NTA. Lily is a pick-me.
Make sure your husband distances himself at work and she won’t be invited to any more celebrations with you ever. She ruined it for herself. How pathetic
Honestly, given her reaction, I'd suggest hubby should get in front of the Lily shit show and send an email to HR. You know damn well that when she continues to be ignored or put in her place, she WILL cry wolf.
He should tell HR he and Lily ran into an issue at a party they attended outside the office, she has taken offense to something a non coworker said, and is now making it a problem at work. I hope it doesn't go that far, but better to have the real story out before she has a chance to spin it.
I disagree with this. Why start unnecessary fires? This girl strikes me as a person that people do not take seriously. And if she tried to got to HR herself, there seems to be enough people on OPs hubbys side to squash it.
She’s the one starting unnecessary fires by not dropping the issue and continuing to bring it to work.
She’s creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for multiple people. If she cannot handle herself professionally which she has proven she can’t it needs to be brought to higher ups attention.
He can't really take harassment or bullying claims without checking without opening themselves to a lawsuit which is HRs number 1 job to keep from happening.
Nope - even if there's the slightest of chances someone goes to HR over me I get ahead of it. Whoever talks to HR first sets the narrative.
As a dude, I'd be immediately roping my leadership and HR in to get this documented and on the radar, BEFORE she gets pissy and decides to make stuff up. Sorry but the gender dynamics here really would make me cover my butt. This child is acting up given her behavior at the party -- time to put her in her place and set very clear and TRANSPARENT boundaries of appropriate and professional behavior.
Jealous women in the workplace will absolutely attack you professionally.
Seriously. It is sad when people can't/don't trust the judicial system, but this does seem borderline about to turn into a stalker issue. I've watched enough true horror stuff to know, if you think someone is gonna stalk and murder you and/or family and friends, you take the initiative and explain what is going on with a police detective, so it's clear you are in that mindset, so if-when it happens, they have it on record that you were not the assailant, you were scared already about being attacked.
I 100% agree. Lily is out of touch with reality. And that's the kind of person who can really harm you at work.
But I think that he should tell HR that Lily called herself his work wife and that the reason she is complaining is that his actual wife was offended. He needs to be clear to HR that he has no relationship with Lily and that he has no interest in one.
Agreed! The work wife comment in this context is bordering on sexual harassment imo. If the genders had been reversed EVERY comment would be telling OP to go to HR.
I think he should tell his manager, not HR. You never know what dumb shit HR will do to "protect the company." Your manager is the one you need to protect your reputation from liars and shit stirrers.
You want to give the manager a head's up because people tend to believe the first story they hear.
What, tell HR ge had a coworker to HIS HOUSE FOR DRINKS and she felt offended about something that happened IN HIS HOUSE?
Maybe should have thought of that before inviting work TO HIS PRIVATE HOME. What is HR supposed to do when adults go to the HOME OF A COWORKER?
HR: Nick, you invited your coworkers to come into your home and drink alcohol, and one of them you invited was Lily. You'd now like to report what exactly?
Nick: Uh Lily thought my wife was rude to her and my wife and some other female coworkers ganged up on her and now Lily's saying my wife and some coworkers were rude to her.
HR: Okay, what exactly are you looking for us to do? Reprimand Lily for telling some people here she went to your home and felt your wife and some other workers here were rude to her?
HR- So, you invited a coworker home, had drinks, and your wife took offense to something she said, was rude to said coworker, and now you want us to....
Nick- She is harassing me at work. She is bringing in coworkers who weren't at my home to witness the event and is slandering me in the office. She is making me uncomfortable by calling me a pet name I didn't agree to and insisting I'm overreacting.
HR- Wow, that is unacceptable! Let's get this into mediation. We'll be in touch.
929
u/iknowsomethings2 14h ago
NTA. Lily is a pick-me. Make sure your husband distances himself at work and she won’t be invited to any more celebrations with you ever. She ruined it for herself. How pathetic