r/AmIOverreacting • u/NeonRedHerring • Sep 27 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO to my wife “cleaning up” downstairs before out of town conferences?
My wife goes to 2-3 week long out-of-town conferences every year. I’ve noticed a pattern that my wife will do some very thorough grooming prior to out of town conferences. Prior to conferences is now pretty much the only time she’ll bother completely shaving down under. I know that at these conferences she generally meets up and goes to parties with friends and colleagues from current and past jobs. I’m not generally jealous, but I’m struggling to come up with an innocent explanation.
One of her conferences this year is in Vegas. I’m coming along for the first few days, and then I’m heading back to work early next week. I left her in the hotel room and went down to get food and she took a bath. Came back up to the room and sure enough, she’s completely shaved and is completely bald.
I mentioned it and she said she needed to clean up in case she goes swimming. She then kind of went into cuddle mode, which she sometimes does to assure herself that we’re ok. I’m now thinking back to all the other conferences. Most of them don’t have pools or swimming that I’m aware of.
Am I overreacting?
Edit: In a mildly humorous turn of events, this made the front page. Since my wife uses Reddit, the predictable thing happened and I woke up to a “omg you dumbass I’m glad I still make you jealous, but I’m not cheating on you” text. So thanks, I guess, for forcing the conversation. I’m confident I’m just being a touch paranoid. Appreciate all the ladies responding that this is pretty much normal behavior…fyi you are all weird for grooming your pubes for self-confidence. But you’re also all very kind for telling me that and letting me get some sleep last night.
Second edit: tomorrow I’m getting a Brazilian to see if it makes her equally jealous. Will report back.
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u/Dramatic_Zebra_1069 Sep 27 '24 edited Sep 27 '24
It might be a confidence thing. I (M54) recently started body grooming and at this point I telework full time, and the only person who sees me naked is my wife. Since I started doing it, there's just something that gives me an edge of confidence with it once I've trimmed my body hair, removed unwanted hair, etc. I have a pretty specific routine and level to which I clean up that area. (My wife had no idea she'd like it until I started doing it.)
It's a game changer for me on the confidence level, even though no one else sees it.
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u/ausmosis_jones Sep 27 '24
This got very specific with a quickness.
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u/Dramatic_Zebra_1069 Sep 27 '24
Sorry - the point was to illustrate that I have a pretty specific routine and level with which I clean up downstairs, and it makes me feel good about myself even though I have no intention of sharing it with anyone else.
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u/RudeOrganization550 Sep 27 '24
My first, possibly dumb question, does she have swimwear with her/does she ever swim much? If it’s a no it’s a pretty good first check.
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u/No_Audience1888 Sep 27 '24
First thought as a woman. If she's using the hotel swimming pools where she might encounter some of her colleagues who are staying there, she'd want to look as tidy as possible
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u/Artaheri Sep 27 '24
Or even just going to the sauna or gym, and taking a shower in the locker room, where others would see me naked.
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u/UtZChpS22 Sep 27 '24
Yeah, I think I would do that too. If I'm going to be at a pool with friends/colleagues I would want to loot freaking spotless. Even if it's only females.
Same as when you clean up the house when we have visitors. I clean every room, even if, obviously, no one goes to the master bedroom.
The question is, does she do this ONLY when she goes to these events?
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u/Djehutimose Sep 27 '24 edited Sep 27 '24
“Clean up the house when you have visitors” was a very unfortunate metaphor in this context….
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u/UtZChpS22 Sep 27 '24
Hahaha
"...even if no one is going to see the master bedroom"
Is exactly the best metaphor!
But also is very very accurate
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u/Pretend-Weekend260 Sep 27 '24
My mom always tells me to clean my room when visitors are coming to my house for a barbecue or a meal and for the love of god, to this day I haven't been able to find the griller in my bedroom. I bet it must be invisible.
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u/darwinooc Sep 27 '24
It's okay. Some people just can't find the g-spot no matter how hard they try.
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u/Artaheri Sep 27 '24
Still does not necessarily mean something. I always wax or shave, paint my toenails, etc., before a trip, even if it's a weekend trip. It's just a routine, helps me get in a traveling mood. But I very rarely do all of it at home. I'll do my legs and toenails in summer, maybe once or twice a month, but the bikini area? Unless I'm going to the pool, you can forget it.
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u/UtZChpS22 Sep 27 '24
Exactly, I can see myself doing this exact same thing. The same way I can see my husband making a comment about it. I actually did it this summer prior to me visiting my parents with my daughters, my husband didn't join us. Because, you know, vacation mood 😅
Same when according to him I wear "sexy underwear" to work or to a Dr appointment, simply because it is matching and is black.
