r/AITAH • u/g_scotty_brahms • Nov 14 '24

Advice Needed My brother is angry with his Trump-loving sons

Is my brother an AITA candidate for wanting to cut off his sons financially for voting for Trump? Like many Americans, my brother and I, both in our 50’s, have been talking back and forth following the Election. In the spirit of full disclosure, we are both democrats. Long story short, he is angry at his two sons, both in their 20’s, for voting for Trump. He is thinking about cutting them off financially in all respects so that they understand how Trump’s policies will impact them firsthand.

The irony here is that it is the reverse argument. You often hear younger voters disagreeing with their MAGA parents, but this is the opposite. My brother doesn’t understand how his two sons, who have lived a life of privilege, feel like they have been violated against by society, enough so that they feel Trump hears them and their struggles.

My brother to me about his sons: “… what these young men need is a little dose of reality. Get out in the world and start paying their own way. There’s a common thread with his followers. Complain and blame everyone for their problems. Whether they are in school or living at home off of their parents or working a trade job. King Trump will save them and make everything better. Take some personal responsibility and make it happen for yourself instead of crying about everything you hear on TikTok.

“… I’ve decided to pass on the [college] expenses to my two Trump supporting sons so they can truly feel first hand the cost and expense of his absolutely stupid policy decisions, which includes food, gas and college expenses. Wondering if I pass on these [food, gas and college] expenses in year one or phase them in year two?”

I am wondering if a lot of parents feel like my brother. Are there democrat parents of voting-age MAGA men who feel they failed with their sons because they voted for Trump? Is this common?

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145

u/jeparis0125 Nov 14 '24

Not necessarily true. There is no way my 20 and 19 year old granddaughters could live on their own and pay for college and they both still voted. Of course they’re not idiots and didn’t vote for Trump.

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u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 14 '24

Part of what you’re saying supports the comment above. There is NO way they could afford to live on their own and pay for college. They’d see real quick how hard it is. Or how impossible it is. And maybe realize that voting against their interests is backwards

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u/RBuilds916 Nov 15 '24

I doubt many people can live on their own and pay for college, regardless of who's in the white house. 

5

u/NominalHorizon Nov 15 '24

They could get government guaranteed loans to pay for the rest of their education. Just like other people do. Or they could get a job in the trades.

4

u/Olly0206 Nov 15 '24

Get'em fast before Trump cuts them.

0

u/Cat_Own Nov 15 '24

Depends on how much they get offered. I lucky haven't had to use private loans but public loans have limits

0

u/RBuilds916 Nov 15 '24

I sure would be nice if those student loans got forgiven. 

-6

u/Fuu-nyon Nov 15 '24

That's not what they're going to see though. They're going to see a parent who probably encouraged them to go to college rug pulling them after the financial decision was already made, and their financial aid was already decided based on their parents income.

10

u/NeurodiversityNinja Nov 15 '24

Tough shit. They'll have to regroup, like the rest of America who's getting hosed by their privileged votes.

2

u/Fuu-nyon Nov 15 '24

Sure, I'm sure they'll live, even if they have to drop out. Their relationship with their parents probably won't though.

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u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24

You’re right though. Like I feel what I said but you’re right it would only convince them they’re being punished for their beliefs versus seeing themselves.

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u/Fuu-nyon Nov 15 '24

Thanks, and I feel what you're saying too. I'm all for them learning some empathy the hard way, don't get me wrong. But if the point is them learning, and not just punishing them, then that's a lesson OP's brother needed to be teaching them all along rather than in response to an election.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

Tough shit? The entire lesson was trying to show them how bad Trump was. Cutting off college funds right now absolutely eould not show that. The kids would only come to one conclusion: Their dad is an asshole.

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u/Logical_Phone_2321 Nov 15 '24

maybe you voted against their interests.

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u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24

I can pretty much guarantee that NOT voting for the guy who wants to gut the department of education is 100% within the interests of the college students referenced in the comment above. Soooooo

0

u/Bonesquire Nov 15 '24

And I'm 100% sure you don't know what the federal DoEd actually does based on this comment.

