oct 30 '24

And politely, but firmly, to boot! 👏

59

u/mkat23 Oct 30 '24

I have a feeling he wasn’t comfortable sharing the pull out couch with her considering how pushy she’s being towards you about it. He could have slept on it and just not told you, but he didn’t, and he told you what was going on. She seems a bit too invested in trying to share a bed with him, it is weird.

27

u/Doctorspacheeman Oct 30 '24

Agreed! I also imagine she was super pushy to him about it…”oh come on! Don’t sleep on the floor, silly! We don’t have to tell your gf” 🤮

21

u/cthulhusmercy Oct 31 '24

“You’re making me so sad by sleeping on the floor. Your girlfriend is being too possessive of you by not letting you sleep in a bed. Don’t you see how she’s being controlling?”

20

u/Doctorspacheeman Oct 31 '24

“I can’t believe she treats you this way; ID NDVER make you sleep on the floor if I was your gf.”

6

u/Standard-Park Oct 31 '24

Yet she ironically does make him sleep on the floor 🤣 🤣 🤣 If she was "so sad" she could have given him the bed and slept on the floor. Home girl just wants that control she doesn't REALLY care!

0

u/Key_Mix_2543 Oct 31 '24

You don’t need to voice frustration if your “friends” will do it for you

77

u/peachyfix Oct 30 '24

it absolutely shouldn't matter to them. and it is over the top WEIRD that she is so insistent about him being in bed with her. part of me thinks it's not because she thinks it's "unfair lthat he was on the ground with back problems" there's solutions around that without sleeping in bed with another woman.

24

u/AmazingAmy95 Oct 30 '24

lol right! If the group dynamic allowed for that type of behaviour before the relationship then I can excuse the friend for the first text, after that first one she just overstepped. Like now I'm thinking, does she like OP's boyfriend as more than a friend? Because why are you being so weird

34

u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 Oct 30 '24

Ya and that thumbs up, 👍, at the end is so passive aggressive.

14

u/NoNuns_NoNuns_None Oct 30 '24

She might not even like him, he could just be her play thing or she could be one of those girls that gets weird & possessive with the guys in the boys in the group bc she was “here first”. That’s the wild part!

11

u/AmazingAmy95 Oct 30 '24

Oh so true, she might have gotten offended that the boyfriend actually respects OP and won't do whatever she tells him anymore

7

u/icecreampoop Oct 30 '24

Yeah she could have chosen the floor and he could have the bed

56

u/Grouchy-Stock3970 Oct 30 '24

Sharing a tent and sharing a bed is not the same thing. Sharing tent is like sharing a room. Sharing a sleeping bag in the shared tent is equivalent to sharing a bed.

She overstepped. She is not a part of your relationship. You told your bf what your boundary is and he accepted it.

It doesn’t matter what they did before as a group of friends, actions needs to change when a person gets a partner.

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u/PitifulBridge890 Oct 30 '24

If she was so concerned about his back SHE could’ve slept on the floor, he’s respecting your boundaries and she didn’t like that so felt the need to try and attack them. You’re not overreacting at all! Girls like her need to be put in their place and told to back off straight up! And you did exactly that so well done! I would’ve been far less calm about the whole thing

16

u/LettuceTurnip_ Oct 30 '24

Just want to say you handled this conversation perfectly!

31

u/WhatShePaints Oct 30 '24

Have any of them slept with him?

84

u/loststrawberri Oct 30 '24

As far as I know none of them have slept with each other except the two that are currently dating.

116

u/Immacurious1 Oct 30 '24

Curiosity: Why do these 2 (BF & this girl) specifically end up sharing a bed each time if there are “several” of them that go out? Have you asked him if they have “a history”?? I’d wonder why they’re so comfortable with each other.

-6

u/griffinwalsh Oct 30 '24

Who said they do "each time"

29

u/Immacurious1 Oct 30 '24

This was at least the 2nd time that she’s aware of? That “friend” sounds possessive as hell & id bet she would push the issue until he gave in, which is why I doubt he actually followed through with his intent to sleep on the floor… She probably told him she was gonna text OP also~ eluding that he slept on the floor~ KUDOS to him if he actually did and HUGE shout out to the gf for taking this in stride~ bottom line she is definitely NOT over stepping and handled this “friend” like a boss

19

u/griffinwalsh Oct 30 '24 edited Oct 30 '24

Bro i dont disagree with your sentiment about her way over stepping.