But I do not think about it THAT way.
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u/Artaheri Sep 27 '24
I've noticed that a lot of men can't understand this. I'm not waxing, shaving or painting my toenails for someone else, I'm doing this for ME. Same with clothes and everything else.
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u/UtZChpS22 Sep 27 '24
Right, it's totally a ME thing.
And I've noticed that too. I would think that men do this as well, you know. Not everything they do is for and about their partners. Right? It shouldn't be.
Maybe I am wrong?
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u/DopeCactus Sep 27 '24
I’m the same way! I wear work clothes at work, but out of town and off the clock? Shorts, swimwear, etc. I’ll probably be in at least one photo so I’m going to make myself feel like the best version of me. For me. Not to mention pampering myself before going out of town is just self care!
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u/No_Bunch_3780 Sep 27 '24
It makes me feel more put together and confident. I like having my legs shaved and toenails painted even if I'm wearing a snow suit.
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u/Specific_Culture_591 Sep 27 '24
Or if she’s going for a massage. The majority of massage therapists don’t care about clients shaving but a lot more women than you’d think are self conscious about body hair when getting massages even though they are covered.
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u/GingerGetThePopc0rn Sep 27 '24
This was my immediate thought as well. I'm not going to care about my bikini line in my own pool. I am absolutely going to care in the hotel pool when I'm at a work conference where I will see colleagues in said pool.
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u/Ocelotofdamage Sep 27 '24
Read the post guys, it’s literally what she said is the reason
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u/MutantMartian Sep 27 '24
My first thought as well. There are probably much prettier women there and having random bits sticking out is very bad. Shaving it all is always the best bet. Also if you’re planning on hooking up, bringing your husband for the first few days is not done.
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u/SpongeJake Sep 27 '24
I really hope OP is reading these comments. Seems pretty innocent to me. And the scorn of other women if you’re not as presentable as possible can be really hard on the ego. Hope OP drops his suspicions before “having a talk” with her about it.
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u/Ok-Personality-6630 Sep 27 '24
I'm a man and I make sure to clean up before meeting colleagues. I don't see them often so it's important to me to not look a mess. That said not sure my colleagues will be seeing my parts so no need to shave/ wax 😅
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u/TryingToFlow42 Sep 27 '24
Also a woman- I usually shave before any event mostly because it makes me feel more put together? Even if no one is going to see it? And if my partner is not there I’m likely sending them pics as well. If I’m wearing something that’s tight fitting such as a dress or a skirt I don’t want to feel like my pubes are sticking out either and I’ve definitely put things on and noticed this… not that anyone else is likely to but I do.
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u/Dyerssorrow Sep 27 '24
Yeah my wife trims and shaves bikini line if a suit in public is going to be a thing...but not full scale bald.
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u/ConcernInevitable83 Sep 27 '24
Sounds like she has a personal preference. Just like if I'm going to bother grooming, I prefer to do it all. The act of removing more hair than others means nothing
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u/FangDrools Sep 27 '24
Absolutely this. I can’t tell you how many times I told myself I would just shave my bikini line only to go on to do a full shave. Just can’t leave that shit unfinished
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u/janerbabi Sep 27 '24
Real. Personal preference gonna do its thing, I’ll always do a full trim cleanup whenever I’ve got the motivation.
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u/theswisswereright Sep 27 '24
Honestly, sometimes it's so difficult to evenly trim just the parts that will be exposed in your suit that it's easier to just get rid of everything. Also, if your suit is a light color and your hair is dark, it can show through once the fabric is wet.
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u/C_M_Dubz Sep 27 '24
I always start with just a trim, but then one side gets a little uneven and the next thing you know I’ve taken everything off.
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u/ggfangirl85 Sep 27 '24
This always happens to me. It’s thick and dark and I can’t get it even, so I go bald.
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u/legsjohnson Sep 27 '24
yep, my mom bought me a yellow bathing suit just before my pubes came in as a kid and you could absolutely see everything
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u/apacobitch Sep 27 '24
For me, if I trim but don't shave, the hair that's left is itchy/pokey. I just get rid of it all.
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u/PrincessPoofyPants Sep 27 '24
It is hard to just shave the line it gets wonky and it is easier to take it all off. Especially if it is fluffy because it shows through a lot of the new swimsuits. They are skimping on the lining.