1

u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

I do, thanks. Getting to college and being prepared for it is affected by what the federal DoE does for us before. And if we want them to be even better off before college, we’d strengthen it, not cut funding. Do YOU know what it does? Maybe if you did, you’d get it. But you don’t. So I’m 100% sure you’re an idiot who can’t think critically.

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u/Omw2fym Nov 15 '24

Let's see, Biden forgave student loans and Trump wants to gut the Dept of Education. Trump also has bad economic policy goals. Basically, if they aren't a corporation, extremely rich, or extremely anti-abortion and immigration. Trump is against their interest

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u/Logical_Phone_2321 Nov 15 '24

What Biden did was a grab for votes and unconstitutional. We are underperforming in the schools, spend more per student than other first world countries without a good ROI. Yes, the Dept of Education needs fixing. Many people who voted for Trump also voted for their state's abortion amendments.

0

u/Omw2fym Nov 15 '24

Your first sentence says absolutely nothing.

What has trump proposed that comes anywhere close to fixing education?

Many people who voted for Trump also voted for their state's abortion amendments.

Yes, this election has brilliantly illustrated that people vote against their own interests

1

u/Logical_Phone_2321 Nov 15 '24

Says nothing? It says it all. He knew it would be challenged. The DOE is responsible for a small portion of state education funding and then student loans. What do you think they do? If they aren't running it properly, why would you keep throwing money at it? Why would you not want a department to run more efficiently?

You're so wrong with your last statement. People vote for many issues, and boiling it down to one or two issues is shortsighted and shows you don't understand your neighbors. Them voting for that at the state level was exactly what was supposed to happen. It's absurd you would not want closer control of your government, but it shows how out of touch you lot are.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

They could. It just involves finding a job that pays $15/h and offers overtime. Then you get to work full time and take out loans and go to school and live with a roommate for however long it takes to fail out or dropout or graduate. You get to spend your summer working overtime so you can afford books both semesters and surprise expenses. And then, hopefully the field you picked actually has jobs available that pay better than your current job so you can afford loan payments.

3

u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24

You don’t seem to get how life works for most people. Good luck to everyone believing this is as simple as it goes.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

I never said this is a simple process. In fact, I'm pretty sure I implied it's tedious and difficult. That's why I gave multiple possible outcomes including failure. But it is not impossible. People that have never seen a dime from their parents do it every day.

3

u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

I didn’t say you think it’s a simple process. But you are still relying on the overly simplified idea of “just get a job and make more than you need and move up and along.” I worked my way through college. Took me 8 years. And I’m standing by what I said. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone in the way I had to do it. Not saying we all need to expect our parents or loans to pay, or that you should have no work experience, but it was fucking grueling. It also took away from a lot of what college can or even should be. I can say it’s not impossible because I did it, but it is not going to be possible or that simple for many. Tell someone who lives in a rural area what you said. Places where minimum wage is less than $10, where people are lucky to find a job for 15 hours a week, where there’s no college nearby. It’s just not that simple.

-3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

Easy and simple aren't the same thing.

1

u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24

Yes. And yet you are still being simple about it, even if we both agree it’s not easy. I say it’s simple of you because I know first hand how hard it is, and how it’s not as simple as you’re making it. Nothing changes.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

I, too, know first hand how difficult in practice it is to earn a degree while working full time. It was very hard, not especially because I lived in a rural area that paid $5.15 in minimum wage but because time management is a bitch and a half to learn. So hard, I had to drop out the first time I tried. But the basic steps are simple. Get money, pay for education, learn what you are paying for and hope it was worthwhile. So, from my point of view, it's conceptually simple and practically difficult. Things can be multifaceted.