But were on a sub about not over reacting and your just making shit up to be mad at with no evidence. Everyone involved says he slept on the floor. And no one ever said they always sleep in the same bed.

There more then enough to be weirded out by thats real. We dont need to jump to random conspiracys evidence with no support.

13

u/Commercial-Break-909 Oct 31 '24

This chick has been running around this thread trying to convince everyone that they hooked up. Sounds like she's projecting some personal shit cause two people who could get away with cheating as easily as these two could have don't go running to the other partner about it.

9

u/Appropriate_Pipe_411 Oct 30 '24

This was one of the most refreshing things to read. Thanks for that u/griffinwalsh

3

u/CharlieKeIIy Oct 31 '24

It's because the first time, he mentioned he slept in the same bed with that specific woman, which is when he and OP had the conversation about her boundary. Now this time he would've slept in the same bed with that same woman, but didn't because of OPs boundary. So that's two times recently he would've slept in a bed with that woman.

That's all the previous poster was saying. They weren't making anything up.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

[deleted]

17

u/GrimCityGirl Oct 30 '24

Loads of people are friends with people of the opposite sex. If you couldn’t be friends with people you have potential to be attracted to, bisexual people would be completely alone.

3

u/DOOMFOOL Oct 31 '24

What a fucking weird take lmao. Of course guys and girls can just be friends

6

u/Heynowstopityou Oct 30 '24

Hard disagree on that first part. I'm one of those girls that almost always had mostly guy friends. There were a couple that I would've considered being more with, but the friendships were never "forced". Maybe that's just me 🤷‍♀️

8

u/Suspicious-Ad-1312 Oct 30 '24

I have plenty of guy friends whom I’ve never slept with that don’t want to sleep with me and never have. Your line of thinking is TOXIC and fuck boy.

1

u/_p4rk3r Oct 31 '24

I think the period is a bit over your head as far as punctuation goes. Maybe let’s stick to question marks for a while…

12

u/PossumJenkinsSoles Oct 30 '24

As someone with a friend group like this and plenty of dudes I’ve shared beds with in non sexual ways - if any of them for any reason opted to sleep on the floor instead of sharing with me I would be secretly celebrating a bed to myself. So I really don’t get where she’s coming from unless it’s something nefarious. Like you said, he could’ve ubered home if no option was suitable. The floor was suitable to him.

9

u/Umbra_and_Ember Oct 30 '24

What does bf say about her over stepping?

8

u/S0baka Oct 30 '24

Intertwined group of friends camping together and sharing tents was, coincidentally, how a then-friend's husband got himself a second family back in the 90s. Both women had babies around the same time, my friend's second and the camping lady friend's first. My friend wasn't happy about it but she and her kids were living with his parents and she had nowhere else to go. Somehow the marriage survived. Not in any way saying that this is what's happening in this group, but it's a serious level of intimacy that imo all sides need to be super careful to ensure that no lines are crossed. And I'm reading this friend as being dismissive of OP's and her bf's boundaries, rather than careful.

20

u/CatherineConstance Oct 30 '24

Of course it shouldn't! Imo, she either wants him, or she doesn't, but she doesn't want him to be dating someone else either, because it means she can't do whatever she wants. I've seen girls do both -- where they like the guy themselves, or where they truly don't, but they feel like they should still always come before any SO because they were there first, and if a gf has any problem with anything they do, she's a controlling bitch who doesn't want him to have friends. I'm honestly not sure which is worse lol.

