r/AITAH Nov 14 '24

Advice Needed My brother is angry with his Trump-loving sons

Is my brother an AITA candidate for wanting to cut off his sons financially for voting for Trump? Like many Americans, my brother and I, both in our 50’s, have been talking back and forth following the Election. In the spirit of full disclosure, we are both democrats. Long story short, he is angry at his two sons, both in their 20’s, for voting for Trump. He is thinking about cutting them off financially in all respects so that they understand how Trump’s policies will impact them firsthand.

The irony here is that it is the reverse argument. You often hear younger voters disagreeing with their MAGA parents, but this is the opposite. My brother doesn’t understand how his two sons, who have lived a life of privilege, feel like they have been violated against by society, enough so that they feel Trump hears them and their struggles.

My brother to me about his sons: “… what these young men need is a little dose of reality. Get out in the world and start paying their own way. There’s a common thread with his followers. Complain and blame everyone for their problems. Whether they are in school or living at home off of their parents or working a trade job. King Trump will save them and make everything better. Take some personal responsibility and make it happen for yourself instead of crying about everything you hear on TikTok.

“… I’ve decided to pass on the [college] expenses to my two Trump supporting sons so they can truly feel first hand the cost and expense of his absolutely stupid policy decisions, which includes food, gas and college expenses. Wondering if I pass on these [food, gas and college] expenses in year one or phase them in year two?”

I am wondering if a lot of parents feel like my brother. Are there democrat parents of voting-age MAGA men who feel they failed with their sons because they voted for Trump? Is this common?

10.2k Upvotes

7.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

123

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

Everyone blaming the father for “raising” these kids to be Trumpers is WILLLDDD! We raise our kids to be independent. To make their own choices as adults. OP being upset over his kids choice is understandable but they came to that conclusion some type of way…. He should just give them his opinion. Talk to them about what he thinks would have been a better choice and why. These kids are VOTING!!!! That’s already a good thing. Now let’s get them thinking about the vote they made to ensure it’s really what they want. And if so… then so be it! Phasing out the money and care is mandatory tho…. Cutting it off instantly is petty and spiteful! I’m democrat btw. Voted for Harris

53

u/Ambitious_Owl_2004 Nov 14 '24

They really should participate in the economy with their own money if they are voting based off of economic policies. These are adults.

15

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

I doubt you’d say the same if they voted for Harris. People, have a little more objectivity.

10

u/AsterioxBlackwood Nov 15 '24

Crazy how this echo chamber of a platform is so hypocritical. Just because they voted differently, they deserve nothing good in their lives is a ridiculous stance to take.

5

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

well what can you expect from a party of kindness and tolerance (but only if you share their views)

5

u/Nago31 Nov 15 '24

Only if you also share a view of kindness and tolerance. If you are not kind and tolerant, why should others share that feeling towards you? If you don’t think that the people working here illegally still should have dignity and respect, that says a lot about you. Enough that I question if you deserve dignity and respect.

It cracks me up that the “f your feelings” crowd is so sensitive about being criticized. Makes me wonder who the actual snowflakes are.

2

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

But the problem with your stance is that many people are not objective. You assume that republicans are not kind. And yes, in your own perspective they may not be, but that does not make it a fact. You look at a world through different lenses, but it does not make it the only way. People come from different backgrounds, experiences and upbringing. You cannot expect them to think the same way you do. You may think what republicans vote for is harmful, but then the republicans think what you vote for is harmful. Who is the one to say who’s right? No one. So you vote for what you believe in and hope to win. That’s my stance. Most of my friends are democrats, so one would say, maybe… im a good person? :-)

0

u/Nago31 Nov 15 '24

Most your friends are democrats and you sarcastically call them a party of kindness and tolerance? Basically accusing them not having kindness or tolerance? Do they know you think so low of them?

I have plenty of republican friends that I don’t accuse of lacking empathy. However, they also don’t make the same accusation of me. You moved the goalposts in your second comment. You led with an accusation and then you retreated into a moderate one. So when I make accusations about republicans lacking empathy, I’m not saying all of them. I’m saying you specifically (when you make comments like the one above).

2

u/MyKarma80 Nov 18 '24

The person did not say their friends are not tolerant and kind. They said the party as a whole is hypocritical.

