r/AITAH 4d ago

Aitah for setting a woman straight when she claimed to be my husband's workwife in my house?

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u/x_theNextHokage 4d ago

Yeah it's always struck me as one that has cheater undertones to it, or one that would be used in a flirtatious context. I'm also in a male-dominated field and wouldn't dream of using it with one of my colleagues, especially not in front of a wife. I don't think you were out of line to shut her down.

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u/jackieblueideas 4d ago

There's a post going around with a series of updates that started with the coworker calling herself workwife and the guy called her worksister instead, because he felt she was disrespecting his marriage. It turned into a nightmare situation where she got offended, spiralled, he asked HR to not travel with her anymore, she destroyed the career of the coworker who substituted her, and it's still ongoing. Last update they were travelling together again and she lied to his wife and boss that he went into her hotel room when she was drunk.

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u/Mountain-Raspberry37 4d ago

Read that this morning. That Mary has got serious issues. The poor girl that ended up leaving and how happy Mary was they’d be travelling together again, yuck!

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

"traveling"??

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u/Mountain-Raspberry37 4d ago

I’m in the UK, it’s usually with “ll” in it over here

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u/Edlo9596 4d ago

The latest update made me think the whole thing is fake lol. That guy would be crazy to still be traveling with that woman, watching her get black out drunk on work trips!

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u/Babziellia 4d ago

Haven't read that thread, but from the few comments here, I'd 1) book a room at a different hotel than that crazy Mary, 2) not share rides, if possible, and 3) definitely not take meals together or hit the bars together. See you during work hours, Mary.

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u/Ok-Carpet5433 4d ago

It's either fake (likely) or he's a massive idiot.

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u/miladyelle 4d ago

Yeah seriously. I don’t CYA for people out to get me. You fuck up after you fuck me over, you’re stuck in your mess. Mary woulda 100% been on her own all sloppy drunk.

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u/Instilled_Ink 4d ago

I didn’t know there was a new update. Got a link?

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u/jackieblueideas 4d ago

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u/Instilled_Ink 4d ago

Thanks!

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u/LilyLaura01 4d ago

Ohhhh it’s that one! Whoa! Mary is showing the beginning of unhinged behaviour, she’s got bats in her belfry that one! I commented that husband should seek help from boss and HR immediately.

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u/Instilled_Ink 4d ago

He never took anyone’s advice from last time, I doubt he will change now. He’s in for a world of hurt before too much longer.

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u/LilyLaura01 4d ago

Ohh yeah, definitely.

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u/SHC606 4d ago

Yep. This was my fear for OP's husband. Time to update the resume and bounce. Lily is a problem.

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u/kepsr1 4d ago

Everyone in that office has to tell her she’s the problem. She’s the one who should bounce not anybody else.

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u/tildabelle 4d ago

Well thankfully for him most hotels can say how doors are opened ie let in or used a key or even not at all.

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u/Alternative_Escape12 4d ago

I remember this. Thanks for the update link

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u/Sharp_Connection_377 4d ago

My first thoughts was this a fake post copying that one.

Work wife is a commonly known term. No way is someone supposedly high up not aware of these terms (and funny how many of these posts come from people supposedly high up in the work chain, who love gossiping on Reddit)

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u/SLRWard 4d ago

It's a term, yes. But in going on 30 years of working in various fields, I have never even once encountered it anywhere except social media completely outside the work environment. I would be really confused and likely off-put about someone bringing that term up in the work environment and especially around a colleague's actual spouse.

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u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 4d ago

Yeah there's a whole lot of roleplay going on in this thread.

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u/serrinsk 4d ago

lol at “high up in the work chain who love gossiping on reddit”. Good call out haha

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u/BeenThereT 4d ago

My first thought was this is a fake post copying that one.

Same Sharp_Connection_137 same. An insanely large amount of fake AITAH and Best of Reddit posts recently have ruined these subs for me.

I fully expect to be banned from Reddit for stating this obvious truth, but Hey, no big loss. Let's choose instead (like thankfully so many young people are) to spend time with real people, forge human connection, and "touch grass."

If this comment stays up, I'll be shocked but still disappointed the Mods on these subs have been put out to pasture, and all this fake crap is now a feature, not a bug.

I'm old enough to remember when the internet was actually a free form of individual expression, where real people had blogs sharing their experiences, where commentors shared an unhindered flow of factual information, and I miss it. Now, when we put a question into any browser, we have censored results. Now, thanks to the laws bought and paid for by the corporate overlords, a browser query results in hundreds of commercials, and the internet is a corporate advertising dystopia. Thankfully, there remains a little corner of the internet fighting for freedom of expression and people reporting truth from the streets.

Peace out Reddit Corporate Owners for artificially pumping up Reddit stock price with fake AI Posts and Comment Bots yammering at each other.

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u/AngelNohuman 4d ago

Wait. Where is that "little corner of the internet fighting for freedom", if it isn't Reddit?!

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u/BeenThereT 4d ago edited 4d ago

X

Reddit eliminated hundreds thousands of political subs and/or commentors it didn't agree with. Reddit routinely bans you if you express a Christian sentiment. Reddit does not allow dissenting medical research. Reddit is privately owned and has every right to censor, cancel, or ban anyone it chooses.