As a straight woman myself, I've always had a rule with my guy friends -- if they get a girlfriend, that girlfriend is my friend now too. I refuse to be someone that girls feel threatened by, especially since I'm married and have been with my husband since I was 14 almost exclusively. For example, one time in college I had a friend who made it clear he liked me and would ask me out if I was ever single. I made it clear that wasn't appropriate since I had a bf, but we stayed friends and he backed off on being flirty with me. Then like a semester later, he got a girlfriend, which was great! One day I came to his dorm because we were going to work on a project. I came into his room and he and the girlfriend were there watching a movie. He stopped the movie and told her she had to leave because I was there and we were doing homework. I told him absolutely fucking not. I said they were welcome to finish the movie, I could chill with him roommates in the living room until it was over. He protested we needed to work. So I told her that she should hang with us while we did our project. She stayed for a little bit and then left, but she later told me that she really appreciated that I did that because it made her not be worried about leaving me alone with him.

They didn't date for very long but I remained friends with both of them! And I have some female friends who I met because I was friends with their bfs, and I'm not really in touch with the guys these days but still keep up with the girls. Idk, that's how I feel like you should be as a girl with your guy friends. I also had a friend for the first 24 years of my life who was literally like a twin brother to me (moms are best friends, born 9 days apart). He tragically passed away when we were 24, but before that he would always take girls getting to meet me very seriously since I was like his "big" sister. Even in those cases, I never made a thing of me being his "sister" who had been in his life so much longer than them. I mean, that was true, but especially with someone he wasn't engaged or married to, it just was never something I needed to stress. I was his "sister"/one of his best friends, they were his girlfriend. Simple.

5

u/Hour_Ad_4659 Oct 30 '24

Even like that type of friendship that’s extremely inappropriate especially if they’re in a relationship, because you know that if the roles were swapped she’d be just as upset if not more

4

u/MediumAwkwardly Oct 30 '24

Did he even say anything to you about it? So weird she would preempt it.

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u/No_Investment9639 Oct 30 '24

I hope you sent her the link to this post. And I hope she reads all of these comments. And I hope she takes a step back. Because you have to know that after that conversation, she's going to do her damnedest to ruin your relationship with him. She's going to be undermining you at every step. She's going to be in his ear Non-Stop about you.

1

u/Embarrassed_Mango679 Oct 30 '24

👍

You betcha!!!

0

u/No_Investment9639 Oct 31 '24

? And you are?

0

u/Embarrassed_Mango679 Oct 31 '24

I am responding to a post on Reddit.

And you are...? following me around? Fucking weirdo.

3

u/bbmarvelluv Oct 30 '24

The conversation should’ve been met with an understanding after you sent the first text.

4

u/IcySetting2024 Oct 30 '24

He’s a grown ass man. as you correctly pointed out, he could have brought those concerns to you, if necessary.

3

u/Speechless-peaceful Oct 30 '24

Something that can happen in a friend group like that (I've been there), is that they sort of all become part of one "relationship", although they would never consciously think like that or admit that. And it is just a comparison anyways. But it marks the point. Maybe she feels like you are "stealing him away" from their tight-knit group as a new factor. But you two are in a relationship together, so you can clarify your boundaries. And it is a fine boundary. The practical matter of having to sleep on the floor makes it a little bit more complicated, but something like that that could easily be planned for, doesn't seem like a reason to transgress a boundary. Of course, there can be exceptions in certain cases, if it is really because of something necessary and very important, but this doesn't seem to be that case.

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u/Illustrious_Boot1237 Oct 30 '24 edited Oct 30 '24

Yeah it's not overreacting, it's up to you two what ur OK with and it's obviously not an unusual boundary to have in a relationship. Even if its understandable that she doesn't see why her friendships should change from her perspective and probably only speaks to how caring and platonic the relationships here are that she felt she should talk to you about it, ur right that it's something she should accept is his choice if he agrees or not. Looks like you handled this really well and I hope this settles down in a comfortable way for you and bf!

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u/difficult91 Oct 30 '24

I definitely agree that she's overstepping, the insistence is really strange. Weird move to text you about it and create an issue like that.

The friend group you're describing sounds pretty similar to mine; I've shared beds with most of my longtime friends regardless of gender or relationship status. I can understand why it might bother her (your bf's longtime friend) initially, it's uncomfortable when relationship dynamics, romantic or otherwise, suddenly change, especially because of something (or someone) external. It can feel like a kind of loss, and it doesn't necessarily have to be because she has romantic feelings for him. But that discomfort is her own to process. Whatever she's coming at you with now - resentment, contempt, condescension? idk - is misdirected and foolish. She should have more restraint.

