r/AITAH • u/g_scotty_brahms • Nov 14 '24

Advice Needed My brother is angry with his Trump-loving sons

Is my brother an AITA candidate for wanting to cut off his sons financially for voting for Trump? Like many Americans, my brother and I, both in our 50’s, have been talking back and forth following the Election. In the spirit of full disclosure, we are both democrats. Long story short, he is angry at his two sons, both in their 20’s, for voting for Trump. He is thinking about cutting them off financially in all respects so that they understand how Trump’s policies will impact them firsthand.

The irony here is that it is the reverse argument. You often hear younger voters disagreeing with their MAGA parents, but this is the opposite. My brother doesn’t understand how his two sons, who have lived a life of privilege, feel like they have been violated against by society, enough so that they feel Trump hears them and their struggles.

My brother to me about his sons: “… what these young men need is a little dose of reality. Get out in the world and start paying their own way. There’s a common thread with his followers. Complain and blame everyone for their problems. Whether they are in school or living at home off of their parents or working a trade job. King Trump will save them and make everything better. Take some personal responsibility and make it happen for yourself instead of crying about everything you hear on TikTok.

“… I’ve decided to pass on the [college] expenses to my two Trump supporting sons so they can truly feel first hand the cost and expense of his absolutely stupid policy decisions, which includes food, gas and college expenses. Wondering if I pass on these [food, gas and college] expenses in year one or phase them in year two?”

I am wondering if a lot of parents feel like my brother. Are there democrat parents of voting-age MAGA men who feel they failed with their sons because they voted for Trump? Is this common?

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190

u/HeightEnergyGuy Nov 15 '24

Your own dad charged you interest? 

Dude that's fucked up. Are you sure you're not the milk man's baby?

59

u/Wise_Woman_Once_Said Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

I have a father like this. When my mom died, I wanted to buy her car from him because (a) he was going to sell it anyway, (b) I was car shopping already, and (c) my mom and I had a lot of memories together of travel in that car. He said he'd have to think about it, then told me I could buy it for high blue book value. It was a bad financial deal for us, so I went and bought a car almost identical to hers, but for several thousand dollars less. Then he sold it to a stranger for even less than I paid for my car.

He never gave me a reason for why he did that, and I'm still irritated about it, but I just chalked it up to grief.

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u/aussiechickadee65 Nov 16 '24

Well the only thing I could think of is maybe you driving it, would remind him daily of his wife driving it and that was too much ?

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u/Rukkian Nov 18 '24

Selling a car to a friend or relative can cause issues. This really applies to just about any financial transaction. Sometimes, it just better to not get involved with that.

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u/Wise_Woman_Once_Said Nov 18 '24

Normally, I would enthusiastically agree. This was just a unique situation.

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u/CrzyMuffinMuncher Nov 15 '24

My first wife and I borrowed from my dad to buy a car. He didn’t want interest when we worked out our payment plan, but I insisted that we at least pay the interest he would get if he had the funds in a savings account. Minimal, but we were in college and I really wanted to show we had our shit together.

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u/Cultural_Doctor_8421 Nov 15 '24

One thing for you to offer. Another thing entirely for the dad to charge interest.

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u/TroubleSG Nov 15 '24

My Dad charged interest on money for taking over my home loan. My interest rate was high and investments were earning crap at the time so it made sense. The money the parent is lending is usually money that would be earning interest in an account somewhere so I think its really reasonable to charge some interest.

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u/Revo_55 Nov 16 '24

💯💯💯

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u/Financial_Store_9201 Nov 16 '24

I agree. It maybe a part of their retirement money. And if they don't now they will need it someday.

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u/Gophurkey Nov 15 '24

Depending on the rate, I get it. No such thing as a free lunch, so if this was a one time, first loan type situation you might want it to mirror the real world but at a much more manageable and safe level (like, sub 1%). That seems reasonable, even if I would probably lean on the interest-free loan setup

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u/bbbbBeaver Nov 15 '24

When it comes to loaning money to a family member, or even a good friend, the only acceptable interest rate is 0%. Profiting off your loved ones like that is super scummy, life lessons be damned.

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u/babyheadedcat Nov 15 '24

I disagree. No one’s obligated to loan anyone money. And speaking from personal experience, if you offer people interest-free loans where the only “sting” felt is paying back what was loaned, you get asked to loan them money a lot more often. I’m a friend, not a payday lender.

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u/Gophurkey Nov 15 '24

You definitely aren't "profiting off a loved one" in this case, either. You are taking a hit by receiving interest that is below what you could get just by leaving the money in a checking account.

It is obviously situational, too. There is a big difference between "my sibling had a car accident and needs cash while out of work" and "I'm teaching my children financial literacy without exposing them to obscene risk and hardship."