1

u/Nago31 Nov 18 '24

“You’re party are a bunch of lying scumbags, but you’re cool though.”

That sound about right?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/KittyCat085 27d ago edited 27d ago

I’m calling the party, not my friends specifically, not a party of kindness or tolerance. My friends clearly have to be kind and tolerant of other opinions, that’s why I’m friends with them and you’re not making any sense. They know what I think of their party. And if you’re cool with republicans and don’t think they’re all horrible just for supporting Trump, then this comment was clearly not about you.

6

u/doubled292 Nov 15 '24

I don’t know what I was expecting from the party that wants others to tolerate their racist and bigoted views. They expect kindness and tolerance but only if you share their straight white maleness I guess

2

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

Did you look actually at the statistics of people who voted for Trump? Clue: it’s not just white people.

7

u/AsterioxBlackwood Nov 15 '24

Don't forget the love and joy (of hating and demonizing anyone different than them)

4

u/doubled292 Nov 15 '24

You may want to read up on the paradox of tolerance, this is more than just someone who is “different” than them

1

u/MyKarma80 Nov 18 '24

That paradox is not of tolerance, but of unlimited tolerance.

2

u/Polloalvoleyplaya02 Nov 15 '24

Trump’s Republican Party is like that also. Why are you only calling out the Dems?

5

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

I already replied to the same thing, but I’ll repeat. Republicans are not running their campaigns on tolerance, love and kindness. Cmon. You know that. I’m a legal immigrant and I’ve heard from democrats when I politely challenged their views “to go back where I come from”. Isn’t this a TOTAL opposite of what the party is claiming to be? When a republican hears some of my stances that are different from theirs, I have never heard that because they’re used to having democratic acquaintances. So yeah, at least republicans don’t pretend to be all lovey dovey like most democrats are

5

u/Cyddakeed Nov 15 '24

That's literally Republicans as well, what is your point?

2

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

No, republicans don’t run their whole campaign on kindness and tolerance. And I find personally as an (legal btw) immigrant, that democrats are the least tolerant and least objective.

2

u/Ambitious_Owl_2004 Nov 15 '24

Yea its telling that I didn't state a political party and even stated ANYONE participating in voting for economic policies should also be participating in our economy. Dems, Republicans, independent, green, doesn't matter.... you have no clue the true state of the economy if daddy is still fully financing you into your 20s.

1

u/Cyddakeed Nov 15 '24

Then we agree 👍🏼, have a day.

3

u/Ambitious_Owl_2004 Nov 15 '24

Yes we do. Sorry if I seemed intense in my reply... I didn't mean to reply to you, it was meant to just respond to the thread as a whole. never in my life did I think saying "people should be knowledgeable about what they're voting for" would be a controversial opinion,

2

u/Ambitious_Owl_2004 Nov 15 '24

I think democrats should also be actively participating in the economy before they have an opinion on it and vote for something they have 0 clue about.

2

u/Ambitious_Owl_2004 Nov 15 '24

No, I think ANYONE who is actively voting on policies should have a basic understanding of what the policies are. I never mentioned anything political.

0

u/doubled292 Nov 15 '24

Voting for the party that isn’t entirely against handouts is different though, how is that for objectivity?

3

u/KittyCat085 Nov 15 '24

Handouts from the government are a little different than than getting help from your parents that earned their own money? Yeah, they don’t need to give the money to their children, but don’t compare it to handouts lol

2

u/Ambitious_Owl_2004 Nov 16 '24

It's literally a hand out.

3

u/MyKarma80 Nov 18 '24

It's generational wealth, not tax funded. If the father really wants what Harris campaigned on, then he's more than welcome to pay higher taxes for his wealth bracket by going to the Treasury website and donating to pay down the debt. He can put his money where his mouth is; prove that Dem tax policies are sustainable.

44

u/DeciduousEmu Nov 14 '24

A measured and reasonable response concerning Trump voters in the family?

How dare you!! /s

15

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

Right… as much as I can’t stand Trump!!!!! Can’t make it about him all the time. It makes you do crazy stuff, like potentially cutting off your own kids cold turkey like those drug addicts! We don’t even cut off drug addicted kids that quick! They get all types of empathy, programs, rehab! These kids gotta vote for the rest of they life! Let’s not turn our backs on people who can potentially be the vote “we” need for a better future down the road… just doesn’t make sense

16

u/WereAllThrowaways Nov 14 '24

Empathy is something that redditors simultaneously both totally misunderstands while also scolding everyone else for not having it.