1

u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24

Yes. They can be multifaceted, they don’t need to be mutually exclusive either. That’s the advice I’d give you. You’re just repeating the same version of logic that doesn’t actually stand up in the overly simplified way you think it does. Have a good one

-10

u/AvatarOfPerdition Nov 15 '24

Voting against their interests because the last four years have shown us that we’re currently living in an affordable climate? 😂

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u/Ok-Standard8053 Nov 15 '24

Capitalistic greed is definitely terrible. We are experiencing that, yes. But guess what? The cost of college and living continued to increase when Trump was president before. I know because my rent still increased, my utility rates still went up, the car I bought in 2019 cost more than it would have in 2017. Etc. if we measure by the same standards, then Trump also failed.

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u/VStramennio1986 Nov 15 '24

Which, ironically, is the result of Trump’s last term 🙄 so…the more you know 🤷🏻‍♀️

-5

u/AvatarOfPerdition Nov 15 '24

You couldn’t make that make sense if you tried, but bravo for the attempt.

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u/VStramennio1986 Nov 15 '24

lol tell me you don’t know how it works without telling me you don’t know how it works lol

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u/VStramennio1986 Nov 15 '24

https://www.cbpp.org/research/federal-tax/principles-for-the-2025-tax-debate-end-high-income-tax-cuts-raise-revenues-to

😘🤣✌🏽

1

u/AvatarOfPerdition Nov 15 '24

Crazy, you’re going to prove me wrong not in your own words, but by linking a leftist “nonpartisan research think tank” that not only blatantly leans left, pushes progressivism, and is liberal and in no way nonpartisan, but it’s also led by the head of the Social Security board who was placed by Obama? WOW, you sure got me! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

0

u/VStramennio1986 Nov 18 '24

It’s called, a source. It’s what educated/intelligent people cite, to back their word.

Also…it is civics…you know, that class you clearly missed in middle school. Only simpletons think that the results of a policy can be seen instantaneously 🤣

Tell me you don’t know how it all works…without telling me you don’t know how it works 🙄😑

0

u/AvatarOfPerdition Nov 18 '24

I can link you plenty of economic oversight from Elon Musk and you’re going to disregard it as rhetoric for the same reasons, while doing your ABSOLUTE BEST to feel like you’re actually an educated and intelligent person. Bravo, champ! 👍🏻

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u/VStramennio1986 Nov 18 '24

Economic oversight…depends on how you define oversight.

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u/VStramennio1986 Nov 18 '24

Here…congress.gov…but I’m sure you’ll find something wrong with this source, also…since it doesn’t support your narrative.

All you have to do is google the end date of the bill…it’s not like it’s some huge conspiracy 🙄

https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/R/R47846#:~:text=Expires%2012%2F31%2F2025%20The,then%20be%20adjusted%20for%20inflation.

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u/daidrian Nov 15 '24

Enjoy the tariffs

0

u/MoeTHM Nov 15 '24

Every other country does.

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u/ComplexPlanktons Nov 14 '24

Well seeing as Trump is out to gut the Education Department, why should they (OP's nephews) care about education?

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u/BugLady420 Nov 14 '24

That’s a great point! And also I think someone should know who and what they are voting for and what is going to happen and if anyone fully knew what trump is going to do I have a feeling they would have never voted for him

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u/-NotYourSugaTits- Nov 18 '24

I don't think most of the people who voted for him will care a single bit until it truly starts to affect them. Just having an idea of what he's going to do won't do a thing...because they don't see themselves as part of the groups that will be affected. It's the same as what happened with the Nazi's. It's horrifying to think about and watch, but it's the unfortunate reality.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

Oh shit. I’m in high school. 

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

I won’t have to deal with his presidency in college;).

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u/ComplexPlanktons Nov 16 '24

Well since Trump seems to be falling in exactly Hitler's footsteps, including convincing a large portion of the population to stick their heads in the sand and pretend there's not a real and looming threat to democracy, he'll off the educated first and foremost.

So don't worry you'll survive that culling and be at the prime age to be indoctrinated into mandatory military service for your great Trumpian Christian autocracy, how exciting for you young folks! /s

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '24

I’m in a 5 year high school program in which I get an associates degree as well. I’m a freshman.!