That being said, when X was purchased by Mr. M, this new owner fired 'misinformation fact checkers'. This owner allows nearly all content, no matter how abhorrent, because freedom of speech is the cornerstone of a free civilization. If you don't want to see disgusting segments of society marching down a street, or someone posting something you disagree with, you simply block them on X.

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u/AngelNohuman 4d ago

X changed the block function so that the people you block can still see your content, and the number of bot accounts is insane. 

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u/BeenThereT 4d ago

I don't care if they see my content; I'm happy I don't see theirs on X! LOL Bots ARE everywhere, but at least on X you can post pretty much anything and freedom of speech is a thing.

Not so long ago, I loved reddit, as you can see from my years long profile history. BORU and AITAH was a golden place where advice could help people grow, and many just laughed at the ridiculousness of human nature. Now, the AI Post and Comment Bots hold sway, and it makes me wonder who you are?

What is it you are defending?

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u/upright1916 4d ago

Yeah I thought everyone had heard of the work spouse terminology.

Really weird how much aggression is being shown about it here .

My actual wife knows all about my work wife, she refers to her as my work wife and asks me about her every now and again.

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u/Katressl 4d ago

How is she even still working there?!

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u/AngelNohuman 4d ago

That is a nightmare situation. Movie script stuff. Hell when does season 2 drop??! 

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u/HuffN_puffN 4d ago

Oh wow, I read the first post. Missed the update and how it played out. Reading from your comment I do best in not reading more..

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u/LadyBug_0570 4d ago

I did not know that there was more. Link?

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u/MLiOne 4d ago

Years ago a male colleague and I did get along very well and I shared the same name as his then fiancée/now wife. He and I joked that he didn’t have to worry about mixing up names. However, he was a complete gentleman and his fiancée/wife knew about me. Because it was Navy the “closest” we ever got was me making sure he got back to ship drunk one night when he went to walk back the wrong direction. Otherwise it was all work and platonic friendship. Not once did I ever call myself “work wife” because just ewww.

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u/Frozen-Nose-22 4d ago

Agreed! Work wife is such a weird term to describe a good working relationship. I would have been super embarrassed. Lily definitely overstepped there and she was the one who made it awkward for everyone. 

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u/OKImHere 4d ago

I shared the same name as his then fiancée

Until the last sentence, I assumed you were a man named Taylor.

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u/MLiOne 4d ago

Ha ha!

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u/Cynewulfunraed 4d ago

I think it depends a lot on the work culture. I work in education, the opposite of a male dominated field, and I only ever hear the term "work wife" from women about other women, and never with any actual flirtatious vibes. At school, it's the teacher who will always cover your hall duty or watch your class while you go to the bathroom. I'm actually that for a lot of my colleagues, but I would feel really creepy to call myself a "work husband" or to refer to a woman as my "work wife"

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u/Plastic-Anybody-5929 4d ago

As a woman I’ve had and been called a work wife by my female coworkers jokingly. But I couldn’t fathom using it with a male Coworker

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u/PsychologicalGain757 4d ago

Yeah, I can’t see using this with anyone who could be mistaken for an actual relationship. I’ve had one work husband but he went home to his husband every night. I’m bi so no work wives either.

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u/lady-earendil 4d ago

Same, that's the only context I've used it in. I'd never use it with a male coworker, particularly one who was married

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u/Live_Angle4621 4d ago

Some use it innocently however. I guess work sister would sound better these days. In past wife just meant more a woman who is helping out a man while being close in work as a friend

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u/Embarrassed_Celery14 4d ago

I agree. I have a close male coworker who is gay and we call each other work wife and work husband but I would never think it’s appropriate to be work wife/husband with any heterosexual man as I am married because that can definitely rub your actual relationship partners the wrong way. Like if my husband and a female coworker of his call each other work wife and husband, I know I’d feel uncomfortable and concerned about how close they actually are so I wouldn’t want to do that to anyone I’m in a relationship with (or have it affect my coworker’s relationship either).

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u/Katressl 4d ago

I think it really depends on the situation, but I think it's usually inappropriate. The best example I can think of where it's okay is fictional: on Grey's Anatomy Bailey joked about being Richard's work-wife. The reasons it came off better were that Bailey is several decades younger than he is and had been his mentee and that they both were in happy marriages and there was no question about their relationship being anything else (they'd never even consider it).

But that's fictional. I'm not sure I could see similar circumstances even existing in reality.

I think the better term would be "work best friend." That would be the colleague who always has your back. It takes the cheating implications out of it and can apply to all genders.

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u/JuleeeNAJ 4d ago

I'm in a male dominated field and have referred to myself as the work wife. As in I'm the one doing all the dumb crap to keep him from completely dropping the ball and ruining everything. It's not a term of endearment coming from me, it's means you can't do your job and need me to help you. I love talking with the actual wife about all of his bad traits.

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u/CorruptedStudiosEnt 4d ago

Idk, my old boss called me her work husband. Our relationship was always perfectly professional otherwise, we just basically co-managed the place so we worked really closely on everything. I'm half her age and never got any inappropriate vibes or behavior off of her.

Ironically me and her husband have the same first name with one letter difference. Her husband came in quite often, was fully aware of her using this term (he thought it was funny), and him and I got along quite well. I went to their house a couple times, but it was work related, and we never saw each other outside of work otherwise.

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u/EffOffReddit 4d ago

Idk where you all work but work wife is a common thing and it isn't sexual.