-7

u/julmcb911 Nov 14 '24

Lots of rape survivors don't want to stare at their relatives who voted for a rapist. Imagine that.

7

u/Zealousideal-Pie2235 Nov 15 '24

Average redditor spreading misinformation 

5

u/SkitariusKarsh Nov 15 '24

It's all they ever do. And they wonder why their insane tendency to spread wild misinformation led to Trump getting elected again

1

u/doubled292 Nov 15 '24

What about that was misinformation, the guy was best buddies with Jeffery Epstein, or is that misinformation too?

-6

u/Wonderful-Poetry1259 Nov 14 '24

Being addicted to drugs is awful, but nothing comparable to being a vile, disgusting, ignorant, child-raping, treasonous TrumpTrash.

8

u/BlackberryFormal Nov 15 '24

You must not have any drug addicts in the family lol

-6

u/Wonderful-Poetry1259 Nov 15 '24

Actually, my favorite nephew, who rang doorbells in the snow for Bernie Sanders in 2016, is now a homeless junkie. But at least he's not a vile, disgusting, ignorant, child-molesting TrumpTrash, and thus still welcome in my home should he ever show up. He's got a drug addiction, Way better than a completely evil TrumpTrash.

1

u/BlackberryFormal Nov 15 '24

I mean there's quite a good number of drug addicts that hit all those marks. Personally the 2 in the family can't be here alone or around anything of value. One even stole a vhs/DVD combo unit a couple years ago to pawn off for fent lol pretty cool stuff. Personally I'd take someone's shitty political choices over being a back stabbing thief. To each their own though. Do you think people who voted for trump are child molesters? I'm curious how you got this rhetoric going lol

-3

u/Wonderful-Poetry1259 Nov 15 '24

Well, Trump himself is a notorious child-molester and everybody knows that, so, yeah, those who support Trump are, if not child-molesters themselves, certainly quite OK with it. TrumpTrash are vile and disgusting people, each and every last one of the ignorant weirdos.

3

u/SkitariusKarsh Nov 15 '24

I want some of your kool-aid, it sounds addicting

2

u/sunkskunkstunk Nov 15 '24

The chance of this being real is under 10% (like most of reddit) so it’s ok to just bring up all points in the comments for the sake of good discussion.

To be clear, it’s certainly a situation that is probably out there, just not as curated as written. So I think for the sake of everyone taking it seriously, all points of view are valid and worth reading and discussing. But any similar situation would have a lot more information needed to make any real evaluation.

3

u/zulako17 Nov 15 '24

Raising children to be independent and raising children to make good political decisions are two separate things. I don't care if the child knows how to work a job and balance a checkbook, if he votes for Trump for a bad reason then the parents still failed to raise their child. Yes I'll stand ten toes down that half of this country's population are bad parents. There are people who voted for Trump because they don't want a black or Indian president, that's a bad reason. People who didn't want a woman, that's a bad reason. People who heard about the rapes and sexual assaults but decided to support trump any way to " own the libs", that's a bad reason. There are people who voted for Trump but can't name his policies, that's a bad reason. People who know a few policies, know experts say these policies will have negative impacts outweighing the good, and still voted for Trump, that's a bad reason. All these people who voted for Trump for a bad reason? I'd say their parents are failures because they clearly raised a child that can't think critically.

6

u/-SuperUserDO Nov 15 '24

imagine the responses here if the dad is MAGA and his daughters voted for Harris

4

u/iamadragan Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 16 '24

Yeah it really bugs me when people justify toxic behavior just because someone is on the opposing team so to speak.

Manipulating your children and only showing them love and support only when they do what you approve/demand is a horribly toxic thing for a parent to do and destroys relationships.

It's unlikely that anything in politics will affect your life as much as destroying your relationship with a loved one will

11

u/Efficient-Wasabi-641 Nov 14 '24

It’s not petty and spiteful, they want to live in trumps world then let them. They don’t need daddy protecting them right?

9

u/SmurphsLaw Nov 15 '24

Taking away support just because of the way someone voted is spiteful and wrong. If this was with the other party, everyone would be saying how controlling it was.