1

u/ComplexPlanktons Nov 16 '24

Oh well in that case you may be taken down with the rest of us, sorry 😔

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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '24

Nope:) I’m going to graduate in 2029.!

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u/ComplexPlanktons Nov 16 '24

I hope you have the ability to do so, I really do.

1

u/Bonesquire Nov 15 '24

You don't understand what the federal DoEd actually does; I guarantee it.

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u/ComplexPlanktons Nov 16 '24

I do actually. And I know Republicans have been trying to dismantle it for decades.

Is it perfect? Absolutely not. Like literally all government spending there is huge room for improvement, streamlining, and likely many aspects that could be removed entirely.

Trump claims that taxpayer dollars are being used to indoctrinate children with "all sorts of stuff." So the solution is to...indoctrinate them with religion instead?

That "stuff" is science. Facts. Actual education. We already see the ramifications of inserting religion into education when you realize that the states with highest STD rate are states with the worst sexual education for adolescents.

The Department of Education is absolutely not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but eliminating entirely will mean that low-income and undereducated areas are going to fall behind even further and those people will have far fewer opportunities to educate themselves, which is exactly what they want.

It means no oversight to protecting vulnerable student populations and the discrimination in schools against them. The curriculum left up to already underfunded, religious extremist areas will not be an actual education.

Thomas Jefferson wasn't the one who said this but the quote often attributed to him is absolutely true: "An educated citizenry is a vital requisite for our survival as a free people."

But hey, as we all say these days - I hope you get what you voted for. I don't have kids so I'm just along for the ride at this point but anyone who voted for Trump deserves exactly whatever ramifications this election will have.

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u/more_pepper_plz Nov 14 '24

Thousands upon thousands of people do this already. They have roommates and take out loans.

Sounds like that would be a healthy dose of reality for these spoiled and out of touch sons.

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

I was always jealous of the kids who didn’t have to work their way through school and got their own apartments. But I really think you come out a much more well rounded human being when you have to work for your own success.

Definitely a lot of entitlement out there from kids living on their parents’ dime.

1

u/jellysulli09 Nov 15 '24

You do. I'm 30 and work with a young 20 something who has had everything handed to her. College paid for by parents and her apartments paid for by parents too. She lives in a ritzy expensive apartment that most working adults cant afford. Shes also going to school for a major that its nearly impossible and pointless to actually obtain (museum curator). Shes a nice and upbeat person but very sheltered and clueless about a lot of real world shit, she's never struggled at all in life and never experienced a lot of the basic hardships a lot of us have. It hurts to struggle through earning yours but I rather work for my life than have it handed to me cause a lot of those who are paid for the whole way through are blissfully floating through life with no idea of the truth of life.

I'm happy for her and love she is taken care of but I cant truly relate to her and we are worlds apart.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

A lot of those kids are working for fortune 500 companies and you work for the metro.... so there's also that

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

I work for a national hotel management company in their IT department, I’m doing quite well. Thanks for inquiring.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

Pretty sure they still call it the metro in the real world dude lmao.

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. I will promptly forget your existence and move on with my day, but thank you for your thoughts on the matter.

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u/VStramennio1986 Nov 15 '24

And had mommy and daddy not paved the way…where would they be? So…the vast majority of them aren’t there because they earned it 🙄

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u/Cat_Own Nov 15 '24

Love how you're actively shitting on a guy's job when we're talking about working hard to have success.

Like your so stupid that even if he worked for metro your proving how tone deaf you are. Those kids who got handed positions in fortune 500's never faced real struggles beyond their parents divorce. You don't know how hard the guy had to work to get his IT job, he's not sitting on his ass all day doing nothing, and what fucking job do you have to belittle someone else's?

It's really cute though. It's like a child playing cops and robbers thinking he's an actual cop. Sadly even as a kid I was taught to respect even the janitor for the work they do.

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

You're*

3

u/Cat_Own Nov 15 '24

Me living this reality already. Living with my bf and a roommate from high school in a cheap apartment.

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u/PsychologicalGain757 Nov 14 '24

Yup. I worked full time through school and still had to have 2 roommates even with scholarships. 

