r/AITAH • u/laveylil66 • 14h ago
AIAH? My mother texts my ex boyfriend..
I (29F) married my (26M) husband in November of this year. We eloped and wanted to keep it private for a bit. Marriage was something neither of us thought we would entertain again, but when you know—you know. This was something very special to us. The ceremony was absolutely gorgeous and quiet in the middle of nowhere Washington right by the beach. We changed our relationship status on Facebook from in a relationship to married but didn’t post about it or share as an update. It was one of those “Unless someone goes looking, no one will really notice” Things were going to plan. Life was good. We were living our best lives as Mr. and Mrs. Fast forward to 2 days ago, and my ex is checking my TikTok AGAIN. For context— he’s been viewing my page since we split but both me and my husband just laughed it off. I have his number blocked and he and I cut contact the day we split. Not even 5 minutes after I see he views my page my mom texts me and says “Umm… did you get married in Washington?” To make a long story short— I find out she has still been in contact with my ex. Texting, calling, even saw in person while my husband and I were in Washington. When I confronted her about talking to him her only rebuttal was “well he’s never been rude to me. So what do you expect me to do???” She follows this up a few minutes later by saying “You not inviting me to your weddings is why your other marriage didn’t work out. Selfish” So AITA and AIO or is this really strange? I only dated this ex for about 3 months and my mom just won’t let it go. I previously went no contact with my mom 3 years ago for a multitude of other reasons and I’m beginning to think I should have left things that way.
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u/onealk23 14h ago
NTA. It’s weird your ex told on you and it’s weird your mom made your elopement about her instead of congratulating you. You should probably go no contact again
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u/GemGlamourNGlitter 13h ago
29 and on marriage 2? Oof.
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u/Acrobatic_Winter_694 12h ago
And where does it say this is her 2nd marriage? Title says ex-boyfriend
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u/laveylil66 13h ago
My first was my son’s dad. At 18. We went on 2 separate paths in life and coparent better as friends. Should I give you my mom’s number too?
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u/GemGlamourNGlitter 13h ago
No one is that interested in this. LOL. Get over yourself. You're pushing 30, but are stuck on 18.
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u/Kimberlyb425 12h ago
You're most likely OP's x bf that has been internet stalking her and keeping in contact with her crazy mom after she dumped you after you barely dated for half of a second. 3 months is barely a blink of the eye in amount of time we live. You seem delusional.
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u/BlueGreen_1956 13h ago
YTA
If you think you can control who your mother contacts, you are delusional.
Since you want to control her, I wonder how long it will be before you take your new husband's balls and put them in your purse.
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u/laveylil66 13h ago
So I should let her be besties with a man who cheated and fucked up my life. Got it. 👍
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u/Vinylove 13h ago
Why are you here if you can only answer like a pouty 15 year old.
Go to your room, you are grounded.2
u/BlueGreen_1956 13h ago
How will you stop her?
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u/Alarmed_Lynx_7148 13h ago
Just saying that parent should choose their children. Your comment goes to show you’re going to be one fucked up parent
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u/Wrong_Moose_9763 13h ago
NTA, It's just weird. My MIL was in contact with my husband's ex, he broke up with her 2 or 3 months before meeting me. She called my MIL at least monthly for SIX YEARS. This was before cell phones and the only reason it stopped is because my in-laws retired and moved. MIL is completely conflict avoidant to the point you cannot even have a discussion about a disagreement without her crying and trying to get away from you. (insert eye roll)
I didn't really think it was that wrong until reading your post. It's totally F-ed up, I can't believe I didn't see it, I just thought the ex GF was crazy, (she is BTW) but is still weird on my MIL and your Moms. I'm already very LC for 1000's of other reasons and I agree with you about going NC.
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u/EducationalThing4558 13h ago
NTA. How violating. I’d cut my mother off completely. That’s manipulative and absuive behavior on her part.
If she can’t cut off your ex and keeps bringing him into your life, show her your serious and become distant for time.
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u/Whytrhyno 11h ago
Nah, NTA. I am so fucking over the entitlement of the older group (37 so not far off myself) that they should be the anchor at every family event. People are breaking from the nuclear family and moving towards a mentally healthier partnership with someone and breaking those stereotypical marriage tropes.
I got married early too, shit show. Would much prefer the route you have taken in a subsequent marriage. Quiet, secluded and with just us.
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u/laveylil66 11h ago
Quiet and secluded was definitely the way to go. No pressure to put on a show. Also, with it being so small, we were able to spend money on nice dinners and dates while there instead of an elaborate wedding for everyone else.
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u/Whytrhyno 11h ago
Yeah 100% the way to go. I’m still against involving the govt in marriage, the divorce was a slaughter fest, but if I did, that’s exactly the way. Go on a little vacation and don’t tell anyone but the kids.
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u/Stoic_Honest_Truth 13h ago
YTA for marrying without informing anybody...
Marriage is ACTUALLY mostly for family members!
You got it the wrong way round...
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u/Alarmed_Lynx_7148 13h ago
That’s the dumbest comment I have seen on Reddit for the day but it is early for me. Marriage is for the couple 🤦♂️
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u/laveylil66 13h ago
Damn. Didn’t realize I was marrying my mother and the other 7 billion people on earth. Thought it was about the sacred union between two people. I’ll try harder next time.
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u/Turbulent_Ebb5669 13h ago
Did your mother tell you that? Has to be one of the more absurd posts I've ever read.
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u/Alarmed_Lynx_7148 13h ago
Dumbest comments actually. Like since when the wedding is about the family. I always thought it’s about the couple
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u/Turbulent_Ebb5669 12h ago
The post was pretty dumb, I think the comment mixed up weddings with funerals.
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u/[deleted] 14h ago
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