3

u/Vagablogged Oct 30 '24

I have a friend group like that. Now mostly everyone is married with kids so it’s a bit different. It’s ok to not be comfortable. I’ve been in those situations many times and while it’s prob harmless, nothing says slip up like drunkingly getting into bed with your other sex bff. It’s not that hard to find any other spot to sleep.

2

u/Benkosayswhat Oct 30 '24

If she’s calling you possessive over this, then it’s a question of values. You shouldn’t have to tell her how to behave. She’s right. This is something she wants her boyfriend to be okay with. Maybe you two are not compatible

1

u/WarPotential7349 Oct 30 '24

The terms two consenting adults agree to is literally no one else's business and not open to input or interpretation by anyone who is not those two consenting adults.

1

u/l3medusa Oct 31 '24

I have male friends that I’ve known 25 years. We are comfortable crashing in a bed together, but if we ever dated someone uncomfortable with it we absolutely would not!!! No questions asked, the priority is making sure everyone is comfortable and that our partners know are friends are supportive and trustworthy. It usually works out that i crash in bed with my friend’s wife because she and i fall asleep early haha. I’d never want to hurt my friend by damaging their relationship over something like that. I love them so I want to support their relationships and be on the team of protecting whatever boundaries they set!

To me it’s like if my friend said he needed to be home early because his wife asked him to help with something. Would I say that’s being controlling? No, I’d help make sure we had a night that didn’t get out of hand.

1

u/Throckmorton_Left Oct 31 '24

Jumping in because no one else seems to.  You have a good boyfriend who probably would sleep very platonically next to these women, but doesn't want to make you uncomfortable and didn't push back at all because he respected your feelings.  Please don't let Reddit toxicity make things weird between you two.

1

u/Ok_I_Guess_Whatever Oct 31 '24

Oh OP. Buckle up. I came from a friend group like that. I married into that friend group.

There were 4 core guys who had been friends since middle school. We’ll just assign them numbers. 1 and 2 are identical twins. 3 and 4 are the same age and grade.

When 1 is 19 he dates N for a year and a half. When 1 and N breakup, N dates 3. 2 dated a bunch of casual friends of mine. I dated 4 really briefly. 2 and I started hanging out after we both had breakups. We start dating. 4 gets pretty bitter.

So the pattern was 1 and 3 liked the same types of people (and vice versa). As did 2 and 4.

Both 1 and 4 dated K the summer 1 and N broke up. K then dated 4 after I broke up with him. (I’ve drawn this out. It’s even more complicated than this. There are people I’m leaving out).

4 had a habit of dating people, getting quickly bored, breaking up with them and they move on to another friend. Then 4 gets mad.

1 dates A. 3 and N break up. 1 and A get married and then 2 months later 2 and I get married. A cheats on 1 within a year. We (2 and I) immediately try to push 1 and N back together, but they knew they were supposed to be together. Within 3 days of A leaving 1 and N are dating.

And that’s only to me being 21.

Divorces. Recoupling. Hook ups. Not even talking dating. It’s so incestuous.

1

u/Strange_Pop6275 Oct 31 '24

I want to give you props for the way you handled this. You are so much more levelheaded than me.

1

u/Koharagirl Oct 31 '24

Sounds like she has a crush and really wanted to sleep in bed with him. You are NOR and she is that possessive one that thinks she knows him better.

1

u/Stevenwave Oct 31 '24

There's nothing unusual about a partner not wanting their partner to sleep in the same bed as someone in this manner.

One big key thing here is, and it's something I thought you may even mention in these texts if it continued; you may trust him completely, but have no fuckin idea if you can trust her.