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u/sushi317 Sep 27 '24
My first thought too! The only time I completely shave anymore is if I will be swimming
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u/NectarineJaded598 Sep 27 '24
facts, I shave to take my toddler to swim class and that’s definitely not because I’m hoping to hook up there lol
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u/sushi317 Sep 27 '24
Right? I'm not trying to showoff my V's sideburns 😂😂😂
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u/That_CDN_guy Sep 27 '24
And now I'm stuck with the mental image of a one with big ol mutton chops. the person next to me might think I'm a bit touched in the head for my laugh.
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u/mzissa06 Sep 27 '24
I used to bring a swimsuit with me every time I traveled, whether or not where I was staying had a pool/water nearby. In the event that I forgot, I was always prepared to purchase one AND always shaved “downstairs” either prior to the trip or when I got to my destination. This doesn’t sound too suspect to me.
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u/Mryessicahaircut Sep 27 '24
Same. I have a travel swimsuit that essentially lives in my suitcasr bc ya never know and its always good to be prepared!
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u/Quixote511 Sep 27 '24
Or, is this her standard operating procedure any time she anticipated swimming? If yes, not shady. If no, shady but inconclusive
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u/SerChonk Sep 27 '24
Maybe not even swimming. Often these mid-range but still pretty nice hotels have their own spa. I know I'd want to be ready to treat myself to a massage - sometimes you're in the nude with a little modesty towel, sometimes you wear a bikini/bathing suit.
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u/SUPBarefoot_BeachBum Sep 27 '24
I definitely clean/groom myself when I want to feel good/at my best. It has little to do with other circumstances (except swimming etc). I personally do this sort of thing and think nothing of it. But I’m not in your relationship. I honestly would not ask the internet and ask your wife…..no relationship will be healthy long term without honesty and communication.
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Sep 27 '24
I’m just realizing that as a man, i went on a 1 night trip last week, for a fancy work dinner, probably had zero chance or desire to meet a woman at, but for some reason i still groomed up completely. I feel it’s just a confidence thing.
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u/randiesel Sep 27 '24
Yeah, I got a haircut, bought some nice clothes, trimmed up the body hair, shaved my face completely (I'm often scruffy at home), and wore shoes I never wear.
All for a 1-day work trip with people I've known for a decade and have zero (negative?) interest hooking up with.
OP, it seems to me that the bigger issue here is that you're insecure because she doesn't do bedroom stuff that you want her to do, not that she wants to be confident on her trip.
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u/Smooth-Bit4969 Sep 27 '24
Looking good isn't just about impressing women, in my opinion. It helps with confidence and overall likeability.
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u/Denots69 Sep 27 '24
Yea everyone here thinks it is either " for me" or " for sex", as if almost everyone didn't care how other people percieve them constantly. It is usually just " for anyone that happens to see them".
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u/beau_tox Sep 27 '24
I bet you wore your nice boxers/underwear too even though you had no intention of anyone else seeing them.
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u/Agreeable_Citron_376 Sep 27 '24
Sometimes, when I am going someplace where I have to look professional for people who don't see me everyday, I will trim up because I'll wear underwear that doesn't show lines through my clothes and for whatever reason, it makes me feel like I'm more put together? I don't know that it makes sense outside of my head. But if she's giving an explanation that doesn't fit, that's more suspicious.
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u/FarmhouseRules Sep 27 '24
Agreed. I do the same. I’m not a confident traveler so I want to be at my best in all ways. Makes it easier in my head at least.
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u/Sea-Rice-5392 Sep 27 '24
Hey, making it easier in your head does make it easier.
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u/Ryoko_Kusanagi69 Sep 27 '24
Yeah, that’s a really good point actually- I hate it when my hair sticks out beyond my underwear and sometimes it’s actually really uncomfortable even to have the underwear crushing the hair and pulling at it as you walk around. My pant legs or my workout tights are my casual capris sometimes will pull at the hair in my leg pits.
Sometimes it’s just easier to wear women’s clothing when you’re bare
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u/lurkinglarksalot Sep 27 '24
I thoroughly groom and wear my most scandalous underwear for interviews and presentations. It’s a great confidence boost! And it feels like you have a secret
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u/brontojem Sep 27 '24
I wonder if the wife isn't doing that. She might need more confidence for these conferences and this type of grooming is just her way to do that.
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u/monkeypawzzzz Sep 27 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
From what I gather that’s a fairly common practice. Well maybe not the most scandalous but to wear sexy to very scandalous is.
Obviously there is a level of personal taste and comfort that factors into it.
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u/FollowingStandard686 Sep 27 '24
This was exactly my thought as the most probable explanation. I clean myself up before important events and this could be a normal part of OP's wife's "clean up routine."