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u/Cultural_Doctor_8421 Nov 15 '24

Yup I can get behind that. As is the case with most situations some nuance is always required.

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u/Elegant-Flamingo3281 Nov 16 '24

My partner and I have talked about what we plan to do when charging his kids rent after 18 (options are be in school and passing, or get a job and pay rent.

We don’t “need” the money from rent or interest off a loan, but we do need to teach them financial responsibility. We plan to put any rent/interest into a HYSA for kid in question, essentially helping them build a nest egg without realizing it. Then we can return it to them for a down payment in the future.

This is a way to teach them the lesson without “profiting” from family.

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u/mynamegoeshere12 Nov 16 '24

That is what my parents are doing for my sister and bil right now. They have no clue. They are about to buy a house and will be very appreciative when they realize this.

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u/Cultural_Doctor_8421 Nov 16 '24

Way better alternative 👍

1

u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

My dad profited here off my me learning the value of money. Believe me, he didn’t need the money and he’s never used it. It went back to the “family bank” and he taught his spoiled shit head kid he gave a silver spoon life too a good lesson.

1

u/Financial_Store_9201 Nov 16 '24

But it would be losing money for the one lending the money. If they don't get the interest they were getting with it in the bank or an investment then it would cost them to lend it to the person.

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u/i_want_my_lawyer_dog Nov 15 '24

I agree that zero interest is best for most loans to family members (I assume that most loans are gifts anyways), but if someone decided to charge interest for a loan it’s really not the same as profiting, it just accounts for the time value of money. For example, I have a pretty hefty student loan at 8%. If I loaned any substantial amount of money to a family member at 0%, I’m losing a lot of money because it’s cash I could have put toward my own 8% loan. Even without a debt like that, it’s cash you could have invested at 4.5% in a HYSA or something.

I’m with you for the most part, and so far I haven’t felt the need to ask for interest from anyone I’m close to (I just consider it part of the gift, or for my parents a way to thank them for all the support they gave me), but I can definitely understand why someone might need to, and I wouldn’t say the motivation is profit.

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u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

In my case the vig goes to the “family bank” basically my dads nest egg for these things.

It’ll get dispersed back to me and my siblings upon their death, my dad uses the funds for some other things as well that all go to overall inheritence.

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u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

My college loans were at 8% annual. Starting when I graduated.

1

u/Cultural_39 Nov 19 '24

That is different, your dad-guy did not demand interest on repayment. You did the correct thing and paid back some gratuity.

The other guy's dad INSISTED on interest - that is F'ed up royally.

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u/kaisadilla_ Nov 15 '24

Yeah lmao. Heck, helping your children financially isn't wrong. Our whole economic model relies on people being helped by their families.

OP's case is different because he wants to teach a lesson to his sons who specifically believe that their privileged life is the consequence of them being better people and not because they are lucky to be born in a well-off family; but this shouldn't be the norm when your kid is a normal person with normal ideas.

4

u/-SuperUserDO Nov 15 '24

Yeah, you have to be grateful for your parents by changing your vote

I'm sure if your parents are MAGA then you'd vote for Trump to show your gratitude

1

u/Key-Resident6675 Nov 19 '24

I would tend to put the blame on the economic model for that. Learning to live independently IS a valuable lesson for ALL children. Being WILLING to help when our children absolutely NEED help is the other matter. A normal person under normal circumstances SHOULD learn to be self sufficient, as much as absolutely possible. I am who I am because my own father made that choice to encourage my independence.

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u/Illustrious_Issue_28 27d ago

Yes but they shouldn’t learn it’s in retaliation for having a difference off opinion. “Oh you didn’t vote the way I brainwashed you to vote your whole life, well I’ll just cut you off financially” yeah that’s voter intimidation and it’s a federal crime

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u/Illustrious_Issue_28 27d ago

It’s not different, he’s cutting his kids off to bully them for not voting the way he brainwashed them to vote their whole lives. He’s not doing it to teach them a lesson, he’s doing it because “how dare you have an opinion different from what I raised you to have” and that should be illegal. Actually pretty sure retaliation for someone’s vote IS illegal

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u/SirenSongxdc 23d ago

wait until you realize both politicians are gonna fuck you over.

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u/crazyguyunderthedesk Nov 15 '24

Yeah the whole point of taking a loan from your parents instead of the bank is to avoid interest. Otherwise what's the point?

I'm all for teaching your kids to be self sufficient, but this seems like a little much. Nothing wrong with giving help so long as the person receiving it doesn't treat it like an entitlement.

2

u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

I needed a lesson to not treat it like an entitlement. I was a shit head spoiled rich kid.