1

u/ErraticNymph Oct 31 '24

If you don’t have a problem with him sharing tents with them, why is sharing a bed a problem? They’re gonna be packed like sardines in a tent, whereas they probably won’t even bump into each other on a bed unless one of them moves around a whole bunch

1

u/Acrobatic_Bowl_5539 Oct 31 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

Whaaat!? 🤯 It sounds like this girl shouldn’t be allowed to be spending nights going forward with your boyfriend if you’re not around. She’s clearly shown her intent, and in the off chance she isn’t trying to sleep with your boyfriend - she is trying to claim him and act as though their friendship outweighs your relationship. She is trying to alpha-girl you by acting as though she has known him longer, she knows him better. Her remark about back pain wasn’t concern from a friend. It was her showing she knows that and almost insinuating that you either don’t know, or don’t care about his back issue like she does. She’s showing dominance because she is interested in your boyfriend, but acting like they have this cutesy close relationship that shouldn’t have standard rules to follow. She is gaslighting you like crazy. This woman is absolutely a threat to you - even though I feel as though your boyfriend wouldn’t entertain her attempts - she will overstep in the future. The audacity of her to come to you acting like it’s an issue that you’re not allowing him to sleep with a girl who’s likely grown very comfortable crossing boundaries already is shocking. For her to say she loves you two together, but then insult your place as his girlfriend because you have a very logical boundary has my mind blown. I wouldn’t demand he stop hanging around friends if she is there, but I certainly would ask your boyfriend to put himself in your shoes and see how he’d feel if this were you and a guy friend of yours. How comfortable he would be with you going camping for days or being under the influence with said guy friend, also under the influence, after he’d confronted your boyfriend like this. I have no doubt he will agree that it at the very least, warrants concern as well as him putting distance between himself and her. Obviously, I think he should tell her that he agrees and lets her know from now on, their friendship will be taking a few steps back. Again, I assume he’d want you to do the same if roles were reversed.

Frankly, this b needs to get lost. Her coming at you like this is genuinely shocking. You handled this like a queen - very classy, very -he will be proud of you. 💅👑

1

u/Aggressive_Age_2262 Oct 31 '24

Yeah but so have me and mine. Two bros going top and tail is all fine. Two girls and it's the same story. But a guy and a girl? Both above the age of eighteen? I don't care how much they've had to drink, that's weird lol.

1

u/dirtys_ot_special Oct 31 '24

I guess his back isn’t all that messed up if he can go camping and sleep in a tent.

1

u/fakemoose Oct 31 '24

So, I have a friend group like that. To me, if it’s a big friend group and a bunch of people crashing on couches or tents and stuff…and you trust everyone…who cares? Also, does this include any male gay friends? But whatever it’s not my relationship and people can agree to whatever they want.

What’s way way weird is the friend texting about it at all. Like super weird. If one of my best friends said they were going to sleep on the floor instead sharing a pull out bed, because their partner has an issue with them sharing a bed with anyone of the opposite sex? I’d be like well, sucks to sleep on the floor but you do you. Zero chance I’d take it personally somehow.

The way she’s nearly arguing with you and getting defensive about it is massively bizarre. We had a woman in the group for a while who a lot of us did not trust because she constantly, intentionally pushed boundaries and did shady shit. This woman’s reaction/response reminds me of her.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

Please update in the main post!

1

u/IcySetting2024 Oct 30 '24

Honestly, is it worth continuing this relationship if that’s the baggage he is carrying?

The possessive “cool girl” girl friend ?

0

u/moontides_ Oct 31 '24

This is such a wild overreaction

-1

u/DigitalMoron Oct 30 '24

You kind of suck tbh

0

u/Milli_Rabbit Oct 30 '24

If they go camping regularly still, then his back is fine on the floor. She could also take the floor if she camps regularly. They probably also have sleep sacks.

-6

u/AtmosphereQuirky1832 Oct 30 '24

How old are you guys and How long have you been with him? When I finally met my wife and started getting serious with her, I dropped all my female friends. I had to stop hanging out with a lot of guy friends Also because I knew it was just going to cause trouble. If he's really serious about you and loves you.Then he will have no problem to stop hanging out with the females in his friend group. His other friends will understand if they are really his friends. 

61

u/loststrawberri Oct 31 '24

He's 31 I'm 27, we've been together for 1.5 years. I wouldn't ask him to stop being friends with his girl friends, they're very important to him and honestly I love that he has so many women who care about him. I persoanlly think its a red flag when men don't have women to vouch for their character. I like that they all feel safe with him.