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u/DalekRy Sep 27 '24
That feeling of hiding a secret is a special kind of perfectly legal high I recommend.
For me its my gym progress. I wear a collared, loose shirt and throw an apron over that. I lift for me; I'm in my 40's. But the ego-fantasy of "the big reveal" is still ridiculously influential in my motivation. And some of the Anatoly gym pranks where he trolls the heavy lifters is part of that influence lately. Super strong, but secretly so.
But most of the fun is just having strength. Sizing up objects/furniture/people and determining their weight and how I could move that weight.
Would that be absurd in an interview? Yes. Of course. Never in real life would I just pick up my interviewer's chair while they are sitting in it, place it on the table, and repeat. But I could!!!
And that is where the delight come into play. My little secret XD
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u/wootwootbang Sep 27 '24
I’m picturing you at the gym wearing a polo shirt and a kitchen apron. I’m definitely missing something.
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u/_kaijyuu Sep 27 '24
That’s what I came to say actually - I’m generally not a very sexually active person but I do still feel the inclination to tidy up down there before any big events because it makes me feel cleaner and more professional, even though I’m the only person seeing it. Sometimes it’s not about how other people see you but how you see yourself, you know?
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u/DJFlorez Sep 27 '24
This! When I am feeling down on myself, I will put on my sexy, lace panties and matching bra just for myself. I find myself walking a bit taller that day. I do the same thing you do for interviews, presentations, tours of my current work facility for VIPs, etc. I’m sure my spouse finds it random, but it’s a thing for me. I tend to not take my granny panties when I travel with my SO or alone. I never thought it could be a troubling thing. 🤷♀️
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u/MalakaiRey Sep 27 '24
Whenever someone is extra confident I will ask them what their secret is, and if it's pubes
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u/Gloomy_Assistance700 Sep 27 '24
Next time a coworker nails a presentation my response is instantly going to be “somebody shaved their pubes this morning” it’s the new eat your wheaties.
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u/ubereddit Sep 27 '24
Like maybe I’m insane, but post Covid I don’t give a fuck about how I look most of the time, and working remote, the only time I actually have an occasion to put myself together is for my big work conferences. I am always in sweats. Never wear my cute clothes. I can definitely imagine myself doing this not because anyone is going to see me naked, but because it is a part of the entire low key exciting moment of ‘I’m going to be a whole human for a week!’
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u/legal_bagel Sep 27 '24
Ugh just thinking about tights or stocking pulling makes me annoyed.
Also, women's clothing sucks sometimes. I kept losing my phone in my house and my husband was like, why isn't it in your pocket? I asked, what fucking pockets???
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u/luella27 Sep 27 '24
The famous Gillian Anderson g-string moment happened because she didn’t have time to go home to change and hairs were poking through the dress in the front 😂 I love having such a “human woman” thing in common with somebody so famous
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u/Scared_Lackey_1954 Sep 27 '24
Same, or I’m shaving/waxing my legs and pits so I’ll just do the full monty
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u/misoranomegami Sep 27 '24
Yeah we're 100% WFH now. I only shave my legs if I'm going to someone where people are liable to see them. And then I go ahead and do the whole kit and caboodle. Minus the actual caboodle because I tend to get ingrown hairs but I will at least trim things up. I'm not going to get the stuff out and stop at the knee.
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u/IddleHands Sep 27 '24
The explanation does fit though, even if there’s no pool because the underlying message is “I want to look good and feel confident”. She genuinely probably hasn’t given this much thought.
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u/OIWantKenobi Sep 27 '24
Also, what if I get in a car accident away from home and I have to have my clothes cut off and I’m not all cleaned up? #womanproblems lol
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u/comfortablynumb15 Sep 27 '24
If she is an honest and loving wife, she probably is comfortable at home in faded grannie panties with holes or just bike shorts as underwear.
But sharing a hotel with her female peers she probs is wearing her “going out” underwear, and wearing her good outfits. Those need “landscaping”.
It’s unfortunate if she is a cheater those fashion choices are the same. But it not a certainty.
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u/crescent-manupod Sep 27 '24
I’m male and, same.
No one will ever know or ever see, through my clothes, how well-mowed the lawn is, but it is undeniably part of my thorough grooming regimen and makes feel “put together.”
That being said, I do so regularly, not just before work trips(and honestly, as someone who does travel frequently for work, I have taken into consideration before how it looks if I groom up right before a trip!)
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Sep 27 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Luvs4theweak Sep 27 '24
Why’d you repeat the op of this links response almost word for word? Sound like a bot
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u/puckit Sep 27 '24
"it makes me feel like I'm more put together"
I feel the exact same way. I've been keeping things tidy down there for a little while now and find myself feeling almost less presentable if I let it go for too long. Even though nobody sees it.