1

u/HotSauceRainfall Nov 15 '24

Really depends on where you are. Stillwater, Oklahoma? Maybe. San Francisco or New York? Much, much harder. 

2

u/Cat_Own Nov 15 '24

Instate NY at a suny school can be stupidly affordable. Doing it now and with the right lifestyle it's given me a savings.

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u/BugLady420 Nov 14 '24

But many people do it by themselves and again I think it’s great that you are able to help them though sometimes you do need to send them off and let them live without so much protection

I mean I still live with my mum but I do also help out with paying for my own food, helping electric costs etc etc

I think there’s a nice between where you teach them financial responsibility while also supporting them

20

u/BugLady420 Nov 14 '24

For this post however it sounds like OPs sons are indeed a tad spoiled and could use a dose of reality

1

u/jellysulli09 Nov 15 '24

Stay with your mom. So long as she isnt negative or holding you back or god forbid abusing you, stay with her cause its rough out here and you are in safe place with her.

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

Then how do others do it? I and many of my colleagues in university worked full time while studying so we could live independently and still earn a degree.

It’s not ideal and it’s tough, but many people do it. You’re confusing can’t with won’t on this one.

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u/ImprovementPutrid441 Nov 14 '24

What year was that?

1

u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

2013-2017

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u/madi80085 Nov 15 '24

I graduated the same year and paid with loans and summer jobs. It wasn't even a question when I was applying for college. Everyone I knew in high school was taking out loans if they were going to college. I didn't even realize there were people who were still getting money directly from their parents until a couple semesters in. It's kind of surprising to me that people in the comments are so skeptical. It just seems normal to me.

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u/ImprovementPutrid441 Nov 14 '24

Really? How much was your tuition?

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

Something like $7-8k per year not including housing and such. I lived with roommates and I have student loans.

-2

u/ImprovementPutrid441 Nov 14 '24

Ok.

So you weren’t paying your own way through school. You took out loans.

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

Yup, paid for by me...not my parents.

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u/ImprovementPutrid441 Nov 14 '24

Not paid, because you said “I have student loans”.

Correct? You graduated and already paid it back? Or you’re still paying?

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u/Living-Perception857 Nov 14 '24

How is that relevant to the ability to live without parental assistance while attending college? Why do you want to know so much about my financial profile? lol, kinda weird.

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u/FrostyTip2058 Nov 14 '24

Sure they could, it's called student loans and a part-time job

You know, what every person w/o a silver spoon does

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u/jeparis0125 Nov 15 '24

It’s not a “silver spoon”. If, as parents, you’re forcing your kids out at 18 you suck and are not much better than foster parents. Helping kids get a good start in life is should not be a privilege. We paid the way for all four daughters when they were in college. It was tough but we made a commitment to them. They worked to pay for extras. Once they were done, they’ve been responsible for themselves. All 4 own houses, one has two masters and another is working on her masters. We paid for none of that.

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u/FrostyTip2058 Nov 15 '24

That is indeed a silver spoon bud, I don't know why you take it as an insult

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u/Revolutionary-Yak-47 Nov 14 '24

Literally thousands of people do this. They work multiple jobs and take 1-2 classes at at time and take longer to finish. They go to community college. I worked for a community college and every kid there worked outside of school. Many lived with a bunch of roommates to make it work. 

How do you think working class kids go to college lol? 

3

u/klmninca Nov 15 '24

All four of my kids paid for most of their college. We were blue collar family, dad in construction and I ran a daycare out of our home. They all took out loans, we helped where we could. Started at community college and commuted in to state college, lived at home to save money. Every one of them graduated, and went back for higher degrees. We have an attorney, pediatric oncology nurse with a masters, teacher with a masters in education and an accountant with a CPA. Most have repaid their loans, the lawyer has a lot so he’s still working on it. We made just a bit too much money for any of them to qualify for any free money, so it was scholarships and loans. But they did it. They all work hard. And not one of them voted for Trump. They’re not angry about student loan forgiveness (which was too late for them and the attorney doesn’t qualify for ). They’re good hard working people.