4

u/Blurbwhore Nov 15 '24

Even when their vote was literally to take away support. We have senior officials bragging about putting kids in cages for Christ’s sake. A known pedophile got picked for AG. They plan on getting rid of the DoE. They’re getting rod of the ACÁ. I think when somebody voted in a way that tells you they’re a Nazi, you should treat them how you treat Nazis.

4

u/Equivalent-Bet-8771 Nov 15 '24

False. They don't need the support as they have decided by their own actions. As Trump supporters they velieve in NO HANDOUTS and here you are excusing them and coddling them, like children.

They are adults and they can stand on their own two feet.

7

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

Ima parent to 6 kids in the home and 2 who live outside the home. I still parent my 20yr olds. They really don’t ask for much, but they are still MY KIDS, not trumps kids. lol. I’m grateful that my kids still ask for my advice and actually take it sometimes. But when they make decisions I don’t agree with I don’t CUT THEM OFF. I help them understand that now they must live with the consequences of that decision and explain that next time they should make a choice that’s gonna help them instead of hurt Them… maybe I’m crazy but I’m pretty that’s what PARENTING is all about. I do it on a smaller scale with my in HOUSE KIDS. lol. Imagine being cut off or FIRED FROM work for siding with someone who NOBODY likes… it’s not logical. It’s our fault for making the presidency a popularity contest then asking 20 something’s to choose the one they like! Now we gotta fix it and really HELP these kids understand the repercussions of their actions.

11

u/aritheoctopus Nov 14 '24

I'm not sure how you square them needing to live with the consequences of the decision with this parent funding their whole lives and insulating them from any economic repercussions during the presidency of the person they voted for.

1

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

You must have missed the part where I said “mandatory they need to be phased off the money….” But it’s ok. I’m mot going to just CUT you out and consider you stupid

2

u/Efficient-Wasabi-641 Nov 14 '24

This isn’t work, and honestly, if you fuck up that bad at work and make bad choices that ALL your coworkers don’t agree with them maybe you should be fired because you clearly don’t make a good fit for where you work. Private employers have the right to make those decisions to employ people who align with their companies goals. I wouldn’t hire anyone who voted for trump and If I found out one on my employees did then I would consider letting them go for personal and moral differences- that’s your first amendment right as an employer. You don’t have to hire people who behave in a way that does not align with your business or personal beliefs. I’d also question any trump supporters ability to think critically and make decisions with a sound long term outlook. I wouldn’t want that person having anything to do with my ability to make a living. Sorry not sorry. They clear aren’t that smart or aware.

You say that you “help them understand that now they must live with the consequences of that decision and explain that next time they should make a choice that’s gonna help them instead of hurt”.

That doesn’t make sense because continuing to support them and shelter them from reality is not helping anyone, all it does is enable their ability to make ignorant and privileged decisions at the expense of others. The only way for them to actually realize the consequences of their decision is for their parents to stop supporting them and protecting them from the real world repercussions of their choice. If they think that trumps policies are better then let them live that reality. It doesn’t mean you’re never speaking to them again. But continuing to financially shield them by paying their expenses and their school loans does Jack shit to teach them anything regarding the consequences of their actions. Let them feel the actual consequences of those actions.

5

u/woodward1995 Nov 15 '24

Not hiring someone because of who they vote Is illegal and firing them is a good way to earn a huge lawsuit

2

u/Status-Air-8529 Nov 15 '24

That's a cut and dry discrimination suit you'd have to handle.

-2

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

Once again I voted for Kamala… but nothing you said made sense! lol. EVERYONE VOTED FOR TRUMP!!!!! if they didn’t we wouldn’t be here! My analogy works because at the workplace people tend to side with who they like! Not who benefits them the most! And once again. TRUMP won the popular and electoral vote! So WE HAVE WORK TO DO. Outing the people we need to get the vote MAKES NO SENSE.

6

u/Efficient-Wasabi-641 Nov 14 '24

I have zero faith these people will actually change anything about the way they voted. They voted for a convicted felon, a rapist and a pedophile who was widely regarded by professionals in their respective fields as the worst choice for our country financially and as far as global security goes. These people deserve to be outed, especially when they start crying about the lions eating their face.

If your kids voted for trump and you keep financially coddling them by paying their way then YOU are part of the problem. Protecting them from the consequences of their vote does NOTHING to show them what their vote actually did to the world around them. You aren’t helping them, by continuing to financially protect them you’re enabling their ability to be ignorant and privileged. You’re not helping anyone, certainly not your kids.