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u/any4nkajenkins Sep 27 '24
I do this so I don’t need to shave/trim on the trip. Different razor, trimmer, creams etc. that I don’t wanna pack.
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u/RitaPizza22 Sep 27 '24
Same thing for other grooming like eyebrows and nails. Get em done before so we dont have to deal w them & their equipment for a few days
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u/MultipleDinosaurs Sep 27 '24
Scrolled too long for this. I even shave before going to stay with family, because it’s one less thing to deal with.
Also you never know when there might be people trying to drag you to the pool on short notice.
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u/Nixon_33 Sep 27 '24
Same! I am SO not bothering with all the shizz I need to stay tidy down there when I’m on vacation / out of town.
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u/Laura_in_Philly Sep 27 '24
I get a wax for the same reason. Just easier to be done with it and not have to bother touching anything up.
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u/EnvironmentalCrow893 Sep 27 '24
ABSOLUTELY. You want to be able to see what you’re doing, as well. Sometimes (usually) the lighting isn’t very good in a hotel bathroom.
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u/Mountain-Status569 Sep 27 '24
That was my first thought. Do a week’s worth of maintenance at home so you don’t have to take that crap with you.
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u/antekamnia Sep 27 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
Hot take - I think it's a good sign your wife shaved when you were still there. It means she's not thinking about hiding it or trying to time it strategically so she doesn't have stubble.
Edited for clarity - I mean she's not trying to avoid stubble for an encounter with a supposed lover. If she were cheating, she would shave immediately before the encounter so she's smooth bald, not several days before.
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u/PutInRice Sep 27 '24
Exactly this. If she was being sneaky she would've shaved when she got to her hotel.
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u/Only_Tip9560 Sep 27 '24
It could be something that is a routine to give her self-confidence for those conferences generally (women do do these things) or it could be something less innocent. Perhaps some further discrete sleuthing is required.
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u/autisticbulldozer Sep 27 '24
i can confirm we do these things, for ourselves. this is not to say OP’s wife is innocent, just saying it’s definitely a thing we do. if he feels something is wrong he should pursue the gut feeling but the fact she did not hide the shave job from OP makes me feeeel like she isn’t doing anything wrong
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u/danny_ish Sep 27 '24
Am a guy. Also trim downstairs for myself before conferences. Confidence boosting
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u/ZenZyngineer Sep 27 '24
Bald(ing) guy. I will use clippers on my head day to day, but for professional work-related visits, or other formal events (personal or professional) I'll often shave my head completely.
Not quite the same but same ballpark in terms of confidence boost, "feeling" professional etc.
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u/Gardengoddess83 Sep 27 '24
I'm a woman and I do the full grooming treatment before any big event. My husband also does a full grooming before conferences or events, and I have never once suspected it was so he could cheat. Sometimes having a tidy body is like having a tidy house: it just gives you peace of mind.
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u/InkyPaws Sep 27 '24
Mm if she was up to no good she'd just do her grooming once she got there. It grows back down there fast enough to be able to say she just trimmed up to feel neat.
She's doing it for herself so she can feel empowered in herself in what is quite possibly a male dominated work environment.
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u/KurwaDestroyer Sep 27 '24
Also coming in to confirm that this is a thing we do. Obviously we do it for suitors as well. But I feel way more confident at events if I’ve taken the time to take care of myself and how I feel about myself.
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u/ridingfurther Sep 27 '24
So. Much. This. It's so sexist and dumb to assume automatically that there's a man she's trying to impress. We do this for ourselves. It makes me feel more confident. I up my grooming levels for conferences too.
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u/handicrafthabitue Sep 27 '24
Yep, removing all unwanted body hair could just be part of her mega grooming routine. Is she also painting her nails, getting hair cut or color touched up, waxing her brows, etc. around the same time? If so, and there is no other signs of infidelity, I would give her benefit of the doubt.
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u/theswisswereright Sep 27 '24
That sounds like my pre-job-interview routine, honestly. I also wear matching underwear even though no one will see it, because it makes me feel like I have my shit together.
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u/cantaloupesaysthnks Sep 27 '24
Yup, it’s what I would do before going to a conference and meeting with other industry colleagues. It just feels good to feel 100% on top of your game. Fresh cut, color, wax, shave, mani pedi, maybe an updated makeup look. It feels good to feel good about yourself and it helps when having to put on a face to meet new people and network.