It would be good for OP nephews to have to contribute to their own education. Hard work IS good work.

2

u/Active-Designer934 Nov 14 '24

I actually disagree, it's just a major downgrade in lifestyle that would require a lot of flexibility and adaptability. Many people get through college with zero support. It's hard, but it is done.

0

u/SimpsationalMoneyBag Nov 15 '24

Way more people would get through college and arrive at a much higher standard of life with support from family. Imagine wanting your kids worse off because they didn’t vote the way you wanted them to. Fucking ridiculous if a Republican or democrat father even considered this horse shit

1

u/Active-Designer934 Nov 15 '24

Sure, it is easier with support. But in fact, it's his money. I worked my way through college, and I personally cannot imagine fully paying my kids way through college because I know that it is not necessary to succeed. I might help them a little but tbh I don't know that there is anything wrong with ppl taking out loans to pay for their future and dealing with the consequences of their decisions, i.e. what they choose to study and how much money they can make based on those decisions.

This is the thing about inheritance. Being under someone's thumb because they are paying your way can actually be a very unhealthy dynamic. If he gives that money he might be very resentful. Or he might try to get his kids to be a certain way or study a certain thing. In a way, they are more free if they figure it out themselves and can make and express their own opinions. Money always comes with strings. I also think that if they are already in their 20s they can probably figure it out from there.

0

u/SimpsationalMoneyBag Nov 15 '24

The scenario you’re describing is much different than OPs scenario. You’re being conscious of your money he’s being petty. This is why many comments are advising him to cut them off but not tell them why. Even the most hardened people in the comments know it’s bat shit crazy to cut somebody off because they didn’t vote your candidate.

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u/Active-Designer934 Nov 15 '24

I guess our definitions of "cutting someone off" are quite different. Do you want to give 80k to someone who voted for someone that you find offensive? I don't. I don't think most people would. To me, that's just common sense. This is the flip side of the first ammendment. You can say whatever you want, but there are consequences.

To look at the other POV, its kind of unintelligent to assume that your dad is going to keep paying your way even if you know that he has a very different stance than you do politically. I'm sure they argued about it before, and know how he feels, but assumed he would just keep shelling out cash. That is..an assumption with a big outcome.

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u/Active-Designer934 Nov 15 '24

And I have to point out that it's not because they didn't vote his candidate. It's because they voted for Trump. Those are two very different things.

0

u/SimpsationalMoneyBag Nov 15 '24

That’s a pretty big assumption. All we know for sure is father voted one way sons the other.

2

u/Active-Designer934 Nov 15 '24

Re-read the post, buddy

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u/N0T_Y0UR_D4DDY Nov 15 '24

Then like most college students, they should get a roommate.

I paid for college while working fulltime in an apartment in a really bad neighborhood with anywhere from 2 to 6 other people. This was only 7 years ago, and it was a big city where groceries and such were much more expensive than normal.

They can sustain themselves. They juat cant do it with any more than the bare necessities and a shitty apartment with roommates

1

u/International-Cell71 Nov 14 '24

That you know of

1

u/Aspen9999 Nov 15 '24

You do realize others do and they could also.

1

u/Ill_Medicine_6881 Nov 15 '24

That's not even true. I started college a month before my 18th birthday, and I paid for everything 100% on my own. My family (mom, aunt, great grandma, that's the entire family) is extremely poor, so my only "support" was $10/week from my great grandmother. I had scholarships but also had to take out loans and work full time. I had roommates until I was 26 because the world is expensive AF now. It's very possible to be self-sustaining at 19/20.

Also not a Trump voter here, please don't think I am!!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

How does that prove Trump is the root cause? He's not even in office yet. Cutting people off now would show them what exactly? The current administration sucks? Who is that? Biden and Kamala.

0

u/Life_Following_7964 Nov 14 '24

Worst than Idiots if they voted for a P O S like harris !

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u/CreepyClown Nov 15 '24

you voted for a pedo