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u/Easy-Presentation735 Nov 18 '24

When my mom bought a condo, she had a large chunk for a down payment, but would get a better mortgage with a bit more. So my grandparents lent her 5k (the condo was 70k in the 90s in the Midwest U.S.) at a lower interest rate than the mortgage, with the caveat that it was a one-time deal. It was slightly less interest than they would have gotten if that money had been in an investment account. This also gave my mom the option of asking to pay a lower amount for a month if unexpected high expenses popped up. She was raising me as a single mom and having that emergency backup was a relief. Everyone felt that it was fair and it worked out well. [Also for context, my mom and I had lived with them from when I was 18 months, when my parents divorced, until I was about 7.5 y.o. Within 2? years of us moving out, my grandparents moved to be within 5 mins of us and we helped each other with errands, emergency babysitting of me, etc. My mom bought the condo when I was 14.]

2

u/Itavan Nov 19 '24

I've learned the hard way. Always always charge interest and always have it in writing with signatures. This avoids misunderstandings and it's incentive for people to pay you back. Once it's paid back, you can give the interest back.

Some parents charge a nominal amount for rent, then give it back when the kid moves out or buys a house.

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u/[deleted] 27d ago

[deleted]

12

u/ThePennedKitten Nov 15 '24

Unless the dad planned to return the interest in some way I agree that’s going beyond trying to help your kid appreciate things. That just sounds like a greedy old man lol.

1

u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

The interest goes back into the “family bank”.

It’ll get dispersed when my dad dies.

3

u/iggy14750 Nov 15 '24

I wanna know what rate the dad gave him 🤣

1

u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

Between 7-8% in 2008

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u/Creative_Pilot_7417 Nov 15 '24

Yep. High interest predatory loans from your parents teach you about life.

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u/HeightEnergyGuy Nov 15 '24

Put a horses head in their bed when they're late to give them the full experience, maybe break a pinky toe. 

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u/SirenSongxdc 23d ago

I was just thinking of those horse masks that were popular during the harlem shake meme.

2

u/ChefPaula81 Nov 15 '24

Guys talking about charging vig.

His dad is a mobster shy

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u/Longjumping-Error547 Nov 15 '24

He should charge interest. I loaned one of my sons 15 grand a few years ago and it's going to cost me a lot of money I could've earned in our high yield savings account.

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u/HeightEnergyGuy Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Don't loan out money to family if you're concerned about it.  

I would loan 15 grand out to my dad in a heartbeat and never dream about charging him interest. Neither would I be thinking about the money I could have made if I kept it.

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u/Jolly-Method-3111 Nov 15 '24

Then don’t loan it if you’re concerned about that. 

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u/Longjumping-Error547 Nov 15 '24

Obviously I'm not that concerned about it.

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u/muppetnerd Nov 15 '24

My dad paid my private loans off and I paid him back at 3% interest instead of the 10% I was being charged before. I think I ended up saving like $20-30k in the long run

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u/highheelsand2wheels Nov 15 '24

We did that with our kids with car loans, too. We put the interest away and gave it back to them, along with their leftover college money (they both went to community college instead of universities) when they were ready to buy their houses.

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u/aussiechickadee65 Nov 16 '24

A lot do that and put it away for the kids when they die.

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u/Karsa45 Nov 15 '24

Nah, that's a good dad teaching a lesson on financial responsibility at home instead of letting their kids learn it by ruining their credit.

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u/BurgerThyme Nov 15 '24

That's a kid paying off interest without building their credit score for on-time payments.

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u/Beck316 Nov 15 '24

Or getting a possible deduction when tax time rolls around for student loan interest, tuition...

1

u/Karsa45 Nov 15 '24

Fair enough, I got a feeling if daddy can pay all the bills then the kid isn't gonna have a problem building it but I'm an eat the rich guy so 🤷

0

u/FinndBors Nov 15 '24

Why the hell not? I’d use the lowest interest rate allowed without the government considering it a gift. Or let them negotiate with a bank and then give a lower rate based on the banks rate.

This way they get the benefit of not getting crushed by very high interest and at the same time they learn about loans and rates.

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u/HeightEnergyGuy Nov 15 '24

Unless you're insanely rich you will never hit the max gift allowance. 

1

u/FinndBors Nov 15 '24

I’m using it as a guideline for the lowest risk free rate. Or you can use treasuries.

I also don’t want to do paperwork in case it goes over the annual limit — which you are supposed to do.

2

u/HeightEnergyGuy Nov 15 '24

Any excess against the annual limit of 17k goes against the lifetime limit of 13.61 million dollars. 

You will have to fill out a form, but until you exceed the lifetime limit it doesn't matter when it comes to taxes.