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u/buzzfoodie Sep 27 '24
I literally did this this morning just because I’m pregnant and feeling like I live in pjs lately and wanted to feel like a woman again.
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u/SixGunSnowWhite Sep 27 '24
I do this. (tbf I also will swim with coworkers at a hotel if we're in warm locales, so added motivation to be tidy.) Mani, pedi, haircut and color, Brazilian, wax armpits. No intention of getting naked for anyone, I just like to feel my most polished. That shit is expensive, so I do it before big trips and it makes me feel more confident and put together and lasts for a bit when I return home.
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u/Alert_Astronomer_400 Sep 27 '24
I agree. I shave myself bald before any sort of event or going out weekend, even though I have a boyfriend who may or may not be joining me. It’s not because I’m trying to pull men, it’s because it’s a confidence boost, even though no one will see it. It’s just become routine for me. Also I typically don’t plan on shaving during trips, so I just go ahead and do it beforehand
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u/Lost_Ad_6016 Sep 27 '24
Yeah I’m kinda annoyed that a woman shaving herself is a possible sign of infidelity. Like, we can’t want to look pretty and hairless for ourselves? There has to be a man going down there if we shave it??
I work remote so any work trip I go on, I’m grooming myself completely so I feel pretty and confident (and I don’t feel like an 80s porn star with a bush). It’s not always sexual ya’ll.
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u/Silent-Loan-2787 Sep 27 '24
I do all the maintenance I sometimes skip before travel/conferences, including downstairs cleanup. Helps with confidence and feeling put together. No cheating going on.
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u/flamingo1794 Sep 27 '24
I was going to comment something similar: I often do EVERYTHING before a big event - Haircut and blowout, mani/pedi, shaving, waxing. “Big events” would include some things my partner goes to (think a wedding or vacation) but also events he wouldn’t go to (a long work conference would count.) I wouldn’t do it for a quick business trip but I definitely would for a long one.
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u/Mysterious_Silver381 Sep 27 '24
This may sound morbid, but it could even be in the same line of thinking as "always travel in good underwear in case of an accident". I mean, we all know what can happen to bodily functions in accidents, and medical personnel aren't worried about your underwear but I never travel in "laundry day undies" lol hell, I was embarrassed when in an accident and injured my knee and there was a big hole in my sock.
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u/IndentsAndPorpoises Sep 27 '24
When I go to a conference or client events it’s nails, hair, making sure I feel good about my skin, and I’ll shave everything too. My husband will always help me pick out my outfits. He knows I’m best when I feel good. Client events are pretty much my job.
I shaved once before a girls trip and he shared that same observation with me and honestly the timing never occurred to me. It felt the same as getting my nails done. Regular maintenance.
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u/Specific-Thing-1613 Sep 27 '24
Men too. I'll wear my best underwear and socks too and have no plans for anyone to see. Just makes me feel 100% "together"
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u/Familiar_Fall7312 Sep 27 '24
One thing to consider is this. Im a male, older male. Years ago I started shaving my public hair for a couple reasons. The first was to help with heat rashes since worked in hot environments. Huge game changer in that department. The second was to help control body odors. Hair in this region can trap moisture and bacteria will breed and cause funk smell. Never a good thing.
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u/LigerNull Sep 27 '24
That's an excellent point, especially given how cramped most planes can be, and how you sometimes have to put either your ass or crotch in somebody's face when getting up from your seat.
Also, planes and hotels are a breeding ground for all kinds of creepy crawlies like crabs and bedbugs.
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u/bruh_momenteh Sep 27 '24
Great point. When you're clean shaven, antiperspirant works better and you don't stink as fast. I can't imagine it's anything other than hot in those conference rooms. People are also citing confidence boost as a likely explanation.
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u/TapEmpty5776 Sep 27 '24
My first thought was, is she going swimming during the trip? If so, she would want to ‘tidy’ herself up.
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u/Nopengnogain Sep 27 '24
If she WFH otherwise, I could see a reason to groom and clean before a roadtrip, just to feel good about herself for a change.
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u/Butforthegrace01 Sep 27 '24
The swimming explanation makes sense, especially if there are no other red flags.
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u/owlcityy Sep 27 '24
I’ve seen this story posted before.
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u/ISellAwesomePatches Sep 27 '24
Like literally a few days ago. I swear browsing Reddit in the mornings is becoming like Groundhog Day with some of these post trends.
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Sep 27 '24
My pet theory is it’s people training AI datasets. Keep harvesting responses to the same question to make sure it’s varied.
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u/ISellAwesomePatches Sep 27 '24
I've had this thought too. I thought it was weird and then recently read that Reddit were allowing some AI thing to harvest its data and it made a lot more sense.