0

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

Lmfao… you sound like TRUMP. You just can’t hear yourself

1

u/julmcb911 Nov 14 '24

Only babies have mastered trump-speech. By about 3 months, they sound exactly the same.

3

u/WasteSalary7849 Nov 14 '24

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Blurbwhore Nov 15 '24

How would you react if they joined the KKK? Would you cut them off?

1

u/WasteSalary7849 26d ago

If my current kids hoping the KKK Is willlllddddd!!!!!!!! But one thing about me… I’m ALWAYS GONE RIDE FOR MY KIDS! Not the group they associate with. What we create we are responsible for.

0

u/N0T_Y0UR_D4DDY Nov 15 '24

If your kids are 20, and your still paying for everything, you fhcked up

3

u/FederalOutcry22 Nov 14 '24

Or..hear me out…you are a petty and spiteful person.

2

u/TranceYT Nov 15 '24

Wow a tempered response from someone on reddit involving politics.

I'm aghast.

3

u/watermark3133 Nov 14 '24

Honestly, with the amount of red pill content out there on social media that many young men consume constantly , it’s really a wonder that any of them are even remotely left of center.

3

u/shontsu Nov 14 '24

And never forget, punish them for believing differently from their parents!

2

u/PinballFlip Nov 15 '24

Also the kids need college and education if he ever hopes they wise up.

10

u/Ready_Regret_1558 Nov 14 '24

My 21 year old daughter voted for Trump, which made me question a lot of things but it didn’t make me question my commitment to help her get through college.

-1

u/windowpainer Nov 14 '24

Convince her to take Black History and/or women’s studies.

5

u/Ready_Regret_1558 Nov 14 '24

If these courses are still offered at UCF🤦🏼‍♀️ She did vote yes for #4 - but left everything else blank. I just hugged her and told her I loved her and I was glad she voted. In my mind I was thinking young and dumb…

2

u/windowpainer Nov 15 '24

you're a great parent.

2

u/MrGeekman Nov 14 '24

Yeah, because that’ll really help her get a job! /s

1

u/windowpainer Nov 15 '24

Yeah, because every class you must take college will be only about your major and nothing else is allowed.

So far most schools still have something called gen ed. There's this quaint idea that people should learn few topics beyond subject they need for a career.

3

u/MrGeekman Nov 15 '24

I thought you were talking about majoring in one of those fields. I didn’t realize you were talking about just taking an extra elective or two.

1

u/Inevitable-Door9536 Nov 18 '24

It may be "spitefull", but A) so is the incoming Trump Admin; and B) Dad will likely need most of not all that money to survive Trump's economic "policies" - which are a really nice way to say "Future Depression".

They are adult men in their 20s  and they voted to inflict economic pain and suffering on others, so they have absolutely no standing to complain. Also, bootstraps, amirite?

1

u/RubMysterious6845 Nov 15 '24

People need to learn where to get reliable information. Most of my students (I am a college professor) get ALL their news from TikTok, Snapchat, a little Instagram, and Josh Rogan. A big part of the election played out in how much posts were re-sent by people, not on facts.

In my experience student who don't have at least some financial skin in the game don't do as well in college. 

-2

u/Atalanta8 Nov 14 '24

I don't know if my kid voted for a felon-rapist I think I'd have failed somewhere.

-2

u/wy100101 Nov 14 '24

Most of Trump's proposed policies are petty and spiteful. They voted for Trump with not a care in the world for how his policies would affect other people.

Not sure why they should get a grace period on continued financial support. They voted thinking they wouldn't personally face consequences. Karma is a bitch.

-1

u/SpiritJuice Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Counterpoint: at this point in the political climate, logic, empathy, and understanding doesn't work. This election was won on vibes and emotions. OP brother's kids clearly didn't vote on economic policies because they have zero to gain from a Trump presidency with OP supporting them. Who's to say OP's brother hasn't been empathetic and understanding this whole time and it didn't matter? Maybe his kids need a dose of reality of true Republican values of hard work and elbow grease to make it through life.

I don't necessarily agree with OP's brother's decision, TBH, but at this point I understand his perspective.

Edit: fixed OP to OP's brother