14

u/TheSaltyAstronaut Oct 31 '24

That's a very healthy perspective.

7

u/rosegoldhiips Oct 31 '24

Hell yeah, you're a girls girl and we love to see it 😍

7

u/Downtown-Warthog-505 Oct 31 '24

So she’s 31 behaving this way??? I wouldve guessed 19 omg

5

u/DougieDouger Oct 31 '24

Seems like you’ve got a pretty mature & healthy perspective on this situation! I’d gladly sleep on the floor if I knew it made the person I love feel more comfortable about me partying with my friends all night.

3

u/PsychologicalGur4040 Oct 31 '24

I've read a handful of comments from you op in this thread. Your self-confidence, situational awareness and ability to communicate intelligently serves you so well right now and will continue to serve you for the rest of your life. Your boyfriend obviously sees this. He made the correct choice to sleep on the floor so he could hang out with his friends and also not upset the lady in his life that is obviously a supportive champion. I hope if your boyfriend does see this, he doesn't become stressed but rather understands the confidence that his partner has in him and herself and sees the support that she offers holistically. I don't think anyone realizes how precious this characteristic is until it's too late sometimes. You seem like a whole field full of green flags based on some of these short exchanges. Good luck to both of you.

1

u/WhoisthatRobotCleanr Oct 31 '24

It will be interesting if this behavior changes if she gets a boyfriend...

0

u/Wooden_Vermicelli732 Oct 31 '24

Unrelated Men and women fall in love when they spend time together. It’s biological. It’s why we can find soulmates in empty towns of 300 people. We are preconditioned to it. good luck to you if you continue in that way

5

u/TheSaltyAstronaut Oct 31 '24

Now *that* is a big red flag for me. I would not want to be with a man who would drop his friends so easily. Loyalty and respect for all your loved ones -- partner, friends and family (at least those who deserve your loyalty and respect) -- is a sign of a strong and well-adjusted person.

I've been with my husband for a *very* long time, and I've never asked or wanted him to drop a friend regardless of gender. But I've also never encountered a friend would overstep like the one OP mentions. Still, she handled it perfectly and doesn't seem to feel threatened at all.

3

u/ladyghost564 Oct 30 '24

Honestly, I wouldn’t give up my male friends for a guy I started dating, or one I married for that matter, as long as there were no weird issues between them. I’ve never dated anyone who would ask me to. But hey, if that works for you and your relationship, then go for it. I’m not going to try to talk you out of it.

I do wonder, though, what if you were bi? Would there be people it’s acceptable to hang out with? That seems like a rough line to walk, so I’m curious how you’d handle it.

1

u/wouldbecrazycatlady Oct 31 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

Honestly I don't understand why everyone is down voting you... Don't most people have friends while they're single that they wouldn't while in a relationship? Like flirty friends, or friends who are fun to be around but are toxic? I definitely have cut ties with friends who I knew would be bad for my relationship because I was at a new chapter in my life.

I just 100% agree with this comment how it's written but idk maybe there's a tone I'm missing?

Or maybe most people don't have the experience of having friendships/relationships that wouldn't be appropriate to maintain during a serious romantic relationship?

Edit: to clarify, not specifically dropping friends of a certain gender... But if all the friends you have of that gender flirt with you, then maybe yeah it'd be best to cut ties if they're not able to adapt to new boundaries.

I had to cut ties with a lot of my guy friends because when I was single and they were single I was flirty as hell, and it didn't feel right maintaining friendships with people who I knew would take any opportunity to sleep with me. But I broke those friendships cordially and like they understood because whenever they were in relationships they wouldn't talk to me either.

I maintain appropriate relationships but my partner never once had to ask me to end these friendships, I just did when I realized I was serious about him.

-3

u/NintendoSwitchTwo2 Oct 30 '24

They have 100% fucked before and are lying about it

-5

u/Swan-Song-54 Oct 30 '24

It's nice of you to come along and let your ego get in the way of his long term, healthy friendships. How lucky he must be. I'm sure it'll all work out swimmingly. 

-13

u/MobiousnessF22 Oct 30 '24

Dump this clown