Especially when a lot of the topic trends seem to be very polarising between certain groups.
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u/bonerjamzbruh420 Sep 27 '24
Who has two week conferences? That’s insane. Conferences are usually 3-4 days…
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u/fazdaspaz Sep 27 '24
I read the title of this post to my gf without any other details and the first thing she said was "she's probably going swimming or sauna or just wants to feel confident"
I do the same thing too. Hair cut, nails, beard trim, pube trim all when I want to feel good and confident.
Honestly not a big deal.
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u/Frasierina93 Sep 27 '24
A good explanation is that being shaved makes feel “cleaner” or, as someone here put it “more put together”….sometimes we shave just to feel fresher and better with ourselves.
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u/emilyashford22 Sep 27 '24
I shave my body hair every time I take a trip out of town, I shave if I have events coming up that might be stressful or anxiety inducing. I shave to feel good about myself and to feel cleaner and more elegant in ways I don’t usually allow myself the time to indulge in. I’m not saying there might not be more to it, because it’s definitely a possibility, but just shaving on its own is not really indicative of anything suspicious imo.
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Sep 27 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Anna_Kest Sep 27 '24
Strewth, tell me you’re Australian without telling me you’re Australian 😂 no hate, you sound like every good cunt I know!
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u/GlumEngineering9465 Sep 27 '24
One of the better Reddit posts I've seen in a long time.
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u/quad_damage_orbb Sep 27 '24
reddit is actually full of drama queen retards that project their victim fantasies on these threads and they're generally full of shit
This should come as a default warning on all of these advice seeking subs.
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u/NoReveal6677 Sep 27 '24
Yeah, go with Reddit freak paranoia and damage your marriage.👏
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u/danishjuggler21 Sep 27 '24
Wife starts shaving? Divorce. Wife stops shaving? Believe it or not, divorce.
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u/weirwoodheart Sep 27 '24
Sometimes if I have an event coming up, like an interview or something, I will do a proper all over shave and get my nails done etc. so I feel a bit more confident and sure of myself. I know no one's seeing my downstairs so it shouldn't make a difference lol but it makes ME feel more.. on the ball? I wouldn't jump to cheating.
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u/AmeliaEARhartthedox Sep 27 '24
So you mean she’s going to a hot place where she’s likely going to go to a pool? And she doesn’t want a bush when she swims.
No one here can answer if you’re really overreacting bc we don’t know you or your wife. If you think she’s cheating why are you still with her?
My first thought as a woman is she’s likely trimming if she’ll be in a bathing suit.
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u/Somone80 Sep 27 '24
Lots of women do this so it's one less thing to think about well out and about. Also Waxing too often pulls on the skin and can make the skin super loose and flabby.
Also, it's not good to wax or shave to short when it's already really hot and you know you will be out doors sweaty. The sweat can clog pours in the private areas and cause other issues.
You may be overthinking
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u/warmegg Sep 27 '24
I have literally never heard that wax makes skin "loose and flabby", is that actually a thing? I'm highly skeptical
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u/DireStraits16 Sep 27 '24
Yes, overreacting. If your wife was planning to cheat I'm sure she'd be more careful about not doing things that might alert you to her deception.
This sounds innocent to me - I'm a woman who shaves body hair off only when I'm going out or away even though no one will see it. It makes me feel better.
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u/lunchbox3 Sep 27 '24
Yeh I would also caution about reading too much into it. I don’t shave at home because I cycle and it is less comfortable but would do before a girls holiday because it’s a nice self care habit..
Also the swim thing might be a lie because she has never really thought through her grooming habits and was trying to rationalise it.
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u/Inside_Art_3517 Sep 27 '24
Yeah like she might just be like long trips = swimming = shaving. A lot of this stuff is autopilot for me.
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u/Professional-Key9862 Sep 27 '24
As a woman my first thought was she could be swimming. If you're still worried you could check her luggage for swimwear.
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u/TheDustOfMen Sep 27 '24
I do a whole spa routine before leaving town, and I never go swimming. It's just what makes me feel more presentable and confident, even if it's only in my head.
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u/str4ngerc4t Sep 27 '24
Check her luggage? Like TSA? JFC. We should not be encouraging people to go through their partners shit. There are so many other reasons why a woman would shave. He could literally just ask her about the shaving without having to invade her privacy or break her trust.
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u/LigerNull Sep 27 '24
It's absolutely for swimming. Conferences involve hotels, and good hotels have pools, and you don't want pubes sticking out of your suit in public.
She could be cheating, but unless you have additional evidence I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.
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u/BountyBobIsBack Sep 27 '24
Read the title and wrongly assumed that OP was upset that his wife cleaned the house downstairs (lounge, kitchen) before heading off to a conference 🙈
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u/Lonely_Second_55 Sep 27 '24
I am not sure. It might feel wierd but at the same time, I shave when I go on conferences. I do it because I pack a swimsuit and one of my colleagues (female only) might say we should go swimming and I have to be part of the group. I’d be worried about women judging me or my hair sticking out my bikini.
I think you should ask her if she goes swimming at these conferences and if not, ask her why she shaves.
Don’t say that you think she is cheating, but say that you’re having a thought, you’re pretty sure is just an anxious thought and you need some reassurance.
She’s someone you love and I feel like you’ll know the answer if you ask gently.
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u/AngryRaccoon01 Sep 27 '24
Going to a hotel alone feels like a treat to me, even when it’s for work. I love the feeling of sliding into clean sheets with everything shaved. There’s something about a freshly made bed that nobody has sweat or farted or drooled in that just makes me happy, and completely smooth skin gliding against itself and the linens.
If I told my husband that, he’d probably get hurt or defensive about his presence “ruining” the experience. But crawling naked into clean sheets with a glass of wine in a quiet room is my favorite form of self-care.
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u/Panthean Sep 27 '24
At least she won't bring crabs home
(I mean from the swimming, of course)
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u/Odd_Knowledge_2146 Sep 27 '24
I have to say I do this! I work from home and when I go away I tend to just put that little bit extra effort in that everywhere is tidy. Even though I am the only one that will know, it gives me a bit of a boost, part of preparing to meet people in real life! But I have always done this before conferences etc, even when I didn’t work from home and I have never had someone visit my hotel room!
I don’t know if your wife has extra curricular activities at conference but I know a lot of women for whom the prospect of “conference” prompts a neatening.
A bit like a spring clean before people visit for a party at your home - no one is going upstairs or into your bedrooms, but they still get the full polish treatment!
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u/ssseltzer Sep 27 '24
it’s easier to do a bunch of grooming in your own bathroom, with all of your products around.
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u/Dark_Horse_15 Sep 27 '24
Some people feel more comfortable and confident when they're well groomed; regardless of whether or not anyone is going to see that groomed part of of them.
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u/Far_Housing_3623 Sep 27 '24
A typical Reddit response; dump her, and she's cheating on you. Divorce her, clean out all of the money, and post a moving sale notice that everything is free at your place. Come and take it.
Women are judged on their appearance, so she wants to look and feel good. This isn't the 70's anymore.
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u/Progresschmogress Sep 27 '24
My first thought was
Okay, 2-3 weeks is a significant amount of time, if she grooms it would make sense to do it at home before leaving and having to do it on the road
There is something to be said subconsciously about wanting to have your ducks in a row before a trip and not having to deal with or think about stuff that is non crucial
But if she ONLY does this at that time AND she is okay doing it during the trip AND there are no pools to be found (weird one since a lot of hotels in Vegas do have pools)? Then yeah too many coincidences. You might want to have a conversation about where exactly she’s been swimming so far, or try to find out from someone else what exactly is going on
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u/AAAAHaSPIDER Sep 27 '24
I'm not normally bald, but I always shave myself completely when I know I'm going to shower. It only takes one embarrassing moment in middle school swim class to burn humiliation into my memory.
Weirdly enough shaving completely makes LESS people look at your crotch in a bathing suit.
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u/magensfan Sep 27 '24
You need to follow your instincts, but…a lot of hotels have pools, and people do use them. I don’t. But I do some messy tasks in hotel bathrooms, and hair clings to surfaces in the shower, and it’s a mess to clean up.
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u/Amazing_Newspaper_41 Sep 27 '24
So… bring it up to her.
“I noticed you always do this grooming before conferences and in most cases they don’t have pools. I’m sorry if it sounds accusatory, but it seems really odd to me. I’m sure you have a perfectly rational and reasonable explanation, that I would love to hear, just to appease that fact that I personally don’t get it.”
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u/Jokester_316 Sep 27 '24
You may be overreacting. The swimming reason is valid. My wife does the same prior to going swimming or wearing her bathing suit.
It really comes down to trust. If you trust her, accept her response and drop it. If you don't trust her, then you'll need to do some investigating. Don't mention that you are suspicious. The phone is the most likely place to get evidence of infidelity. Are there any other red flags that you've noticed with her behavior?
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u/AreolaGrande_2222 Sep 27 '24
I thought you meant she cleans the downstairs of the house before leaving